Disfigure
by avalanches
Summary: S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Katherine Baker is trying to heal. That means no field work, no reading files on HYDRA, no finding out who murdered her family when she was ten. So when Captain America wakes up from his seventy year long sleep, Director Fury decides Katherine is the perfect person to spend six months with him in a safe house in Delaware. Steve/OC
1. Preface

Hi everyone! Welcome to the short preface of my new Marvel story, Disfigure! Disfigure is part of a larger Marvel Cinematic Universe group of stories I have called The Salvation Series, which I will eventually upload here. Right now only Disfigure and Better (my Tony Stark) fic are posted on Wattpad, but I want to bring them over here since I know this is a platform a lot of people use to read fanfiction. I have a tumblr in which I discuss all of my characters and you can find it at _**fleetwoodmcs****. **_. This is just a short little snippet of what's going on in Katherine's life pre-Steve awakening from the ice. I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

_Agent Baker, stop_.

Arrow after arrow released from the bow, embedding themselves into the flesh of people she didn't know. Sometimes she felt guilty about taking lives from HYDRA Agents. What if they had families? Someone waiting for them at home? Who was she to determine who lived and who died? But she stood there, no trace of what made her Katherine Baker left. She was Silhouette, the agent S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Nick Fury had found in Sweden when she was barely ten years old, orphaned and alone in the corner of her childhood home with the bodies of her parents and brother strewn around her in the cruelest form of massacre.

_Agent Baker, stop this. They're gone_.

Silhouette, who had vowed that day to find the person responsible for that day, the day when she was huddled in the corner of her house begging a God she didn't believe existed anymore to bring her family back. Silhouette, who had closed herself off until the strong and solid man with the eyepatch held his hand out to her and promised to teach her how to defend herself. Silhouette, who worked hours upon hours to build muscle and train until she could dispose of three, six, ten men in the blink of an eye. Silhouette, who had never felt more far away from Katherine Baker than she did just then, arrows still flying even with the calm voice growing incessantly louder demanding her to stop.

_Agent Baker!_

The bow was ripped away from her, and she could feel someone gripping her shoulders and forcing the arrows on her back to the ground. It wasn't enough. It wasn't satisfying enough to see the three HYDRA Agents on the ground, well past showing signs of life. It wasn't enough until Natasha Romanoff was twisting Silhouette's body (not Katherine Baker, Katherine Baker could never do this) around to face the other direction that Silhouette even noticed she was crying.

_Fury, I've got no idea what's happening to Agent Baker. You've got to get her out of the field for a while. Find her something else to do_.

She sat in the plain and drab beige room, her breathing barely making noise compared to the shuddering breaths he was letting out, lying there in the same position she'd guaranteed he'd been in for at least sixty years. The noise of the old baseball game didn't even register through her brain. All that registered was that maybe, just maybe, she'd been Silhouette for so long that she didn't even know who Katherine Baker was anymore, but the man in front of her needed to know who she was. He couldn't rely on just Silhouette. He needed the girl behind her, too.

_Agent Baker, what do you know about Captain America?_


	2. Chapter One

The good thing about staring at Captain America, waiting for a sign of life, was the consistency.

If there was one thing Katherine Baker had never had in her life, it was consistency. From the moment her family had been murdered in her home in Stockholm, her life had been a whirlwind of movement, never standing still or remaining stagnant. She had gone from the little girl cowering in the corner of her home to accepting Nick Fury's proposal to train her and mold her into a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Her body had suffered cuts, bruises, and the occasional broken bone, but her body had never suffered the dull nature of a consistent routine. Never once had she felt as if she was stuck in a rut. By the time she had turned twenty-seven, no one day of her life as Silhouette had ever been the same as the day before.

Maybe in the end, that was what caused her little attack a month prior to that very moment, when she didn't know where Silhouette ended and Katherine Baker began. Only, in that second when she was sinking arrow after arrow into Hydra soldiers that were already dead, there was no trace left of Katherine Baker within her. The thought scared her more than she wanted to admit. And she was forced to relive those memories of a ten-year-old covered in her family's blood, all the while the young girl asking over and over again to the woman she now saw in the mirror, "_was it worth it_?"

Steve Rogers's finger twitched. Katherine's eyes honed in on the movement.

When they had fished him out of the ocean a month ago, the entire S.H.I.E.L.D. base had been abuzz with some kind of electricity that only Steve Rogers seemed to provide. This was a war hero, the only person Doctor Abraham Erskine's serum had worked on, and the man who had singlehandedly saved the fate of the Earth when he crashed the Valkyrie into the Atlantic Ocean. Katherine had grown up hearing stories about the legendary Captain America. If things had been different, she would have been as excited as her fellow agents. But that was when things were worse than bad and Natasha Romanoff had calmly helped Silhouette wash the endless amount of blood off her hands until the bottom of the sink turned pink. But in the end, it hadn't mattered whether or not Katherine was excited about the Captain's arrival. Because Fury had put her in charge of the sleeping soldier, like a prison ward. Or what she assumed Rogers would find even worse, a _babysitter_.

There was absolutely nothing to do in Steve Rogers's room. Katherine had already been lulled to sleep by the boring crossword puzzles Clint Barton playfully dropped off when he found out she was in charge of watching someone _sleep_. She hadn't been able to enjoy a book since what Romanoff dubbed "The Incident" because the anxious feeling always covered Katherine like a straight jacket until her heart was racing and her eyes blurred the words on the page. She had never been a good artist, so even doodling absentmindedly was out of the question. With the limited options, all that was really left for Katherine to do was watch the soldier to make sure he didn't start choking in his sleep or something equally life-threatening. That, and make small tallies in the notebook she always kept nearby when he made a movement. She reached for the notebook and uncapped the pen she kept inside, making a small tally mark next to the others. In the timespan of a month, Steve Rogers had only moved six times.

"You look like hell," a voice commented from the doorway. Katherine didn't jump, well past the point of being scared when an unfamiliar voice entered the room. She did, however, reach for her side for a gun that wasn't there and then let out a huff of annoyance when she realized she was in a heavily protected S.H.I.E.L.D. base and had nothing to be afraid of. The pretty Cuban agent standing at the door had her arms crossed as she rested against the threshold, hair pulled back in a no-nonsense ponytail so Katherine could see the worry in her eyes clearly. "When's the last time you ate?"

Katherine couldn't answer her. "I have to watch him," she said as an explanation, jamming her thumb in Steve's direction.

"Yeah, well to watch him, you can't die of starvation." Sophia Benjamin was the only one in their section of the base that didn't give a shit about dressing in the stupid nineteen-forties clothes everyone in that area did. Katherine personally hadn't agreed with the decor in Steve's room, insisting that when he woke up, he wouldn't be happy about the deception. No one had listened. Katherine was the only one who wore her normal work clothes, which today consisted of black slacks and a long-sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. She was glad to see Sophia hadn't agreed to the stupid costumes either, though she looked much more relaxed in denim jeans and a leather jacket. "Go get something to eat, Kate. The Captain isn't going to fall apart without you here."

Katherine didn't bother replying. Sure, Captain Rogers wouldn't fall apart. But Katherine hadn't really been out of his room for long periods of time since Fury had assigned her to watch over him. Given that his room had an adjacent bathroom, Katherine took most of her showers in there. Usually one of the other nurses brought her food. She had a suitcase of clothes sitting underneath the bathroom counter. There wasn't any real reason for her to leave the room. And if she were being completely honest with herself, Captain Rogers may not have fallen apart, but _she_ might have. She hadn't adjusted since "The Incident," and she was terrified of what lay beyond the walls of the drab beige room she'd been self-exiled to for the past month.

She heard Sophia let out a sigh and heard the scuff of her shoes on the floor as she made her way over to Katherine. "C'mon, Kate. Let's go get some coffee at the canteen. We'll have one of the nurses watch him. Ten minutes at the most." Sophia was known throughout S.H.I.E.L.D. as an excellent negotiator, which made sense as Katherine's body turned towards Sophia in utter acceptance of her request. "They've got that coconut creamer you like. We'll walk there and back, if you want." Katherine could read between the lines. Sophia was really trying to ask, "_what are you so afraid of_?"

_Silhouette_, Katherine thought. But she was Silhouette, wasn't she? How did she put into words that she was afraid of herself?

"Okay," Katherine agreed. She untangled her arms from around her legs and stood, her bones popping in protest. Her eyes lingered on Steve Rogers as she ran her fingers over her slacks, straightening any creases that had formed from her stiff position on the chair. "Lead the way," Katherine said, her voice small in the room. She hated hearing herself speak. Her voice, once so strong and confident was nothing more than a whisper. Sophia didn't say anything, though. Sophia never did. Sophia was all facial expressions, so easily conveying how she was feeling or what she was thinking. It was both a strength and a weakness, and it was something Sophia had hated throughout her entire life. Katherine rubbed her arms awkwardly when she stepped out of the beige room, immediately catching the eye of two S.H.I.E.L.D. agents stationed outside the Captain's room.

"Agent Baker," one of them said in surprise. Katherine recognized her. Her name was Sadie, and if Katherine remembered correctly, she was freshly engaged to another S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who worked in operations. "You're leaving?" Sadie asked in surprise. Katherine tried not to notice the idiotic 1940's getup Sadie was currently sporting, her pretty brown curls pristine and her lips painted the same color as blood. Sadie then seemed to sense her words could be construed as an insulting comment and her eyes widened in surprise. "Sorry Agent Baker, that's not what I—"

"I know what you meant," Katherine said quietly. "I'm going to get some food with Agent Benjamin. Mind keeping an eye on him for me? I should be back within ten minutes."

Sadie smiled and nodded. "Of course, Agent Baker. Cory and I will stand out here and make sure nothing happens." Katherine wanted to turn back immediately, suddenly afraid that something would happen to Captain Rogers in the ten minutes it would take her to get food. Sophia seemed to sense her discomfort and put her hand on Katherine's arm. While the grip was loose at that particular moment, Katherine knew it would lock in a vice if Katherine tried to retreat back to Steve Rogers's room. "I'm sure everything will be fine, Agent Baker. What could go wrong in ten minutes?"

"My entire family was killed in five," Katherine deadpanned. She felt a small amount of guilt when Sadie's smile fell and her body physically winced, but the sentiment of the statement was the same. "Always expect the worst. Always be prepared," Katherine continued. She didn't care if Sadie was a new agent and she was probably scaring the shit out of her. Sadie had to know what she was getting into the moment she was caught in Nick Fury's crosshairs. Her life would never be the same again. "Just talk through the comm system if anything goes wrong."

"Yes ma'am," Sadie said, her voice a little shaken. Cory, who had been silent through the entire stage, looked straight ahead as if he were a soldier when Katherine's eyes turned on him. Sophia snorted quietly before her grip on Katherine's arm was suddenly pulling, moving Katherine's body with a surprising amount of strength.

"See you rookies later," Sophia called cheerily as she moved Katherine along the hallway. If Katherine had cared enough, she would have ripped her arm out of Sophia's grip and demanded that she could very well walk herself to the canteen, but she was still in a small daze from actually leaving the walls of the beige room. They passed by the sepia-colored landscape of New York positioned strategically right outside the window of Steve Rogers's room and into the empty space they were keeping him confined in. Sophia hit the latch on the door and pushed it open, thrusting Katherine out into a world she hadn't seen in a month. A world she hadn't _wanted_ to see.

Sophia led the way to the canteen, passing by agents that stared at Katherine as if she were an exhibit in a museum. She grimaced under their stares. The Old Katherine would have walked out of that room confidently, ignoring her fellow agents and strutting down the hallway as if it were a runway and she was a supermodel. That was a Katherine possessed by Silhouette, however, and she wasn't sure she wanted to be Silhouette anymore. Not after she'd come to, staring at ten bodies with arrows sticking out of nearly every inch of skin she could see. They hadn't even had the chance to put that stupid little pill in their mouths and end their own lives. They were dead before they could say "_Hail Hydra_."

The canteen was full of agents, scattered around in their own little groups. She saw Maria Hill, sitting with Phil Coulson and conversing about some upcoming assignment they had. She saw Marilyn Porter sitting and reading something out of a manila folder while she sipped out of a silver thermos. Prior knowledge of the agent had Katherine knowing she was drinking her coffee straight black, the same way Sophia did. Katherine had tried for years to be the tough agent that took her coffee black, but she could never stomach the taste of it. She always ended up pouring more sugar than necessary and dumping the coconut creamer inside. Sophia continued to drag her to the coffee station, where there were about eight coffee machines lined up against the wall. A pretty blonde woman was standing there, filling up her cup. She regarded Katherine in the same way Sadie had, her face looking completely shocked. Unlike Sadie, this girl recovered her facial expression before Katherine could mention it.

"Agent Baker," she said in surprise, pulling her coffee cup away from the machine and slapping a lid on the top. "I'm surprised to see you out here. How are you?"

Katherine would have been patronized by the question if she hadn't known the woman was nothing but genuine. But she still moved uncomfortably away from her, ignoring her in favor of grabbing a cup from the stack next to the machine. Sophia had no problem answering. "She's fine, Sharon. Enjoying watching your aunt's old beau. Quite the Sleeping Beauty he is."

Sharon, long since accustomed to Sophia's blunt words and tone, simply let out a small laugh. "Can't imagine watching someone sleep is all that interesting. Aunt Peggy would have just slapped him awake." Someone must have said something into her comm device, for her head turned to the side as if to turn towards the voice, and her hand reached up to press against the black plastic in her ear. "Sorry ladies, I've got to run. Hope watching Cap becomes more interesting," Sharon said in Katherine's general direction before she was gone.

"She's sweet, but I would have expected something a little different from Peggy Carter's great niece," Sophia mentioned conversationally. "Now there's a woman I would have _loved_ to work with. You know, my great grandpa went through the Super Soldier program with Rogers, and he loves telling the story about how Peggy Carter punched the shit out of a soldier on their first day of training." Sophia snorted and capped her own coffee, watching as Katherine went through the ministrations of preparing her own cup of coffee. Neither mentioned the way her fingers seemed to shake when she took the cup into her hand and brought it to her mouth to take a drink. "I just can't picture Sharon Carter punching anyone out."

"She's a field agent," Katherine replied quietly, shrugging her shoulders. "It's kind of in her job description." But even Katherine couldn't help but agree that she'd have loved to see the legendary Peggy Carter in action. Better yet, to have seen Captain America in action. "Hey Sophia?"

"Hm?" Sophia hummed in response, already starting the trek back in the direction they had come from. Katherine was happy Sophia was going to keep her promise of only ten minutes. Katherine followed behind her happily, already seeking the solitude of the room Steve Rogers was being kept in.

"Thanks," Katherine answered.

It was then that Sophia gave Katherine a quick but meaningful smile, the kind of smile that gave Katherine a glimpse beyond the sarcastic wit and the hard exterior every S.H.I.E.L.D. agent possessed. "Sure thing, Kate. Now, we'd better get back. Sleeping Beauty needs his true love's kiss to awaken from his slumber," she said jokingly.

"Please. If I kissed him, he'd wake up to the dragon, not a princess."

Sophia stopped walking to look at her harshly. "Hey, shut the fuck up with that crap. No one here blames you for Austria." Except Katherine. Katherine blamed herself. No, that was a lie. she blamed Silhouette. But they had been one in the same lately and it was the same sting. Sophia opened her mouth to say something else, probably seeing the doubt in Katherine's eyes, but before she could, they heard the crackle of the projection comm overhead, bursting to life as someone screamed into it. "_All agents, code thirteen! I repeat, all agents, code thirteen_!"

Sophia and Katherine barely had time to look at each other for half a second before they were both taking off down the long hallway, rushing towards the room where Steve Rogers was being held. Katherine's heart dropped into her throat when she pushed the door to his facility open and saw the whole in the facade they had put up to isolate him. Sadie was standing there with tears in her eyes and Cory was on the ground. When Katherine walked over to investigate him, he was unconscious. "_Shit_!" Katherine suddenly swore, running her fingers through her hair. Fury was going to kill her. She should have never left the freaking room. "Shit," she said again, in a low voice.

"We went to go get coffee, what the hell happened in the ten minutes it took for us to _go get coffee_?" Sophia demanded of Sadie, her voice a low growl of annoyance and nothing like the soft friendly tone Katherine had heard on their small venture to get coffee. Sadie was shaking. This was the first assignment Fury had put her on, Katherine remembered. She was probably freaking out, thinking she was going to lose her job.

"The...the base...baseball game gave it...gave it away. He was at that...that game," Sadie stuttered out, her voice low and panicky.

"Damn it, Sadie, we told you to comm us if anything happened!" Sophia snapped.

"I comm'ed Agent Carter."

"Is Agent Carter in charge of the Captain, or is Agent Baker in charge of the Captain?"

"Sophia," Katherine said quietly, shaking her head. "Forget it. It's fine. I've just... I've got to go find Fury. Hopefully nothing bad has happened." Katherine didn't even stick around to see Sophia nod her head in agreement. She was off, taking off down the hallway like someone had stuck rockets in her shoes. She followed the trail of agents that seemed to be fighting their way outside, into the heart of Time's Square. Several agents started to move towards her, to hold her back, but realizing who it was, they let her move forward without any further interruptions. It was widely known throughout the base that Katherine Baker was in charge of Steve Rogers. Or better yet, that Katherine Baker was under no circumstances allowed to go out into the field just yet, not until she was better. She had no idea when that would be, but all she knew was that she had to get _better_.

When she cut through the small circle of agents, she saw him. He was taking in the views of this New York, the New York plagued with Broadway musical signs and McDonalds' golden arches, with about a thousand people on that strip of street alone. He was surveying the cars, the bright neon lights, the girl with the pink mohawk walking by, and comparing it to the New York he knew from the 1940's. And then Katherine saw his face. There was a kind of sadness there she'd never be able to categorize. This wasn't just the sadness of a soldier. This was the sadness of a good man, who had lost everything he'd ever known and had to wear the burden of sacrificing himself to save the world. But it was also the sadness of a boy, a boy who had to grow up too fast, looking at a city that was supposed to be his home, and not being able to recognize a damn thing.

Katherine had once been that sad. In that moment, she felt as close to Captain Rogers as she could have ever felt.

"Agent Baker," Fury suddenly said, his voice cutting through the emotion and reminding Katherine that she was to be the stoic agent, the stone-faced woman with a resolve of ice. She turned towards Fury, noticing that the Captain's eyes locked on her when she stepped forward. "Mind telling me why you weren't there to ease Cap into things, when that is what I explicitly told you to do?"

"I..." Katherine was at a loss for words. Fury wouldn't care if she hadn't left the room since he'd put her there. And he was right. She should have never stepped out of that room for a coffee that she was pretty sure she had dropped on her way outside, considering it was suddenly no longer in her hands. "I was down at the canteen. I wasn't alerted that he had woken up."

Fury hummed in acknowledgement before he gestured his head towards the building. "What about we take this conversation inside, Captain Rogers? You too, Agent Baker." Katherine nodded her head immediately. The three didn't speak as they filed back into the building, but Katherine's eyes were trained on Steve Rogers. Lying down on that cot hadn't done his height justice. Katherine prided herself on being of average height, about five-foot-six, but she looked like a doll next to him. He easily cleared six foot, and she was certain there was even more inches passed that mark. The serum that had seeped into his muscles made them at least four times bigger than her own, even though she was adamant about going to the gym and working out her muscles. Well, she had been until Austria. Now she just sat in Steve's room and watched him sleep.

Katherine watched one of the agents open the door for Fury and she stood aside, waiting for both her boss and the walking American hero to walk through the door before she did. However, she saw Steve falter in his footsteps before he eventually stopped walking altogether, staring at her with uncertainty in his eyes. "Captain?" she said, her eyebrows furrowing together in confusion.

If the situation weren't so strange, she might have found the slight flush of pink on his cheeks endearing. "I was, um, waiting for you to go in. Ladies first and all that."

Katherine sent him a small smile. "I appreciate the chivalry, then. You've woken up in a time where it's nearly dead." He shrugged, flinging his hands in the pockets of his khaki pants like he didn't know what to do with them. Katherine stepped into Fury's office, hearing the Captain's footsteps behind her as she moved among the room, staying close to the walls. She knew this routine. She'd stay off to the side, quiet, and only answer if Fury asked her a question. Though Sophia didn't like it when Katherine didn't give Fury a piece of her mind, Sophia didn't understand. Katherine owed Fury everything. For bringing her to S.H.I.E.L.D. when her family died, for bringing her back from the brink in Austria, for keeping an eye on her over the years. That meant she owed him respect. And if respect meant staying quiet and out of the center of missions, she would do it.

"Captain Rogers," Fury started, sitting in his seat and gesturing to the seat across from him. Katherine saw Steve glance back in her direction, as if asking if she wanted to sit. He only took the seat when she shook her head. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions."

"Did we win the war?" he asked.

Fury nodded. "In September of 1945. The Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division, also known as S.H.I.E.L.D. was founded shortly afterwards. That's where you are now, one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Headquarters."

"Who founded S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Captain Rogers asked warily, like he wasn't sure whether to trust Fury's words or not.

"A collection of different people. The big brains behind the division included three people, mostly. Howard Stark, Colonel Chester Phillips... and Agent Margaret Carter." The name Margaret was weird to hear, especially after Sophia's longwinded rants about how Peggy Carter was one of the greatest agents of all time. But the use of her full name didn't stop Captain Rogers from recognizing it.

"Peggy," Steve breathed out, leaning back against his seat as if the names Fury had spoken had completely taken the fight out of his body. "Is she... are they... did any of them make it to 2012?"

Fury reached down into his desk and produced a file, slapping it down on his desk. "Howard Stark and his wife Maria died in December of 1991. Cause of death was a car accident. Their son Anthony Stark, or Tony as most call him, is big into engineering like his father was. Colonel Chester Phillips died in 1961, peacefully in his sleep. Agent Carter... she's still alive." Katherine saw the moment Steve locked onto those words, leaning up in his seat like Fury had just dangled the most precious gemstone in front of his eyes. "She's in a retirement home in Washington D.C. A few years ago she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease." Katherine's eyes trained on the Captain as he seemed to melt into the uncomfortable chair. She didn't exactly agree with telling the Captain all of this information at that present moment in time, but she didn't dare question Fury's decision. "I know this is a lot to take in, Captain Rogers. That's why I assigned Agent Baker to your case."

"Assigned? What case?" Cap asked. Fury glanced at Katherine and gestured to the seat next to Captain Rogers. Katherine felt her feet moving of their own accord and lowered herself into the chair.

"Agent Baker monitored you to make sure nothing weird happened, bar waking up seventy years in the future. Despite the events of today," Fury shot a pointed look her way, "I trust Agent Baker completely. She'll be in charge of getting you acquainted with the year 2012. Any questions you have, you can ask her." Fury closed the file containing people from Captain Rogers's past and folded his hands together. "And you two will spend six months together in a S.H.I.E.L.D. safe house located in Wilmington, Delaware until we can procure a permanent residence here for you at S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters."

This was news to Katherine. And while Captain Rogers looked less than enthused by the idea, he at least managed to keep his mouth shut. Katherine, on the other hand, felt a slight twinge of annoyance burst through her usually calm demeanor. "That wasn't included in our briefing," Katherine said, voice tight.

"With all due respect, Agent Baker, you are no longer a field agent. Which means you'd be sitting around here doing nothing. I have personally selected you to accompany Captain Rogers to Wilmington, and if that's a problem for you, we can discuss that at a later date. Perhaps you'd like to get back on the field?" Fury raised a brow, daring her to call his bluff. Only, Katherine knew he wasn't bluffing. The second she refused this assignment, Fury would send her back out on the field. Shame washed through Katherine as she realized she'd rather be locked up with Captain Rogers for five years than ever step foot back on the field. Fury must have seen the regretful acceptance in her eyes, for he nodded. "That's what I thought. You'll leave at precisely nine o'clock A.M. tomorrow morning. You'll have until then to collect whatever belongings you want." This statement was directed towards Katherine, as the Captain had no real possessions. "Agent Baker, show Captain Rogers to his temporary room. Captain Rogers," the Captain looked at Fury, who was holding out the file. "This belongs to you. Feel free to peruse it as you wish."

The Captain nodded, taking the file from Fury and stood. Katherine silently stood from her own seat and walked towards the door, sending Captain Rogers a small smile when he hurried to hold the door open for her. Once she had completely walked through the threshold, he exited Fury's office.

Both were silent on the first half of the walk to his room. Katherine respected his need for silence. She wasn't sure how she'd be able to speak if she had woken up in the next century. She observed him from the corner of her eyes, watching him take in the new technology of the world. Someone walked by with a cell phone in their hands and he gave it a quizzical look before continuing on their walk to his quarters.

It wasn't until they got in the elevator that he spoke. "I'm sorry," he said quietly as Katherine pushed a button for the fifth floor, where Steve shared a floor with absolutely no one. It was their isolation room, usually meant for any criminals they kept, but also one of the most private rooms S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters possessed. No one would bother the Captain in this room.

"Sorry? What for?" she asked gently, striding out of the elevator when the doors opened. He caught up with her easily, and she saw he had to physically walk slower so he didn't pass her by.

"You got stuck with me. I know you don't want to spend six months in a safe house with me." His tone suggested that he wasn't entirely happy about the ordeal either.

She shrugged, the corner of her upper lip tilting up in a small smirk. "It isn't your fault. It was just a surprise." They approached his room and Katherine slid a room key card out of her jacket. With precision and haste, she slid it through the pad next to the door and watched as the door clicked open. "This is your room until tomorrow morning. All amenities are included," Katherine gestured to the suite. "You've got a television, mini bar, kitchenette, and the WiFi key is YRUFSALOHCIN19, which is just Director Fury's name backwards and a nineteen at the end of it, which is stupid if you ask me, but..." she trailed off and looked back at the Captain, finding a look of pure confusion on his face. "Right. Forgot, sorry. You don't exactly know what WiFi is."

"I do know what the bathroom is, so I'm going to go use that. Makes yourself comfortable, er..." He reached up and guiltily scratched the back of his neck. "I don't know your name."

"Katherine," she supplied. "Bathroom's through that door, to the right. I can't technically stay in here with you, we wanted you to have your privacy, so I'm going to go. If you need anything, anything at all, just press this button and speak into this intercom." She pressed the button on the intercom next to the front door. "I'll hear it in my headset, and I'll come back up here. You gonna be okay for now?"

"I think so," he said, sounding unsure.

Katherine smiled a little at his hesitance. "You're gonna be fine, Cap. I know it's a lot to take in, but I'm confident you'll make it through." She moved to open the door. "Remember, just press and hold." She demonstrated the intercom once more before she gave him a small nod. "If I don't see you before then, I'll see you at nine tomorrow morning."

"Thanks."

The hallway was a nice reprieve from the stuffiness of the suite Cap was staying in. Though it was by no means a small room, she felt the walls closing in on her. She appreciated the air in the hallway outside the Captain's room. Gently, she reached up to the microphone on the lapel of her jacket and pressed down on the tiny button. "Comming Agent Benjamin, it's Agent Baker."

Sophia's voice cut through her headset almost immediately. "_Agent Benjamin_," she said as way of greeting. "_Everything okay?_"

"Are you available to meet me on the seventh floor?" Katherine asked after pressing the button on the microphone once more. She felt her feet moving towards the elevator but didn't truly process the movement.

"_Rodger that. Or should I say _Captain_ Rogers that._"

"Don't be cute."

"_Impossible. Be there in two._"

The elevator doors opened and Katherine stepped inside the elevator. She quickly pressed the seventh floor button and watched the doors close in front of her face. When she was met with her reflection, she stared at herself in the slightly distorted metal. Austria had changed a lot of things about Katherine mentally, but she'd never really considered the physical change her last field assignment had bestowed upon her. She was thinner in the hips, but not in the way she'd always wanted to be. It looked like her shirt was two sizes too big, and there was a lack of muscle in her waist that was a surprise, since she'd always managed to stay in shape. Then there was the ever-present bags underneath her eyes, a culmination of never sleeping enough and nightmares haunting her even when she managed to get some shut eye. Katherine stared at her reflection up until the doors opened once more, and she found herself relieved that she no longer had to look at herself in the doors.

Sophia showed up quicker than Katherine expected. "What's up?" she asked conversationally. "Do I need to kick Cap's ass?"

"No," Katherine sighed out, pulling her own room key out of her jacket pocket, keying in and watching the door to her quarters open. Sophia didn't need inviting in, considering she spent a lot of her time in Katherine's room, and made herself comfortable on Katherine's couch. "I need help packing."

"Packing? Where the hell are you going?"

"Wilmington, Delaware." At Sophia's confused glance, Katherine elaborated. "Fury decided that I would be going to Wilmington for six months to live with Captain Rogers in a safe house there. And then proceeded to tell me when I looked shocked that because I wasn't a field agent, he could technically order me to do this."

"What the actual fuck," Sophia mumbled under her breath, looking scandalized. "What the fuck am I supposed to do without you here? Talk to _Sadie_?" Katherine shrugged, reaching up in her closet and grabbing a suitcase, throwing it back down onto her bed with a little too much force. "And I like Sharon and all, but I'd just end up fangirling over her aunt and you know how I get when I talk about Peggy Carter."

"I tried to argue, but he's right. I'm not a field agent anymore. Do me a favor and look up the average temperatures in Wilmington from now to May?" Sophia immediately pulled her phone out of her back pocket and typed something into the screen.

"Forties now through February, fifties in March, sixties in April, seventies in May. I'd say pack for a different range of weather. Definitely some heavy coats, but some thin blazers too. Oh, I could lend you a leather jacket!"

"I don't do leather jackets. They're unprofessional."

"I know. Why do you think I wear them? A big fuck off to the system."

"Fuck off to the system that pays you?"

"Precisely. Pack at least two nice dresses, as well. In case Cap happens to want to go out to a fancy dinner. I assume Fury's loaded him up with every piece of clothing known to man, so he'll definitely be prepared." Katherine would have argued had she not been stressed about the late notice of this little trip. She knew she and Captain Rogers wouldn't have the chance to leave the safe house to go to a fancy restaurant, so a nice dress wasn't necessary. Not wanting to deal with Sophia, however, she threw in a pretty navy silk dress that fell to her shins. "Heels too," Sophia decided. Katherine rolled her eyes, but threw simple black pumps in her suitcase. After the dress and heels went the jackets for the winter months, and some blazers for the spring. "God your wardrobe is depressing. Do you own any color, at all?"

"I'm going to be stuck with a man who has been frozen for seventy years," Katherine deadpanned, "and I doubt he'll care if I'm wearing black or red."

"Logically I know you're right, but seeing all this black and khaki colored fabric is giving me a headache. Stop buying neutrals."

Katherine raised a brow at Sophia's dark brown leather jacket, denim jeans, and black combat boots. "Are you serious?"

In retaliation, Sophia opened up her jacket wider to reveal a maroon shirt. "I've got some color. Plus, I've got that red leather jacket hiding somewhere in my closet."

"Stop discussing my wardrobe and call out some toiletry essentials," Katherine requested, walking to her bathroom with a smaller bag in hand. From there, she listened as Sophia called out the basics. Deodorant, toothbrush, tampons, hairbrush. Katherine didn't even process the things she was putting in her bag, methodically going through the motions of simply making sure she had everything. "I think I'm done."

"Sexy lingerie?" Sophia asked with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

"Stop hanging out with Romanoff. She's rubbing off on you," Katherine said with a distasteful scrunch of her nose. "That does remind me, though," she muttered to herself, grabbing some underwear and bras from one of her drawers. "Would have been awkward to go without those."

Sophia stood from the couch she was sitting one and sifted through Katherine's bag. "Really? No black lace anything? I'm disappointed." Sophia moved out of the way of Katherine's half-hearted slap and laughed. "Alright, I think you're good to go. Any idea whether or not contact with other agents is out of the question for the next six months?"

"No clue. I'll try and text," she offered simply, giving Sophia a small smile. Sophia was the closest thing to family that she had in this place. When she had been brought in at ten years old, she remembered meeting Sophia's father and wishing with all her might that her father could be there too. Katherine still to this day didn't know what made little nine-year-old Sophia Benjamin walk up to her and ask if she wanted a piece of bubblegum, but she was thankful for it. S.H.I.E.L.D. could have been a lonely place, but Sophia helped dull the solitary aura of the headquarters.

"You better," Sophia mentioned.

Katherine opened her mouth to say something, anything, but suddenly there was a distinct buzzing noise in her ear. "_Um... Agent Baker? I'm pressing and holding, like you said. I accidentally turned the television on in the room and I don't know how to turn it off. If you could come help that would... um... be great._"

"Gotta go?" Sophia guessed by the way Katherine's head cocked in the direction Captain Rogers's voice was coming from. Katherine simply nodded. "Well then, have a good trip. Use protection." This time, she didn't avoid Katherine's slap, and she laughed when Katherine's skin made contact with her. "I meant jacket-wise. It's gonna be in the forties. Get your mind out of the gutter," she teased. "I'll see you soon, yeah?"

"Yeah, see you soon." Katherine waited until Sophia left, then took her suitcase off her bed and put in next to her door. Then, she was off, walking back to the elevator and pressing the button to Steve's floor. She quietly knocked on his door when she got to his room, watching as he opened up the door, revealing his expression to her.

His eyes were rimmed in red, like he'd spent the last hour crying. Her heart immediately went out to him. Waking up in a new century with no one familiar except an elderly woman with Alzheimer's couldn't have been easy. Especially for Captain America, the world's first true superhero. He was tensed, like he was waiting for her to notice the unshed tears in his eyes, but she simply sent him a small smile and stepped aside his body, shoulder lightly brushing his chest as she moved into the room. He was quiet as she walked over to the television and held up a remote to him.

"This is a remote control. You can pause, play, forward, and rewind whatever you're watching on the TV with it. You can also turn it off with the remote, so you don't have to get up and do it manually. See this button here?" Katherine held it out to him and he nodded, eyes drinking in the power button she pointed to. Without warning, she pressed down and he jumped a little when the room was suddenly enveloped in silence. "Pretty easy. I could teach you the other functions, if you want. I could put a movie on to help clear your head."

"No thanks," he said softly, shaking his head. "I wouldn't know any of the movies, anyway. I think I'm just gonna head to sleep." He laughed a little, but the shake of it made her believe it wasn't because he found anything funny. "You must think I'm pretty stupid, huh? Not even knowing how to turn a television off."

"I think you're incredibly brave," she argued. "Cap, no one's blaming you for not knowing how this century works. I think you're handling it really well, actually. I would be having a panic attack right about now." He gave her a small smile. "Plus, that's what these next six months are for, right? I'll teach you all you need to know."

His smile was minuscule, but it was there. And for a moment, neither one of them was Captain America or Silhouette. In that moment, it was only Steve Rogers, Katherine Baker, and six months of recovery ahead of them.


	3. Chapter Two

Katherine Baker was actually alright with mornings. Sophia Benjamin, however, didn't like to get up out of bed until at least noon. Which made standing there with Sophia at 8:45 in the morning disastrous.

"Why did Fury want you to leave so early?" Sophia asked. She had her sunglasses on, looking more or less hungover even though Katherine knew she only did her heavy drinking on Saturdays. Since it was Tuesday morning, Katherine was accounting the glasses for their actual purpose of blocking Sophia's eyes form the sun and not protecting her head from the headache the sun brought after a night of alcohol. "And why the hell did I agree to see you off? We said goodbye yesterday, didn't we? That was the only necessary goodbye. I didn't need to go through it again this morning."

"You know, talking incessantly might make the morning even worse for you," Katherine noted offhandedly. She saw the corners of Cap's lips turn up as he heard the small jab directed towards Sophia. He was standing next to the two, suitcase at his feet and ready to go. Someone had obviously shown him the coffee maker (and offered to make it for him because she doubted he operated it himself), because he had a cup in his hand and took the occasional sip from it. Sophia had barreled outside with two coffee cups in hand ten minutes prior, so Katherine had a steaming cup keeping her fingers warm.

Sophia didn't grace her with a response, simply lifting her own coffee cup to her lips. She'd been even more comatose that morning when she'd introduced herself to Captain Rogers with a lazy handshake and a quiet muttering of her name. He'd hung back while Sophia walked them out to the plane Fury had arranged to pick them up. Katherine could see his eyes drinking in the sight of the two friends. Katherine knew he was filing away information about the two of them by the way they interacted. It was something she'd seen soldiers do. He was analyzing Katherine and Sophia's body language to decide if they were a threat or not.

"We're ready for you, Cap," the pilot said, giving the Captain a big smile. Rumors had been circulating around the S.H.I.E.L.D. base ever since he had woken up from his somewhat-coma, rumors about where he had gone and secret HYDRA bases he must have destroyed that history books didn't know about. Katherine narrowed her eyes at the pilot. "I've got to say it, sir. I'm a huge fan. I mean, all you did for this country? It's amazing."

"Thank you," Cap replied uncomfortably. Katherine had already filed away the small fact that he didn't like praise. She supposed he felt like it had been his duty to fight for the country and that anyone thanking him didn't understand. She could relate, but only a little. She couldn't even imagine how he felt. "I appreciate the support."

"Can I get a picture?" the pilot asked. Katherine's eyes narrowed even further into an icy glare. She was fully prepared to say something in Cap's defense, especially when she saw him tense up just slightly, but Sophia had easily read Cap's emotions and came to his defense before Katherine had the chance.

"Hey, he's a human being, not a fucking museum exhibit. Go get ready to fly their plane, dipshit."

The pilot had the decency to look embarrassed, his cheeks coloring before he stuttered out a response and fumbled in his haste to get away from Sophia and on the plane. Katherine couldn't help the smile that came to her lips and the laugh that snuck out. Captain Rogers had a small blush forming on his cheeks, from Sophia's defense of him or Sophia's language Katherine wasn't sure. He came from a time where talking like that in front of a lady was frowned upon, and he'd woken up in a time where women swore like sailors and didn't try to hide it anymore. "I doubt he'll even look in Captain Rogers's direction for the duration of the flight," Katherine mentioned. Sophia shrugged, looking wildly unconcerned as she took another sip of her coffee.

"His problem, not mine." Then, her face fell a little. "Are you sure you have to be gone for six months?"

"Fury's orders."

"Yeah. Worth a shot," she mumbled before flinging her arm around Katherine's body, hugging her close. "Call if you need anything. I've never been to Delaware before." Katherine smiled sadly and hugged Sophia even closer, if that was possible. In her weeks of watching Captain Rogers, and even before that, Sophia had been the only person to get Katherine's mind off that day in Austria. Sophia released Katherine and raised her cup in the Captain's direction. "Captain Rogers, have a safe flight. Take care of Katherine, yeah? She's plenty self-sufficient but I feel better requesting it."

"I'll do my best," Cap said politely. "It was nice meeting you, Agent Benjamin. Thanks for... well, thanks for earlier," he said, and a small amount of pink appeared on his cheeks again at the memory.

"Anytime. See you soon, punk," she said, jamming her elbow in Katherine's ribs before taking a step back. Katherine rolled her eyes before letting out a sigh and beginning the ascent up the stairs to the cabin of the plane. She couldn't see the pilot anywhere in sight, which brought a small smile to her lips as she took a seat, setting her coffee down in the cup holder next to her. Captain Rogers followed her inside, choosing the seat across from her. She didn't have the energy to tell him that usually people in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s planes sat as far away from each other as possible, and she didn't particularly care that he was so close, so she ignored it.

The tugging of the plane as it pulled back used to scare her, but after so many years with S.H.I.E.L.D., she was used to it. She could see Captain Rogers's fingers tighten where he had them rested on his knee, but that was the only reaction she could see. Then, they were taking off, lifting from the ground and leaving Sophia nothing more than a speck in the distance. Katherine tried not to feel lonely, watching her best friend fade into the distance, but it was more difficult than she'd anticipated. After months and months of having Sophia conveniently close, it felt like a small part of Katherine was being left behind.

"You guys remind me of how Bucky and I used to be," Captain Rogers said faintly after about ten minutes of silence. Katherine lifted her eyes to look at him. His fingers had completely loosened from their grip and he was sitting as relaxed as ever in his seat, as if flying didn't affect him.

She was surprised he had taken the initiative and started conversation. Still, even through her surprise, she tried to smile politely. "Am I the Bucky or Captain Rogers in this situation?" she joked.

He shrugged. "I don't know. It just reminded me." There was that sadness in his eyes again, clouding over the blue and making him look at least ten years older. She immediately regret asking the question. The two lapsed into silence again, Katherine staring out the window and wishing the plane ride would fly by so she could hide herself in whatever room Fury had set up for her. She was fully expecting Captain Rogers not to talk to her again, so it surprised her when he cleared his throat quietly. "I can't place your accent. Where are you from?"

She gave him a tight smile. Though her accent wasn't as pronounced as it had been when she was first taken under Fury's wing, it was still easy to tell that she wasn't from America. "I was born in Stockholm," she responded and try as she may, she couldn't keep the bitterness out of her tone. She hadn't been back to Sweden since the day her family had been murdered. She always wanted to visit their graves but could never bring herself to buy a plane ticket. There was a part of her that didn't want to see them buried in the ground. Knowing they were gone and seeing it written in stone were two very different things. "I moved here when I was ten."

"And how long have you worked with S.H.I.E.L.D.?" he asked. She appreciated that he was trying to keep the conversation going, but this line of topic wasn't one she wanted to venture into.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. saved me," she said instead, leaning back on the seat and clasping her hands on her lap. "I owe them my life."

He seemed to understand he wasn't going to get anymore answers about the topic, for he nodded solemnly and stared out the window. It was silent again for a significant amount of time, the only noise surrounding them being the buzzing of the plane. "Agent Baker... can I ask what happened to Annie?"

Katherine should have expected it. It was common knowledge that Steve Rogers had two best friends during his time in the war. While the most obvious was Bucky Barnes, who had died while falling off a train, the other had been a pretty nurse who Steve and Bucky had met when they were teenagers. All of this information could be found in a common history book, but what _couldn't_ be found was the fact that while Steve Rogers had been found in the ice, Annie Cohen hadn't been. If she were being honest with herself, she was surprised she hadn't been brought up yet.

"We didn't find her in the ice," Katherine answered slowly, solemnly. "There wasn't any history on HYDRA operating on her like Erskine did with you so—"

"You don't think she made it," he concluded softly, interrupting Katherine's rambling with a short and blunt sentence.

Katherine slowly shook her head. "Howard Stark never stopped looking for her. He actually bought her a headstone. There's no body there, but it's in Brooklyn. We can... we can go back and visit her, if you want. When we get back." Again, she felt sorry for him. Though she'd lost all her family, she had family in the form of Sophia and her other coworkers. Captain Rogers had no one. Bucky Barnes was dead. Annie Cohen was dead. Howard Stark was dead.

He didn't say anything, but he nodded at her to acknowledge that he had at least heard her sentiments. They retreated back into comfortable silence, Katherine sighing every once in a while. It was going to be a long plane ride. Standing from her seat suddenly and walking to the cabinet that held all the movies S.H.I.E.L.D. stocked, she grabbed the movie _Pearl Harbor_, figuring it would be her best choice since it was set during the second World War. "Want to watch a movie to make the time pass?" she questioned, holding up the case. His eyes barely scanned over the promo photo on the front of it before nodding, seemingly as interested in a distraction as she was.

It was all too easy to put the movie in the small drive made for the screen across from them. When the movie started, Katherine leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. This wasn't one of her favorite movies, but she could put up with it for the Captain's sake.

"You can sleep if you want to," Captain Rogers said quietly, as if speaking in a normal volume would rouse her from the edge of sleep. Katherine wanted to laugh.

"I don't sleep well on planes." She didn't sleep well _anywhere_, but especially on planes. The day Fury had found her, he'd brought her back to the plane and she'd fallen asleep almost immediately, her tears serving as a lullaby. She'd woken to the loud noise of the engine outside and had started screaming, thinking the bad guys were back to take her, finish her off like they had her parents. "You can sleep if you want to," she parroted, repeating the phrase back to him. If he fell asleep, she wouldn't feel the need to keep up with conversation. It wasn't that she minded talking to him. It just felt forced.

"I'm fine," he said, giving her a small smile. That was the only explanation she received as he turned his attention to the screen. She noticed the difference within their postures immediately. While she was leaning back and relaxing into the plane's seats, he was still straight and rigid, as if ready to dart in front of a bomb or bullet at any given moment. It wasn't just the posture of a soldier. It was the posture of a man who had grown up with beating after beating, always prepared for the next attack. It was a look she recognized in most of the field agents at S.H.I.E.L.D. When she had still been a field agent, she had a similar posture. "Have you been to Delaware?"

His question caught her off guard and she turned her head to look at him. His eyes were politely diverted away from the screen and on her instead. "Um, no I haven't." She didn't bother asking if he had been. When would he have had the time, being frozen for seventy years? He simply nodded.

More silence.

Katherine was relieved when their pilot's voice filtered through the cabin, announcing that they were going to be arriving shortly. Even though it had only been about an hour flight, it was an hour spent in tense and uncomfortable silence for seventy-five percent of the time and she was happy to get off the plane. They landed smoothly, Katherine grabbing her bag immediately as soon as the pilot cleared them to stand. After shooting a quick text to Sophia to tell her that they'd made it there safely, a big black car pulled up to take the pair to their home for the next six months. The driver rolled down the window and Katherine gave him a small smile. "Morning Lionel. You get some coffee for this early morning trip?"

Lionel was a regular driver for S.H.I.E.L.D. Katherine had gotten to know him when she had been a field agent, and he'd been the one to drive her back to Headquarters when she'd landed after Austria. He was an older man of about fifty-four, had three kids, and ten grandkids. His wife had passed away of cancer, but he was proud of her. He showed Katherine pictures often. "Good morning Agent Baker," he said happily, then held up his cup as evidence of his caffeine.

She clicked her tongue. "Come on Lionel, you know it's Katherine. Pop the trunk?" She asked. Lionel got out of the car and took her bag in his hand, placing it gently in the trunk of the car. He did the same with the Captain's bags. "Lionel, this is Captain Rogers. Captain, this is Lionel. He's an official driver for S.H.I.E.L.D." Katherine tried to send a look in Cap's direction to let him know Lionel was one of the good ones.

"It's nice to meet you, sir," Captain Rogers said, holding out his hand for a shake.

"You as well. Thanks for all your service," Lionel said happily, accepting the handshake Cap offered. "You riding up front, Katherine?" he asked then, walking around to the passenger side and opening up the door so Katherine could slide in.

"As long as you show me those new pictures of Lily's new baby. I know you've got them."

Lionel laughed and closed the door once Katherine dropped into the passenger seat. "I'll go on and on about the baby, you know that." He walked around to the other side and opened the back door for Captain Rogers, who smiled at him thankfully before shutting the door. "I'll show him off before we get driving," Lionel mentioned, pulling out his phone and pulling up a picture of his newest grandson. "Meet Scott," he said, sliding the phone over to Katherine.

Katherine nearly swooned. Though the idea of having kids was terrifying to her, she could still appreciate the cuteness of them. "He looks so sweet, Lionel. Congrats, grandpa."

Lionel grinned and put his phone back in his pocket before starting the ignition back up. "Alright, let's get you to the safe house." He checked all his mirrors and waved to the pilot before pulling out of the landing zone and getting on the main freeway. "I'm going to be your driver while we're here. You aren't confined to the house, per say, but Fury would prefer if you stayed in there most of the time. I'm going grocery shopping every Sunday, so if you need anything just write it down on the list."

"I appreciate it, Lionel." Katherine hated that it wouldn't be easy to leave the house, but she understood why.

The drive was shorter than she'd expected. It seemed like they were in the car for only about six minutes before Lionel was pulling up to the safe house S.H.I.E.L.D. owned. Katherine had never been to this particular safe house, but it looked the same as the others. Neutral, big, and nondescript. Lionel dragged the car to a stop and turned the ignition off, giving Katherine a small smile before he was getting out and opening up the back door for Steve. While she was in the car by herself, she stared at the house, willing it to change her mind about this whole endeavor, as if it had magical powers.

"Katherine?" Lionel's voice rang through her ears. When her eyes focused once more, she realized he had opened her door and was waiting for her to get out. She sent him a grateful smile when he held out his hand to help her, gripping onto it and propelling herself from the front seat. "I'll give you guys a tour when we get inside. It's got all the amenities, and a home gym." He probably assumed the super soldier needed to know this information. Katherine figured Lionel was probably right. In the small period after Austria but before Captain Rogers had been found, Katherine had practically lived in the training compound S.H.I.E.L.D., foolishly believing that hitting a punching bag could get rid of the nightmares that plagued her at night. After waking up after seventy years in ice, Katherine figured the Captain might be visiting the home gym more often than not.

Lionel walked the two of them to the front door. Instead of a key, there was a touchpad next to the doorbell, where Lionel punched in the code _1945_. Katherine nearly snorted. Conspicuous of Fury to make the year the war ended the key code. The door slid open with a small clicking sound and Lionel let Katherine walk in first, her eyes surveying the foyer. It was a standard layout, not too complicated to understand. She could see the kitchen from the entrance, and immediately set her bag down to walk towards it. She could hear the two men following behind her slowly as she opened up the fridge, surveying its contents. There was a package of sliced cheese, bread, butter, and a half empty carton of milk. "You might want to make that list sooner rather than later," Lionel advised, giving her a small smile.

"Will do," she said, making a mental reminder to make the three of them grilled cheeses for lunch before Lionel swept his hand towards the living room, as if to indicate he was going to give them a tour.

"The living room," Lionel said, pausing for the two to walk into the room, "and you can find the Internet key on the side of the television." It was another practical setup. A long couch, a loveseat of the same material, a coffee table, and a sturdy looking TV stand with a screen on top. "There's two rooms and a bathroom upstairs, and two rooms and a bathroom downstairs."

"I'll take a downstairs room," Captain Rogers said almost immediately. When Katherine raised a brow, he gave her a blank look. "So I can be near the door if anyone comes in." _Huh_, Katherine thought. _Practical answer_. "You can take one of the upstairs rooms if you'd like," he said.

Katherine didn't want to tell him that she couldn't take an upstairs room because she still felt the smoke and debris from the day she'd found her family dead in their house. Now, she had to be on the bottom level of wherever she stayed. It was often hard, especially when she was put in hotel rooms, but a little extra cash and usually people were willing to accommodate. She wanted Captain Rogers to feel comfortable and feel like he had the whole floor to himself, but this was one thing that he couldn't negotiate her out of.

"I have to be near a door too," she said vaguely, but let out a breath of relief when he nodded in understanding. "We'll go put our stuff down and then start making a grocery list. Lionel, we have ingredients to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Want one?"

Lionel had tasted Katherine's cooking only once, but he seemed to remember it, for he nodded enthusiastically. He made himself at home, sitting at one of the barstools as Katherine grabbed her bags and made her way down the lower level hallway. She assumed Captain Rogers followed behind her because she could hear his footsteps, heavy enough to let her know he was present but light enough to suggest he had experience sneaking into places in the war.

The first room was a cream color, with a basic matching headboard, dresser, and television stand of what looked like dark oak wood. The bed looked like it belonged in a hotel room, impersonal in its beige and white comforter. The bathroom was directly across the hall from this bedroom, and Katherine turned to look at the Captain.

"I can take the upstairs bathroom if you want, since there's only one down here." She watched him open his mouth to argue, some sort of sense of propriety telling him he should let her have it, but she cut him off. "It's the least I can do, really. I'm going to be using the upstairs bathroom anyway, so you can either argue with me and have it be pointless, or just take the downstairs bathroom." She flashed him a small smile to let him know there was no sting behind the statement, but he still frowned.

"If you're sure," he said slowly.

"Positive." The second bedroom was similar in its decor, but the walls were slightly more yellow than the other room and looked like it was a little smaller. "Which room do you want?" she asked.

"If you have to use the upstairs bathroom, I think it's only fair you pick your room."

Katherine gave him a rueful smile, but immediately dropped her bag in the smaller room. She didn't need much space, and the bigger room was closest to his bathroom anyway. She heard him deposit his things in the bigger room before the two of them congregated in the kitchen once more. The Captain sat next to Lionel as Katherine grabbed the To-Do list posted on the side of the fridge and dropped it in front of Lionel. The man, prepared as ever, already had a pen in his pocket. "Captain Rogers, if you have any food requests, you can let Lionel know. I'm going to make some grilled cheese sandwiches."

She didn't hear if the Captain had any requests, for she grabbed the three ingredients out of the fridge and rummaged around in the cupboards underneath the stove until she found a skillet. Buttering the bread, she put down the slices of cheese and prepared five sandwiches, knowing Captain Rogers would probably want at least two. She turned on the stove and used the butter to make sure the bread wouldn't stick. Then, she plopped the first sandwich in the skillet, listening to the hissing sound it made as food hit the flame.

"Grab whatever fruit is in season," Katherine said after a while. "Also, if I grab you some recipes, can you just pick up the ingredients?"

"Sure," Lionel replied, then leaning over to Cap, he whispered, "Katherine's an awesome cook. She'll keep you fat and happy."

The smile on her face was genuine. "That's my goal." She flipped over the sandwich.

It felt oddly... _domestic_. Cooking while Captain America sat at the counter felt like something from a dream. If there was one thing Katherine Baker didn't do well, it was domestic. Since her parents died when she was still a child, she didn't remember what family life was like. She remembered sitting around her dining table in Stockholm, eating and discussing what went on throughout their days. Other than that, she couldn't remember anything else. Maybe it was why she loved to cook so much, because it brought back that sense of familiarity.

Setting the completed sandwich on a plate she found after looking through some cupboards above her head (and having to stand on her toes for a short amount of time before she felt confident that her grip would hold), she slid it towards Lionel. "Dig in," she said as a way of telling him it was done, carefully setting another sandwich in the skillet.

"Where'd you learn to cook like this?" Lionel said after taking a bite of his sandwich. Captain Rogers looked back and forth between them in confusion. Katherine imagined why he was questioning Lionel's surprise. He came from a time where it was basically the woman's job to cook. She was sure he was pretty progressive in the treatment of women, but she could understand the culture shock.

"Gender roles have changed a lot over the last couple decades," she said to Captain Rogers as she flipped the second sandwich over. "Women have a lot more autonomy and aren't really confined to the kitchen or house anymore."

He looked chagrined, like he had done something to offend her. "I'm sorry, Agent Baker. I didn't mean to—"

She cut him off with a smile. "I wasn't saying it because you offended me. I'm just letting you know." She plated the second sandwich and started on the third one. "Trust me, if you offend me, I'll let you know. And try to keep in mind that you probably didn't mean it." Sending him a small smile to take away some of the sting of her statement, she watched him nod.

"I appreciate it. I guess you've got a lot to teach me."

That was another thing. Katherine had no idea where to even start. How would she explain the Internet? Netflix? The things she took for granted she was suddenly being forced to explain. She flipped over the third sandwich in silence, listening to the sounds of Lionel eating the rest of his grilled cheese. Katherine plated the third one and slid it over to the Captain, giving him another small smile before she started on her own sandwich.

"I'm staying in another safe house we have nearby. I'm going to unload my stuff and then come back to grab that grocery list from you. I'll see you later. It was nice to meet you, Captain Rogers." Lionel shook the Captain's hand, but stepped around the counter to give Katherine a big hug. "Don't burn the house down."

"Shut up," she said playfully, hugging him back before she let her arms fall back down as she flipped her sandwich over. "Thank you again, Lionel. I'm glad it's you babysitting us for the next six months."

"Katherine," he chastised, clicking his tongue, "don't think of it as babysitting. We're keeping you guys safe."

Katherine didn't bother replying. It was most definitely babysitting. The Captain had just woken up, who was going to be an enemy to him in this time that wasn't already dead? And her enemies had long since been dead, especially after her trip to Austria. She waved Lionel off, watching him head out the front door and listening to the sound of the key pad locking the door. "So Captain," she said to fill the sudden silence with sound, "what are some of your favorite meals? I can cook mostly everything."

He looked surprised, as if she wasn't going to take him into account when she sent Lionel out for food. "I don't suppose you can make a Coney Island hot dog?" he said quietly, but the joke was enough to have Katherine laugh.

"Coney Island worthy, unfortunately not, but I can make hot dogs."

His eyes lightened as he found another topic they could talk about. "So you've been to Coney Island?" Katherine had only been twice, but he looked so happy that there was something he understood and knew that she didn't have the heart to tell him that. Instead, she simply nodded and slid the grocery pad closer to her. She wrote down the ingredients for hot dogs and her homemade macaroni and cheese, figuring the two went together pretty well. "Did you... did you ride the Cyclone?"

She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. In reality, she hadn't gotten _off _the Cyclone. The first time she'd been to Coney Island had been a trip when she was nine, back when she thought New York was the coolest place to ever exist. Tall enough to ride thanks to a growth spurt that randomly hit, she had ridden it with her father while her mother stayed back with her little brother. He hadn't stopped complaining that Katherine had gotten to ride it and he hadn't. She remembered being mean about it, as older siblings were, sticking out her tongue at him and making fun because he was still too young.

He had died less than a year later.

The next time she had gone was with Sophia and her family. But while Sophia and her parents had walked around to take in all the sights of Coney Island, Katherine had stayed near the Cyclone, getting in and out of line. She'd probably ridden it fifteen times before the emotions she felt were enough to have her sitting on a bench with her arms wrapped around her knees. He'd wanted to ride it. He'd wanted to ride it, and she'd made fun of him. It was funny, the things someone wished they could take back.

"Yeah, I've ridden the Cyclone." She didn't say anything else about Coney Island, instead jotting down the ingredients she'd need. "Want to do a pizza night? What toppings do you like?"

He seemed surprised at the change in topic, but he recovered pretty quickly. "I just do cheese and pepperoni."

"You have a boring taste in pizza," she mentioned, smiling at him to let him know she didn't mean it in a bad way. Nevertheless, she jotted down his request and added a couple more ingredients that she'd add to her pizza. "Breakfast foods?"

"No offense, Agent Baker, but I haven't really had the chance to figure out what food I like to eat. At home and in the war, food was given to me and I ate it."

She could have slapped herself for being so stupid. "Right," she managed to breathe out, simply writing down the basic breakfast staples. He could pick and choose what he liked. "Sorry," she whispered softly, not raising her face so he wouldn't see the look there and start feeling guilty. It was quiet between them for another few moments, the only sound being the scratch of the pen on the pad of paper. Once she was done writing down everything she'd need for their meals, she put the grilled cheese ingredients away, filling the skillet with soap and depositing it in the sink.

"Let me do the dishes," Captain Rogers said, standing from the barstool and making his way around to her side of the sink. Before she could protest, he sent her a small smile. "It's the least I can do. Lunch was great."

"Alright," Katherine acquiesced reluctantly, stepping away from the sink and making her way to her room. Her shoes padded down the hallway until she was standing in her room for the next six months. Toeing off her shoes, she set them in the corner of the room before lugging her suitcase onto the bed. Sophia would be making fun of her if she were here, poking fun at the way Katherine "_had to unpack within thirty minutes or she'd explode_." A small smile crossed Katherine's face as she thought of Sophia's expression, shocked and disgusted, like it always was when Katherine did something Sophia never did. Like unpack early or eat dinner before dessert. In most ways, Sophia was immature like a child, but she balanced out Katherine's maturity well. And she was Katherine's best friend.

As if Sophia could hear her thoughts, her phone buzzed. Katherine's eyes roamed over the text. _**My mom is mad you didn't say goodbye to her. A call is in your future**_**.**

And if there was one thing about Sophia that Katherine loved the most, it was that Sophia had opened her family to Katherine. After being on her own since ten years old, it was hard at first to interact with Sophia's parents. She was the quiet, weird kid that lived at S.H.I.E.L.D. She'd seen Sophia's father around the building, but she hadn't given him a second thought because surely, _no one would want her in their house_. But then Sophia's mother had leaned over and given Katherine the biggest hug she'd received since her mother's death. "We adopted Sophia, _mija_, we have no problem taking in another child."

Katherine had cried into Wendy's shoulder for thirty minutes straight, hugging her with the grip of a lost child.

She smiled down at the text message, quickly typing out a reply. _Tell her I'm sorry and that I'll call her soon. Boring at S.H.I.E.L.D. without me?_

_**Sharon is trying to take your place as best friend. She's cornered me three different times.**_

Katherine grinned and tossed her phone onto the bed, beginning the process of taking out all her clothes from her suitcase. She hung her shirts, folded her pants and transferred them to the dresser, and deposited all her socks and undergarments in the top drawer of the dresser. She faintly heard the sound of the front door opening with Lionel's return, but she ignored it in favor of getting her suitcase situated and off her bed. Grabbing the bag of toiletries she had brought, she left the room and made her way past the kitchen, sending an absentminded wave to Lionel before heading towards the stairs. The bathroom was the first door she saw, so she pushed the door open and rearranged her toiletries in the cabinets before heading back down the set of stairs.

When she was back in the kitchen, she saw Cap had finished the dishes and was being subjected to photos of Lionel's children and grandchildren. She grinned, moving beside them and clapping Lionel on the shoulder. "Captain Rogers's is going to know all your grandkids' names by the time we're out of here, huh?"

"I don't mind," Captain Rogers said almost immediately, but the longing look on his face said otherwise. As a man who had missed out on having kids and grandkids, Katherine figured he minded a lot more than he was letting on. "They're cute kids."

"That they are," Katherine agreed, ripping off the strip of paper she'd written the grocery list on. "Here you are, Lionel. If you want to stay for dinner tonight, I'm cooking hot dogs and mac 'n' cheese."

"I'll be here. See you guys later." He gave another affectionate hug to Katherine before he was out the door again, making Katherine sigh.

"He seems nice," Captain Rogers said softly. "His grandkids are cute. Do you see them much?"

"Usually only for holidays. I try to visit for Christmas and stuff. His son's around my age, so we keep in touch. He's got the twins, Serena and Kristen."

"And what about his wife?"

Katherine frowned. "She actually... she passed away a couple years ago. Cancer." Though she had only met Lionel's wife twice, she was a kind woman that Katherine had been sad to see go. Her kids loved her in such an obvious way that it made Katherine's chest ache. "She was incredible though. I only met her a couple times, but she was one of those people that took all kids under her wing, you know?"

"Bucky's mom was like that," Captain Rogers agreed, nodding his head, "Annie too. The first time Buck and I met Annie, she demanded I put warmer clothes on and then sent us on our way with soup." He chuckled, remembering the ghosts of his past. "And then when she met Howard, the most stubborn guy on the planet, they were like fire and gasoline." His smile faded, most likely because of all that he'd lost.

"I've heard stories about them all growing up. It's hard not to, in S.H.I.E.L.D. They all sound like incredible people."

"Yeah," he replied quietly, good mood apparently gone.

The two of them sat in the kitchen for at least five minutes, just remembering. It was oddly cathartic, standing with someone with such a different life experience than her, but knowing pain was pain across the board. "So," she said suddenly, cutting into their depressive staring with a forced smile, "one of the great inventions of my time is Netflix. It's sort of like this place where you can find a bunch of movies and shows to watch. They call those streaming services. I'm going to go put on a movie. Feel free to watch it with me, if you want."

She didn't wait for his reply, simply moving into the living room and grabbing the remote to the television. Though she wasn't sure what movie she was choosing, she just wanted something to fill the silence that had been left by them both. Clicking on a random movie, she leaned against the couch pillows and stared at the screen, feeling more exhausted than she ever had in her life.

The couch dipped when he sat beside her, a polite five feet between them. They didn't talk. They didn't have to. They just watched the movie in more silence. She wasn't sure if he even understood it, but he didn't seem to want to. It was a distraction for him, just like it was for her.

When Lionel returned with groceries, their dinner was spent in relative silence.


	4. Chapter Three

Living with one of America's greatest history heroes was rather... _boring_.

So afraid that she'd offend him in some way, shape, or form, she generally stayed out of his way. She always lingered close by in case he had a question or needed help with something, but for the most part she stayed on her side of the room and he stayed on his. He was polite enough, always opening doors first or letting her walk ahead of him if they happened to come out of their rooms at the same time. Katherine was the designated cook, and Captain Rogers had taken it upon himself to do the dishes every time she did. Sometimes Lionel joined them for meals, sometimes he didn't.

Mostly, it was just quiet.

Katherine was used to Sophia, her raunchy jokes and loud laughter. She was used to Wendy calling Sophia her _mija_ and giving Katherine big, warm hugs whenever Katherine visited. And she was used to Timothy absentmindedly kissing both Sophia and Katherine on their foreheads when he got home from work. Katherine was used to her little makeshift family. Going from that to just Captain Rogers and occasionally Lionel was a shift she hadn't been expecting to have trouble with, but undoubtedly was.

And when Katherine Baker was having trouble, her solution was to punch it away.

After a round of nightmare that had woken her up at about three thirty, she found herself unable to fall back asleep. She remembered Lionel mentioning something about a home gym, but she hadn't visited it yet in fear of walking in on Captain Rogers and disrupting any routine he had. However, at three thirty in the morning, she figured she was probably okay to explore the gym. After changing into clothes more suitable for working out, she quietly left the confines of her room and tiptoed to the home gym, careful not to make too much noise as she passed Captain Rogers's room.

The gym was pretty standard. There was a treadmill and elliptical on the furthest corner of the room, but they were facing away from the door and the idea of someone walking in on her while she was distracted made her blood pump in her veins a little faster with anxiety. The wall to the right of the treadmill and elliptical had a row of weights set up, as well as a couple weight-lifting machines. But Katherine didn't feel like lifting weights at three thirty in the morning. Her answer was closest to the door, hung up with a lone pair of gloves.

When she had been introduced to S.H.I.E.L.D. and Fury was still trying to build up her strength through training, she had lost count of how many times she had been in the corner of the training area with the punching bag, hitting and punching the bag until she was numb enough not to feel anything. And when she was fully trained, she still found herself going back to the bag, hitting away all her frustrations and nightmares. It was a comfort to realize, as she hit the bag now, that that feeling of release hadn't left in the months since she'd been in a training center.

She gave small punches at first, trying to work off the last few traces of sleep that plagued her. As she thought about the nightmare that woke her up in the first place, her punches got harder and her breath came in faster pants from her mouth. The nightmares were always the same. That hotel room, being downstairs in the lobby and hearing the bellhop scream that the top floor had been bombed. Katherine shook her head, trying to rid herself of the memory as she punched the bag a couple more times, her hands flying faster. She welcomed the distracting sound of her hands hitting the bag, echoing through the gym as the moon shone through the window near the weights.

"_That kid's an orphan now, Coulson._"

Katherine could feel the sweat start to pool around her brow and on her collarbone. She moved her hair out of her eyes and hit the bag harder, letting little grunts of aggression and anger escape as her hands flew in front of her.

"_What do you recommend we do, sir?_"

Katherine stopped punching only to throw her hair up in a messy ponytail. The hair on the back of her neck stuck there with her sweat, but she didn't pay it more attention than she needed. She hit the bag once, twice, three times until she lost count. All she could focus on was the sound of her fists against the punching bag and the sound of her heart beating furiously in her chest.

"_Take her into S.H.I.E.L.D._"

So deep into her own thoughts, she didn't hear the hesitant footsteps making their way into the home gym. She wasn't aware of Captain Rogers until she took a tiny break between punches and he cleared his throat, which made her jump and hold up her hands in a defensive position, gloves at the ready to punch him if she needed to. Though, she doubted what good it would do to someone enhanced like him. He held up his hands in the universal "I mean no harm" position, palms outstretched towards her as his eyebrows furrowed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just heard you up and…" he trailed off, dropping his hands when Katherine did.

"Sorry," she parroted, dropping her hands to her sides and giving herself a couple of minutes to take a breather, "did I wake you up?"

He gave her a rueful smile. "Hard to wake up someone who never fell asleep."

She hummed thoughtfully in response before undoing the velcro holding the gloves to her hands. "I guess I should be taking a break anyway." A quick glance at the clock in the corner of the room told her she'd already been in there for nearly two hours. Putting the gloves back where she found them, she made her way to the door of the home gym and heard Captain Rogers's footsteps following behind her back to the living room. "Let me take a shower real quick and then I can make us breakfast."

"Let me make breakfast," Cap replied, smiling a little when Katherine raised a brow. "Despite what you may think, I know how to scramble some eggs and cook some bacon."

Katherine kept her brow raised, but gave him a soft smile. "There's some tortillas and cheese in there, we can make breakfast burritos. I'll be out in about twenty minutes."

He nodded, eyes lighting up. She figured he liked being given tasks. His entire life pre-freeze had been spent serving others, whether it was simply being kind as pre-serum Captain Rogers or serving the military as one of America's greatest heroes. Leaving him with breakfast, she made her way upstairs to the bathroom she had claimed as hers. Lionel had bought standard body wash, so she scrubbed herself with the clean, lemony smelling scrub and washed her hair, letting the shampoo drip down her back as she put her head under the water. Her hands were slightly sore from the lack of boxing in the past couple months, but she felt energized.

Once she was done cleansing the evidence of her workout, she turned the shower head off and stepped out, wrapping herself in a fluffy towel. The condensation on the mirror made it impossible to see herself, and for that she was grateful. She didn't want to see the dark circles underneath her eyes due to her lack of sleep the night before. She always slept bad the first night away from S.H.I.E.L.D. but last night had been even worse and she knew her eyes were suffering the consequences. Katherine quickly combed through her wet hair, leaving it down to dry as she switched out her towel for a clean tee and dark jeans.

Her feet padded on the steps as she walked back down the stairs, spotting Captain Rogers halfway through putting together a burrito. It looked messy, but surprisingly good. He looked up when he heard her enter and gave her a small smile. "I doubt it'll be as good as your food, but I managed."

"It looks great," she said, finding that she didn't even have to lie to him as she sat at the barstool and pulled her plate closer. "Could you just grab the salsa out of the fridge?"

"You eat salsa on your breakfast burritos?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow but obliging her request. She carefully unfolded the sides of the tortilla and poured a generous amount on the eggs and bacon inside before wrapping it back up.

"It's good. You should try some. If you want to, that is."

He gave the salsa an uncertain look but decided to trust her. He poured a lot less than she had, just to test the waters, and folded his burrito back up. Katherine's eyes watched his face as he took a bite, smiling when he awarded her with a nod of approval. "You're right. It's great."

"I'm glad you like it." She took another bite of her own before she set it back down on the plate. "I was thinking today we could watch some documentaries on the major events of the past couple decades. Get you caught up on some history."

He shrugged, back to being silent as he finished up his burrito. Katherine wanted to groan in frustration. Normally she liked being the one to make decisions, but she was trying to get him situated and knowing what he wanted and preferred to do would be helpful. Things were quiet between them again as Katherine finished up her meal, awkwardly standing from the chair and tossing her plate in the dishwasher. He moved to allow her room but didn't comment on her idea again.

She figured he had already been debriefed enough on the end of the war, so a good place to start would be the early fifties. She wanted something lighthearted, nothing that would trigger any bad reactions or anxiety. As she scrolled through every streaming service she could think of, she suddenly grinned. "I found a good first documentary. I think you'll like it, if you like Coney Island."

This seemed to get his attention. He raised a brow, throwing his own plate in the dishwasher before he made his way over to the couch. Just like he had been since their first night here, he sat a respectable distance away from her. She didn't mind it, relishing in her own space just like she was sure he was relishing in his. "This is a documentary about one of the most famous amusement parks of all time. It's called Disneyland and it's in California. I've only been once, but it opened in 1955, so I figured it would be a good place to start."

"Disney? Like Mickey Mouse?" He asked, face lighting up a little bit due to him knowing the reference.

Katherine nodded. "The creator of Mickey Mouse, Walt Disney, oversaw the design and creation of this park. It's really cool." She clicked the play button and allowed the Captain to bask in the wonder of Disney.

The documentary started with an overview of Walt's life and the first beginning concepts of the park. Katherine knew the basics, but found herself listening in more than she had expected to. The last time she had been at Disneyland, it had been a girls trip with her mother for Katherine's seventh birthday. It had been the perfect day, spent eating too much food and riding every ride at least twice. She hadn't been back in fear of those memories being corrupted, like Coney Island had been. But it was nice to watch the movie and see the sights she didn't know would still be familiar to her.

Throughout the course of the documentary, she found herself watching the Captain's face to see his reaction. It was nothing short of awestruck. Katherine couldn't help the little smile that formed on her face. He was so appreciative of everything the world had to offer, even the smallest things. It was a trait she could admire. Most people took for granted the little things in life, but not Captain Rogers.

"This is amazing," he mentioned when the documentary was about halfway through. Katherine nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. "And it's still up and running today?"

"Yep. Expensive, though. A ticket goes for about a hundred bucks, give or take." At the Captain's wide eyes, Katherine couldn't suppress the little chuckle. "Pricing has changed a little bit since you went under. I believe a hundred dollars today translates to about eight dollars in the forties, maybe a little less." The Captain let out a small chuckle at that information, but Katherine could see the wheels in his brain working to decode the changing times.

The documentary lasted for about thirty more minutes and then it was over, the credits of the crew rolling. Katherine snuck a glance at her companion, noticing that he was as enthralled with the screen as he had been at the beginning of the movie. "That was incredible. Do you have any others?" Katherine nodded, pulling up the home screen, where all of the apps and streaming services were offered. "What about something you like? Any movies or bands?"

Katherine stopped clicking through the screen. "You want to watch something I like?"

"Well, I figured it would be pretty boring for you to sit through these if you didn't like them," he said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. She could see in his eyes that he was wondering if he had said the right thing.

She found herself unable of speech. It seemed like such a little thing, but it weirdly tugged at her heartstrings. "Thanks," she said softly, "I actually watch a lot of cooking shows. They're usually good background noise for when I need something. I don't watch a ton of movies or anything. I listen to a lot of music, but you'll hear that when I cook. I can't cook in silence. It bothers me." She shrugged, as if it was no big deal. In reality, she just didn't like to hear the sizzling of a pan on the stove. It sounded too much like what she heard the day her family died. She drowned out the noise of her food cooking to whatever music she felt she needed.

"Put one of them on," he suggested, then realized his demand could be received the wrong way. "If you want to. You don't have to." Katherine could help but let a small laugh escape at his words. He was like a skittish animal, worried about offending her every five seconds. Still, she took his advice and put on the first cooking show she saw, not overly interested in it, but watching it for the sake of normalcy.

About ten minutes into the show, she heard the tell-tale sign of the passcode being entered into the front door. Katherine should have told Lionel to just knock. Because suddenly she was flung off the couch, thrown behind Captain Rogers in a protective manner, his right arm outstretched in a defensive position like he was ready to attack Lionel at the door. His left arm was behind him, gripping Katherine's skin so tightly that she knew there would be bruises. If she wasn't so used to harsh training with Natasha and Agent Marilyn Porter, she might have yelled out in pain.

Lionel held up his hands in the universal '_I come in peace_' gesture and Katherine was quick to gently rest a hand on Captain Rogers's shoulder. "Captain," she said softly, trying not to wince as his grip tightened on her even more before he seemed to realize what was happening. He looked behind his body, at Katherine's pleading eyes and his arm on her shoulder. He looked absolutely horrified. "It's alright," she said, knowing the self-loathing look that was starting to form in his eyes.

"I… I'm sorry," he said, his words choppy with breath as he fully released her. He was gone in an instant, walking swiftly to his room. She heard the lock on the door click when his door closed and sighed out in frustration.

"I'm sorry, Katherine. I didn't even think," Lionel said in a whisper, sounding ashamed of himself.

"Hey, it's not your fault at all. We just have to be a little more delicate." She ran her hands through her hair and turned off the cooking show, figuring Captain Rogers would stay in his room for the majority of the rest of the day. "How'd you sleep?" she asked, trying to take the focus off the super soldier.

Lionel shrugged. "Like I always do the first night away from home. You?"

"Pretty much the same," she replied. Though, it wasn't saying much. She never slept well anymore. "Want some lunch? I can whip up some turkey sandwiches."

"I'd be a fool to refuse a free meal," Lionel joked, sitting at one of the barstools. "How was he, before I came in?"

Katherine thought about her answer for a moment. "He was doing alright. I can tell he hates feeling stupid. And no matter how much I tell him it's not his fault, he doesn't like not knowing what things are, especially when they seem like basic knowledge to me. He seemed to genuinely enjoy the documentary we watched today, but I think there was a little twinge of sadness too, because he wasn't there to witness it in his life." She paused for a moment as she gathered her ingredients. "I can hear him awake at night, tossing and turning."

"And you can hear him awake because you're also awake," Lionel said, raising a brow. "Have you been taking any sleeping medicine, like the doc recommended?"

Katherine's nose crinkled. "The medicine gives me nightmares." The first few months she had taken it, she had woken in the middle of the night screaming and begging for invisible ghosts to leave her family alone. She had tossed the rest of the pills down the toilet immediately afterwards. She didn't bother to tell Lionel about the early start to her day, instead just quietly making him a sandwich and sliding the plate over to him. Years of knowing him had her putting just the right amount of mustard and mayonnaise on his sandwich, just the way he liked it. He dug in almost instantaneously.

"Well, you can't be skipping out on sleep all the time. How many hours did you get last night?" Katherine appreciated the concern, but it made her roll her eyes. She didn't reply, instead choosing to take a bite of her own sandwich. "Katherine…" he trailed off, the worry evident in his tone.

"Stop worrying. Show me pictures of the baby," she demanded as a distraction, knowing Lionel's love for his grandchildren would win out over his momentary concern for her sleeping habits. He returned her eye-roll but pulled his phone out, like a dutiful grandfather would, and showed her the few new pictures he had accumulated in the few weeks. The baby was already growing more than Katherine would have expected, though she hadn't really had any experiences with children to know otherwise. "He's adorable."

"I know," Lionel said simply, finishing up his sandwich. "I can head out to the store now. Got a list for me?"

Katherine grabbed the list from the counter on the right side of the fridge and held it out to him. He scanned it over briefly, nodding at the normal things she was asking for before one of his salt and pepper brows rose. "Why do you want all these vinyls?"

"I found a record player in one of the upstairs room and figured it was time to start easing him into music. If I do modern music on a record player, I was hoping it would take some of the shock away."

Lionel smiled. "You always were too considerate for your own good. Anything else?" Katherine shook her head. "Well, thank you for lunch. As always, it was delicious." His eyes trailed over to the closed door of Captain Rogers's room. "Tell him I'm sorry, yeah? I didn't mean to frighten him."

"For the last time, you're fine, Lionel. We appreciate everything you do for us. He's just… he just needs more time to adjust."

Katherine walked Lionel to the door and closed it behind him, making sure to lock it after she heard his car pull away. Once the deadbolt was secured, she padded across the living room floor to where the Captain's room was. She gently brushed her knuckles against the door, and wouldn't have been surprised if he hadn't even heard the knock. Though, he was a super soldier with enhanced senses, so she figured he had. "Captain Rogers?" she said gently, not wanting to frighten him but also not wanting to make him feel like she had to treat him like he was fragile. "I made lunch. Nothing special, just turkey sandwiches. You want to come out and eat? We could finish watching the cooking show?"

It was silent for several moments before she heard his tired voice respond. "I'm okay. Thanks, Agent Baker."

And that was that. The good mood of the day was ruined. She didn't blame him; it wasn't his fault that his first instinct was that there was danger near. She just hated that it had ruined their entire day. "Okay," she responded softly, "the stuff's in the fridge if you want to make one later." She didn't expect a response this time, and made her way to her room, shutting the door behind her.

It was times like these when she craved for Sophia's presence. She always wanted Sophia around, but this time she felt like she would suffocate with the emptiness of the house. Before the death of her family, she used to hate small spaces. She hated feeling cramped or trapped. Then after the fire, she realized the fear had changed. After standing in the widespread ruins of the hotel she and her parents had been staying in the night they died, she realized she feared the wide open space now. She didn't like that there was room for people to creep in, for people to sneak up on her.

Her phone dinged with a little message notification. Expecting Sophia, she shot up and grabbed for her phone, already feeling lighter at the expectation of a joke Sophia would no doubt tell to make Katherine feel better. Pressing her finger to the home button and typing in the password quickly, she opened the text message.

**How are things with our favorite Sleeping Beauty Encino Man?**

Katherine rolled her eyes. _That reference is old, even for you. He's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine._

**Oh no, three fines. You must be bored out of your mind.**

_It's hard, I guess. How do you connect with someone from the 1940s? I'm pretty sure my grandmother wasn't even born until 1945, and that was after he was already frozen._

Sophia's response didn't come right away, so Katherine set her phone on the nightstand next to her bed and stared at the ceiling. The only sound she could hear was the gently clinking of the fan above her, oscillating just loudly enough to give Katherine background noise. Against her will, her eyes started drooping shut, gentle blinks becoming slower and slower until eventually Katherine was dozing off, between the state of being asleep and awake.

She didn't recognize the dream immediately at first. She was in the living room of the safe house, where she and Captain Rogers had been just hours before. She could hear something playing on the television, but couldn't decipher what it was because there was something else playing, growing louder and louder. Katherine couldn't find the source of the sound, but she saw Captain Rogers in the kitchen, cooking up something. She realized she couldn't hear the sound of the sizzling pan, just the way she liked it.

He looked up at her and smiled, but it wasn't the kind-hearted smile she knew he possessed. It was an apologetic smile, like he was sorry for something. She opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, but suddenly the sizzling of the pan got louder and louder, until it was all she could hear ringing in her ears. Katherine flung her hands over her ears and tried to call out for Captain Rogers to stop cooking. But when she looked up, all she saw was her little brother and parents, standing in the kitchen. But they were different now, covered in soot and blackened with ash.

"Survivor's guilt, sweetheart. It never goes away," her father said through a crumbling mouth, before they all disintegrated, nothing more than ash in the middle of the kitchen.

A knock on her door had her jumping up in bed, the remnants of the dream dissolving. "Agent Baker?" she heard from the other side of the door. "Are you alright? I… I heard you tossing and turning." Katherine ran her hands through her hair, noticing how sweaty her brow had become. A quick glance at her phone told her she'd been asleep for longer than she thought, Sophia's reply from earlier having come in an hour prior to Captain Rogers's knocking. She stood from her bed and opened the door, met with the sight of the Captain's concerned face. "Sorry, I just thought I would wake you up."

"It's fine." Katherine didn't want to talk about the dream she had just had. When it looked like he wanted to ask about them, opening up his mouth to ask the inevitable question, she interrupted him. "Captain, I'd really like to not get into it. I'll tell you what keeps me up at night when you tell me what keeps _you_ up." That seemed to shut him up, his mouth closing abruptly with her ultimatum. "Did Lionel get back yet?" she asked, changing the subject.

Captain Rogers nodded. "He left about fifteen minutes ago. I would have woken you up but he told me to let you sleep." Katherine would have almost preferred that the Captain wake her up; maybe the nightmare wouldn't have gotten as far along as it had. However, she knew Lionel would have been upset with Captain Rogers if he had disturbed her, especially after Katherine's conversation with the older man earlier that morning. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" he asked softly, offering his attention once more.

What could she tell him? It wasn't like her nightmares even came close to comparing to his. Sure, she'd been there when her family had died, but he'd had to deal with so much more. From the loss of his parents, to the loss of Bucky's parents, to the loss of Bucky himself, and then the strange new sensation of waking up in the next century. No, she wouldn't confess her nightmares. She couldn't. "I'm sure," she said with a small smile, her tone leaving no room for any arguments on his side. "Would you like to finish watching that cooking show?"

He simply nodded, following her back out to the living room. They sat in silence, staring at the screen as Katherine rebooted the program, watching people slice and dice and cut. It was strangely therapeutic. However, it didn't last long. She saw Captain Rogers turn to her, saw the war in his eyes as he struggled with asking her what was on his mind. "Agent Baker?" he asked. She let her eyes roam over to his face, distracting herself from the cooking show. "Could you tell me about Peggy?"

If there was one thing she hadn't been expecting, it was exactly what the Captain had asked her just then. "Agent Carter?" she stuttered out, surprised. Sure, she knew they had a thing when they were in the war together, but there were so many more agents more equipped for answering questions about Agent Carter. "I didn't really know her all that well, Captain. I'm sorry. I know what retirement home she's in, and I know she lived a decently happy life, but that's all, really."

"And Howard? I know Fury said he got married and they have a son, but picturing him with anyone else but Annie…" he trailed off, shaking his head. "It just seems _wrong_."

"She was buried in the Atlantic. Howard tried to find her. He met Maria Collins Carbonell about a year afterwards. I think he just started dating her at first to get over the pain of Annie, but they fell in love. I met their son a few times growing up, but he didn't want much to do with S.H.I.E.L.D. I don't think he and Howard got along all that well."

"I don't get how he could just be with her to get over Annie. That's not how you do things," Captain Rogers said, and the unspoken words were clear. _He should have tried harder to find Annie. He shouldn't have given up on her_.

Katherine couldn't help the wry smile that came over her lips. "I think you underestimate the pain of being alone, Captain Rogers. Everyone wants someone. And sometimes giving up is less painful than holding onto a fantasy. It took them nearly seventy years to find you. Howard was dead ten before that. If he hadn't moved on… he would have spent the rest of his days looking for Annie. And something tells me that's not what she would have wanted."

"Have you had to give up on someone?" he asked, the question coming so suddenly that Katherine was hit with the force of it.

No, she hadn't had to give up on anyone. Her parents, her little brother, their deaths were final. There wasn't any kind of resurrection for them. She would never have to give up on Sophia. But there was a kind of hollowness in her chest when she heard the Captain's question that made her wonder if she had. If there was anyone she would have given up on, it would have been herself. "Maybe," she decided to answer, shrugging. "Maybe."

He didn't reply to that, just looking at her for a moment before he gently turned to look back at the television. Katherine selected a documentary about the end of World War Two, figuring he could get caught up on what he missed. It covered the beginning of the Cold War and leading up to the very beginning of the Civil Rights Movement in the sixties. Captain Rogers watched with interest, eyes trying to imprint the images in his brain so he could know what happened in the country he had fought for so many years ago. Meanwhile, Katherine was simply staring at the television, going through the motions of watching but not paying attention fully. Her mind was still on the conversation from before.

Once the documentary ended, it was like the two of them were on autopilot. The visions of what had happened in America's history had seemed to leave Captain Rogers speechless, and Katherine's early morning was finally starting to catch up to her. She turned off the television and went through the motions of the rest of the day, cooking dinner and cleaning up after their meal with robotic motions. Neither of them felt like conversation the rest of the night. Nothing else needed to be said. And Katherine could see the ghosts in his eyes, taking the shape of all he had lost. When he retired to his room early, she wasn't surprised.

Katherine found that no matter how tired she was, she wasn't ready to go to sleep. She didn't want the same nightmare to creep up on her. Instead, she tidied the kitchen and tried to keep her mind occupied. She fluffed couch pillows and even swept the hardwood floors of the safe house, scrambling for another meticulous and mind-numbingly boring chore to do so she wouldn't be forced to face her thoughts. There wasn't much else she could do besides sit and think about their conversation.

Was that how she really felt? That she had given up on herself? She tried to convince herself that it had just been an in-the-moment response to try and make Captain Rogers feel better about the activity of Howard Stark, but there was a small part of her brain that told her that wasn't the full truth. She _had_ given up on herself. She'd given up on herself that day in Austria, and she hadn't regained the self-confidence she needed to pick herself back up.

Katherine brought her knees to her chest, curling her arms around them as she sat and stared at the silent room. She wasn't the type to cry or show emotions, so no tears came as she looked thoughtfully at a painting on the opposite side of the room. But that didn't mean she didn't feel the exhaustion start to settle in, so much deeper than a normal tiredness. She reached for the remote and tried to drown out her thoughts with a mindless program, not caring that the only thing they'd really done today was watch television. Pressing against the pillows, she rested her head on the arm of the couch and watched the television until it lulled her to a sleeping state, not quite dozed off but not fully awake.

When she woke, she blearily checked the time on her phone. It was another early morning, the numbers **3:18** staring back at her in a light that was much too bright for the darkness of the living room. She realized groggily that she had fallen asleep on the couch, and there was a soft material surrounding her body. Staring at the blanket, she tried to remember when she'd grabbed it in the night before her mind caught up with the feeling of the soft fleece. The television was turned off and she was covered with the blanket that had been on the back of the couch. Sometime in the night, Captain Rogers must have come out into the living room and found her asleep. Her heart swelled in her chest as the sweet, unexpected gesture. She was pretty sure no one had covered her with a blanket since she was a little girl.

Tiptoeing as to not wake him up, she made her way to her room and changed into another outfit worthy for the gym, soft leggings and a loose shirt that wouldn't stick to her body too tightly when she inevitably started sweating. She filled up a water bottle in the kitchen and made her way to the home gym, starting with a few simply stretches since her arms were slightly sore from the workout the morning before. Maybe that was something new, she decided on a positive note. She could start working out daily, like she had used to before Austria. One good thing the safe house offered, she supposed. It wasn't like there was much else to do.

She felt the muscles in her body fall back into an almost familiar pattern as she sat on the ground and leaned her entire body towards her right leg, grabbing her toes and bending them back slightly. She repeated the action on the other side. Her early years in gymnastics and training with S.H.I.E.L.D. made it easy enough for her to slip into a horizontal split, and then a vertical split when she stood up and lowered herself down to the ground again. Then, once she was fully stretched, she moved towards the elliptical, blasting whatever music she could find. It was some kind of rap album that was probably designed to make her feel pumped and energized for the upcoming workout. She found it worked well enough, and was glad the room was soundproof, so she wouldn't wake up the Captain.

Her legs worked, moving her body back and forth to the rhythm of the music. She didn't know how long she stayed on the machine, moving her legs back and forth, but after what felt like an hour, she got off. Her legs felt like jelly, but she pressed on, making her way back to the punching bag hanging from the ceiling. The same gloves on her hands, she started hitting the bag, her arms becoming slow and sluggish by the time another hour rolled around. Taking a break, she lifted her water bottle to her mouth and heard the soft sounds of tapping footsteps growing closer.

"Figured I might find you here again," Captain Rogers said, walking into the gym. He gave her a small smile, the same one he'd been giving her every morning for the past three weeks. "You mind some company?" She shook her head, setting her water bottle back on the bench. He looked around the gym and sheepishly gave her a little frown. "The only thing I really know how to do in here is the bag," he said, gesturing to the bag she was about to begin hitting.

She unfastened the gloves from her hand. "Here, you can use it. I'm pretty much done for the morning, I'm just going to stretch some more so I'm not sore tomorrow." He gratefully accepted the gloves. "I'll tell Lionel to get another pair next time he comes around," she mentioned. They were both silent as he started the meticulous punching and she sat on the ground and repeated the stretches she had done earlier that morning. Neither of them focused on one another, and Katherine felt grateful that she still felt the peace of being alone even with Captain Rogers in the room.

Katherine finished stretching and gave the Captain a nod of acknowledgement as she left the gym, heading to her room to grab a change of clothes before her routine morning shower. When she emerged from the bathroom thirty minutes later, Captain Rogers was still in the gym. She took advantage of the silence and used the records Lionel had picked out to drown out the sound of bacon frying in the pan when she begun cooking. It was one of ABBA's albums, and Captain Rogers found her humming along to the music when he came back inside, slicked with sweat but looking more relaxed than she'd ever seen him.

"Who's this?" he asked as he sat on a barstool. She handed him his plate of breakfast and he accepted it with a small thanks.

"ABBA. A Swedish band I grew up with. They got pretty popular in the states."

More silence. They ate their breakfast. Captain Rogers took a shower. And then, like clockwork, they settled down onto the couch and Katherine put on a documentary. Neither really paid attention.

Just another day with two people who had only ever known war.


	5. Chapter Four

This is the last of the chapter I already had written, but hopefully I can get to writing a new chapter soon. Hope you all enjoy!

* * *

Katherine still wasn't quite used to celebrating Thanksgiving.

Even though she'd been celebrating it for longer than she hadn't been, it was still weird. Back home in Sweden, Thanksgiving was just another Thursday afternoon. Her mother would cook something like soup or warm pasta, no sign of a turkey in sight. Then, when she started celebrating it with Sophia and the Benjamins, she hadn't really considered it a holiday as much as it was a get together with Sophia. So when she woke up on Thanksgiving morning, it took her several moments to realize that it wasn't just a regular Thursday and there was a turkey that she had left out to thaw overnight sitting on the counter.

It was later than she normally woke up. The clock next to her bed told her that it was just shy of five in the morning, but she knew it was a groggy kind of day. She could feel it in her bones as she gently stood from her bed and got into some gym clothes. For once, Captain Rogers has his bedroom door wide open. He must have woken up before her and already started their little ritual of working out in the morning. When she walked to the gym, she saw him with the punching bag and sent him a tired smile.

"Happy Thanksgiving," she said softly when his flying fists came to a stop. He turned to give her a minuscule smile. "Any particular way you want the turkey made tonight?"

He shook his head and got back to punching. Katherine sighed. It was going to be a quiet morning. Mornings with Captain Rogers were usually categorized in one of three ways: quiet, optimistic, or stagnant. The optimistic ones were obviously her favorite, when he would engage her in conversations and excitedly want to watch a documentary or listen to more music. Those were the mornings she cherished in the dull safe house. The quiet ones were the most boring. He would utter maybe three sentences throughout the entire day, and while he wasn't necessarily _rude_, he didn't acknowledge her much. The stagnant ones were somewhere in between, a nice middle that Katherine didn't mind.

Knowing he was done talking for the rest of the morning, she made her way to the elliptical and started her normal thirty minutes of cardio. Lionel had picked up some cheap earpods from the store so she had some music to listen to. Plugging it into her too ancient iPod that she was sure Apple didn't even make anymore, she turned on whatever music was loud enough and fast enough to get her through the sleepy morning. She usually didn't listen to music on the iPod if the Captain was in a talking mood; they usually left the radio in the gym on a low enough hum so they could hear each other speak but still enjoy the music. On his quiet days, the radio sat untouched.

After the elliptical, she sat on the floor to do some yoga. It had been a while since Sophia had dragged her to yoga classes, but she remembered most of the basics. Her body protested a little, but as she continued with the poses, it welcomed the familiar ache and soreness of her unused muscles.

"What are you doing?" Captain Rogers asked, and Katherine's eyes flew open, unaware she had even closed them. She realized he had stopped pounding on the punching bag and was watching her with a slightly horrified expression, like he didn't know a body could bend that way. She let out a small laugh at the terror on his face.

"Yoga. It's a type of exercise that originated in India. It's good for flexibility and calming." Katherine sat up and stared at him, a small smile on her face. "I could teach you some poses if you want. I'm not advanced by any means, but Sophia and I used to take classes." Sophia had always been more into yoga than Katherine was, but Katherine was sure she could teach Captain Rogers the beginner's poses.

"I'd rather not," he mentioned. "I'll stick to the punching bag."

Katherine shrugged, stretching her body forward until her fingers touched her toes and her forehead touched her knees. She noticed him wince from the corner of her eye and laughed again, stretching out for a couple more seconds before she sat back up and stood from the floor. "I'm going to go shower and then start on the turkey."

She was halfway out of the gym when he called her name, stopping her. "Agent Baker," he said, rubbing the back of his neck like he was embarrassed, "sorry for the mood earlier. I just… it's the first Thanksgiving I've celebrated without Bucky or Annie."

In an instant, her heart went out to him. She remembered the first holiday without her family. There was a feeling of emptiness that would never go away, made worse by the cheer of others. "It's the first one I've spent away from Sophia, so I understand." He nodded, but his heart wasn't in it and she could tell. "It's just us tonight. Lionel was given permission to fly back to see his family, so he's landing pretty soon." She didn't envy the red-eye that Lionel had to catch. "I promise I'm better company than I seem," she laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck in a motion similar to his.

"You're fine company, Agent Baker. More than I probably deserve."

Smiling at the compliment, she nodded. "Thanks." She hooked a thumb behind her in the direction of the house. "Alright, I'm off."

Taking the stairs two at a time, she made her way to the bathroom and scrubbed her body and hair quickly. She wanted to make sure the turkey had enough time to be in the oven. Never having prepared the Thanksgiving turkey (that was Sophia's father's job), she was a little nervous. There had been a fairly easy recipe online about putting onions and apple slices in the pan that she was going to try out, but she just hope it would turn out good enough for Captain Rogers's first Thanksgiving since the 1940's.

After she was out and her hair was tied up in a ponytail, her sweats exchanged for comfortable leggings and a big sweater that fell to her mid-thigh, she padded down the stairs to the kitchen. She collected all she needed from the fridge and got to work, rolling up her sleeves and preparing herself for the task of removing the turkey's innards.

That's how Captain Rogers found her.

"I'm sure this looks unflattering," she commented when he sat at a barstool. She was glad that he seemed to have snapped out of his quiet mood. "But hopefully it will be a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner."

"With the way you cook, I'm sure it will be. You need any help?"

She thought about declining, but then saw the hopeful look on his face and her heart wouldn't let her. "Sure. You can cut the apples and onions for me. Just slices are fine." She set out two bowls for him to put the slices into and grabbed a knife. "What did you guys normally do for Thanksgiving?" Katherine asked softly, deciding that she was a coward for not looking at him when she asked. She didn't want to see the nostalgic look that she was sure had taken over. And maybe if she looked away, he wouldn't ask about her family.

"Annie made the turkey and Bucky and I tried to make the sides. We usually messed them up. The last Thanksgiving, we were stationed somewhere for the Commandos. Annie surprised us all and made us a meal out of whatever she could find. It wasn't a big turkey or anything, but it was nice to sit together and just relax for the time being. Howard offered to fly us all over Paris to see the lights at night. It was the first Thanksgiving I'd spent away from home, but it was one of the best."

"It sounds like a holiday to remember," she said gently, realizing the wistful tone in his voice. He turned his eyes to her and the question was there in them. "I didn't celebrate the holiday until I moved to the United States. There I was, a scrawny little ten-year-old invited to the Benjamin household. Sophia's adopted," she noticed the Captain's surprised look and nodded, "she was born in Cuba and Wendy and Timothy are from Mexico. Imagine a little Swedish kid in the heart of a household that only speak Spanish. Different kinds of Spanish, too. Sophia has about seventy cousins, and they all crowd around Sophia's childhood home. It took me a while to feel like I belonged there with them. But they were so kind. Wendy would always make me cherry pie because she knew it was my favorite. One Thanksgiving she tried to make me Jansson's _frestelse, _which is sort of a potato and anchovy casserole." At Captain Rogers's look, she laughed. "Sweden loves their fish."

"Did you ever start feeling like you belonged there? The way you and Sophia acted with each other, it's hard to imagine you ever felt that way."

"Eventually I did. Wendy and Timothy are for all intents and purposes, my mother and father. They raised me like their own."

"And your real parents?"

Katherine's hands stilled in their movement. She was quiet, turning the question over in her head. Captain Rogers looked like he was going to apologize, but didn't know how. "That's a conversation for another day," she finally decided to say. "How are those slices coming along?"

"Well, if being Captain America ever fails, I probably have a career as a professional slicer," he mentioned, showcasing the slices he had made already.

"Is that so?" she laughed, shaking her head. "It's always good to know you have backup options."

The two of them continued their food preparation, occasionally laughing at a joke Captain Rogers made or at Katherine's hesitance to do anything wrong to the first Thanksgiving turkey she had ever prepared. Once the turkey was done, they put it in the oven and got started on the sides. The Captain was at more of a loss as to what to do when it came to sides, so she put him in charge of making the gravy, since it was difficult to mess up.

The conversation was kept light, an unspoken understanding between the two of them that today needed to be kept happy, unhindered by the pain of their pasts. He didn't ask anymore questions about her real family, instead keeping his interest on Sophia and her parents. She didn't bring up his mother or father and tried to let him lead the conversations about his life, so she didn't bring up anything about Annie or Bucky that he didn't want to remember. Then, when they had exhausted the topic of family, he asked her about Sweden. It was harder to remember details about it because she hadn't been there in so long, but she provided him what information she could.

"Lots of fish dishes," she mentioned, smiling. "Lots of ABBA. My mother used to tell me tales about Viking blood that ran through our family. It wasn't true, of course, but it was always fun to listen to." She turned his gravy down to a simmer when he wasn't looking, not wanting to insult him by messing with his dish. "She also used to tell us we were related to Thor, the Nordic god of thunder, but that was definitely false."

"We only learned about the Greek ones growing up."

"Nordic gods are better. I'll teach you about them," Katherine said. He nodded seriously, as if she was handing him a mission he needed to complete. It was nice to be taken seriously, she decided. Even if it was something as small as the stories her mother used to tell her growing up. "Our sides look like they're coming along well. Want to go put a movie on or something? I had Lionel pick up a few Disney ones since you liked the documentary so much."

"Sure," he mentioned, walking over to the living room. On the coffee table was a collection of animated movies, all with the Disney logo in small lettering on top of the titles. There was one with a redheaded mermaid on the cover, one with a lion, and another with a pretty dark-skinned woman in a blue dress with a frog. "Which one do you want to watch?"

"Whatever one you want to!" He heard Katherine call from the kitchen. Deciding on the one titled _Princess and the Frog_, he set the others back down on the table. He was determined to get it set up by himself without taking Katherine away from her task. Bending down so he was eye-to-eye with the DVD player, his finger hovered over one of the buttons. He couldn't remember if the weird triangle with the line underneath was the eject button or the play button, but he took a chance and pressed it. When the device opened, he grinned and swapped out the DVD they had last watched (a movie made in 1947, which was a nice pace for him) and put in _Princess and the Frog_. Pressing the button again, he watched it close and then pressed the other triangle button that must have meant "play." When the music started up, Steve grinned.

"I think I actually set it up correctly," he announced from where he was still knelt in front of the television. Slowly but surely, he was getting the hang of things. Katherine had been a huge help in getting him accustomed to the technology of today's world.

Her head popped out from the kitchen to survey the television. "Looks like it. Turn it up, will you? I'll be there in a minute."

The thick head of brunette hair disappeared once more as Steve settled himself onto the couch. He was happy that today seemed to be going better than he thought it would have. He had woken up earlier than Katherine, a rare occasion that he took advantage of by going down to the gym before she could get there and ask what was wrong. This was his first Thanksgiving away from the time he was _supposed_ to be in. His first Thanksgiving away from Bucky and Annie. He was expecting to brood today, mind stuck in the memories of Thanksgiving past. He could recognize the look of disappointment on Katherine's face when he had been abrupt and short that morning when she finally wandered into the gym, and immediately wanted to retract his bad behavior. It wasn't her fault he was stuck in a different century. And she had been so helpful, willing to put up living away from her friends to help him adjust.

Then she had asked him how he wanted his turkey prepared. She was willing to put together a Thanksgiving meal for him. And that, he reasoned, had been enough to get rid of the mood. He should be thankful for her. Thinking that, he nearly chuckled to himself. Guess she top on his list of things he should be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

"Alright, I think the sides are done. I like to bake my mashed potatoes, so we'll put them in the oven later." She plopped down on the couch with the grace of a toddler. It made Steve laugh to think she was a stealthy agent.

They sat together, watching the beginning of the movie, with Katherine patiently answering any question he had about the plot. He noticed she lifted her phone every couple of minutes to check and see if someone had texted her. Texting, he thought to himself, was a whole other can of worms he was terrified to open. She had shown him the basics of the phone, how to call and such. And she had laughed when he had sent her a formal text, concluded with a "_Sincerely, Steve_."

"Sophia says happy Thanksgiving," Katherine said after a few moments of checking her phone. He raised his brow and she showed him the text from Sophia, a bunch of yellow happy faces applied after the text. He parroted the sentiment back to her, knowing Katherine would text Sophia back the statement. "It's weird not being there with her. I can only imagine how weird it would be to be in a different century."

Steve shrugged, eyes trained on the television to keep from saying something that sounded self-deprecating. The movie was pretty interesting, a different take on a story he was actually familiar with. He wondered if that's why Katherine had made it one of the choices. He had never been to New Orleans either, so it was fun to see the animation's perspective on the city.

"I was wondering…" Katherine trailed off, her small bare feet propped up on the coffee table. Steve's mother would have had Katherine's head for that, he remembered with a fond smile. Every time Bucky or Steve had tried to lift their feet even in the direction of the table, she would swat them like they were houseflies. "We've been stuck in here for too long. I know Fury said he'd prefer if we don't go out, but if we get you a baseball cap and some sunglasses or something, we could probably go out and sightsee. Lionel would have to call it in, of course, and we'd have to have an agent following behind us just to make sure nothing happens, but I just wanted to ask." She was rambling, he noticed, and realized that she was just as eager to get out of the house as he was.

That, of course, brought back the guilt. Guilt at the fact that she should have been with Sophia and her family on Thanksgiving. She shouldn't have been stuck here with him, bored out of her mind. "I'd love to. If you can set it up, I'll do whatever."

Her shoulders sagged in relief and it was then he truly realized how small she was. Though, that didn't apply to the obvious muscle definition he could see during their trips to the home gym. He knew she could hold her own. But she was about the size of him before the serum, give or take about an inch or two. The muscles she did have were lean, which didn't add any obvious bulk to her. He suddenly felt like a giant sitting next to her.

"I'll call it in, then. I'm sure Lionel will be happy to walk around. He and his wife used to travel before she died, so he's always up for seeing new things."

"Maybe you can buy Sophia a souvenir," he suggested, and her answering smile had the guilt slowly dissipating in his chest. If she could smile like that, he hadn't ruined her life too badly, had he?

"I was thinking that too." At peace with his acceptance, she faced the television once more, able to fully pay attention to the movie without the weight of her question on her mind. He wondered how long she had been mulling it over, wondering when to ask and if he would even agree.

"You don't have to…" he struggled to find the right words as she turned to tilt her head at him again. How could he put it into words? "Look, I know you're stuck here because of me. If there's anything you ever want to do, you don't need to ask me. I'm lucky you just put up with me." There. Hopefully she understood that.

Her eyes softened. He had never noticed them before, but they were a pretty brown color. The only thing he had to compare them to were Peggy's, and the memory of her was so fresh to him that he almost didn't want to. But they were around the same color, save for the tiny ring of gold around Katherine's pupil. Both women had their strength showcased in their eyes, but he thought Katherine's might have been filled with a little more pain, like she hadn't quite gotten control of the emotions of her past. If Peggy had ghosts, she had exceptional skills at not letting them show.

"Captain Rogers, it's my job to help you."

Didn't she understand that he didn't want to be a burden? Didn't just want to be an assignment she was given? She must have seen something on his face that gave her a clue into his emotions, for she sighed and softly hit her forehead with her palm.

"That's not what I meant." Her brows furrowed, frustrated that she seemed as incapable of words as he. "I mean, I don't see myself as being stuck with you. Sure, it's my actual job to help you and I'll likely get fired if I refuse, but… it's my _personal_ job to help you. I want to make you feel as comfortable as possible in the situation you were thrown into. I know what it's like to feel like a fish out of water. I felt the same way when I moved her from Sweden. It was an entirely different culture, everybody was wired differently. If I didn't help you, I would feel like bad person."

"You? Bad?" Though he hadn't known her for long, he just couldn't sense that in her.

"Everyone's got some bad in them, Captain. Even me. Even you."

He let that statement hang over them for a moment. She had a lot of good statements, he realized. It was often that he found himself at a loss for words after one of her insightful ramblings. "Fish out of water," he finally said after a while, crossing his arms over his chest and sending her a small smile that verged on the side of a smirk. "Is that a reference to the fact that you're Swedish?"

He was happy he could make her laugh. It made the guilt less prominent. "Funny, Captain Rogers. Don't poke too much fun. I might be useful if you ever find yourself in Sweden."

"Is that so? Can you speak it?" he asked, fully expecting the answer to be no. Sure, she had lived there the first ten years of her life, but she was so ingrained in the U.S. now, surely she had lost it?

Those big brown eyes narrowed in a challenge. "_Inte sälja skinnet förrän björnen är skjuten, _Kapten Rogers." He let out a loud laugh, possibly the loudest since he'd been out of the ice, and grinned at her.

"And I imagine you just called me something that wouldn't be appropriate to say in church?"

She shook her head. "I gave you a pretty common Swedish idiom. It translates to 'don't sell the skin before the bear is shot.' Which for you Americans would mean 'don't count your chickens until they hatch.'"

"I failed German in high school."

Katherine laughed. Steve was happy he could at least keep them entertained. He felt a little guilty that he was distracting her from the movie, but they could always start it from the beginning. Truthfully, he was just happy that she was there with him, keeping him from going insane in that safe house. It was nice to wake up and not be completely alone. When he was younger, he'd always had someone with him, whether it be his mother or Bucky or the Commandos. After waking up in a world where all of those candidates were dead, he was glad Katherine seemed to be in this for the next six months.

After the movie finished and Captain Rogers had peppered Katherine with questions about how the logistics of the plot would work, Katherine turned on the record player once more and let ABBA's music flow through the room. Cap had mentioned that he liked the music she'd been playing as of late, and since most of that music consisted of ABBA, she figured she wouldn't fix something if it wasn't broken. She checked on all the sides one more, thinking that they'd probably be ready by lunch time to dig in. That was still about two or three hours away depending on when the Captain wanted to eat, but she checked the turkey and deemed it on its way to perfection.

"I almost forgot to ask, is there anything you need? Clothes, toiletries, anything like that?" Katherine asked. He had moved to the barstool at the counter so he could see her and she tossed him an extra apple from that morning, knowing that with his enhanced strength and metabolism, he got hungrier faster than she did.

"Not that I can think of. Why?"

"Another invention of America's consumers. Black Friday." At the look on Cap's face, she laughed. She didn't imagine hearing Black Friday for the first time sounded like a pleasant event. "Black Friday is the Friday after Thanksgiving and a whole bunch of stores have ridiculous sales. I could grab anything at basically half off if you need it. And then I was thinking we could maybe get you a decent computer that isn't filled with a whole bunch of S.H.I.E.L.D. files. We could get that on Cyber Monday, though."

"Do I even want to know what Cyber Monday is?"

"Same general idea as Black Friday but we can do online shopping."

"Online shopping?" he asked. Katherine smiled at him, unable to keep from wanting to laugh at the incredulity in his eyes. "I don't want to know," he said, holding up his hand when Katherine opened her mouth to explain. "It'll just confuse me. I assume you know what you're doing and you can do… Cyber Monday for me."

"We could get you an iPod too. For working out. It's the thing I wear sometimes with the headphones that go into my ears. It's like a portable record player."

He actually smiled at that. "I wouldn't mind one of those. You'll just have to help me put songs on it."

"Of course. You can add songs from the forties, as well. That way you can have a little of the old mixed with a little of the new."

The two of them popped another movie in to pass the time until the turkey would be done. Then, after the movie was done, Katherine put on the recording of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade that she had made sure to DVR the night before. She opened her mouth to explain what it was that they were watching, but Captain Rogers was staring at the television like he knew exactly what was happening.

"Is this the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade?" he asked. At Katherine's surprised look, he laughed. "The first ever one was in 1924. Believe it or not, I knew about it. I was six when the first one happened."

"How incredible. What was it like?"

Captain Rogers smiled. "Bucky and I went. We had only been friends for about six months at that time. He had three sisters and looked out for me like I was the brother he ever had. We had gotten up early that morning. Bucky was tired and cranky, but I was excited. My mother hardly ever took me out for things like that because of all my health issues. Bucky and I snuck up to a building and watched it from above the crowd. Our mothers went crazy when they couldn't find us, but it was incredible."

"Bucky sounds like he was a great guy," Katherine supplied.

"Bucky was definitely my Sophia," Captain Rogers agreed. "When my mom passed, I started going over there for Thanksgiving. I always got embarrassed because his parents and sisters fussed over me. Rebecca, the second sibling, she always pestered me about getting a date. 'Anyone would be lucky to date such a sweet guy, Steve' she'd say." He smiled softly, enveloped in memories. "Most girls didn't want to date a guy they'd inevitably step on."

Katherine just grinned.

"Rebecca was the only one that went to the parade with us. She was just two at the time. Mary, Bucky's third sister, had just been born and George, Bucky's father, stayed home with her. That never happened again. Mary ended up throwing all of her baby food on the wall." He laughed at the memory of a red-faced Winnifred Barnes, scolding her husband for not knowing what to do with a baby."

"What was his third sisters name?"

"Lillian. I always liked her best. She was a lot like me, quiet and shy. She was about nine years younger than me and was like my little sister."

"Do you know what happened to them?"

"Rebecca got married before I went off to the war. Some guy named Robert Proctor. Mary was going to school to become a nurse and was going steady with some guy named William. Little Lillian was sixteen. Never really did grow out of that shy phase."

"We could check and see if they're still alive. If Rebecca was born in 1922, that would mean she'd only be eighty-nine. When we get you a decent laptop, we can research."

He shrugged. "I wouldn't want to mess up their lives. For all I know, they blame me for what happened to Bucky."

She could sense some guilt there, realized that he blamed himself. "It wasn't your fault, what happened to him. He signed up for the war, Captain. He knew what he was doing."

"He never signed up." The final tone in his voice, like he would not argue on this matter, had Katherine's reply faltering. "He never told me straight out because he knew how much I would have given to fight, but he was drafted. He never wanted the war. And he had to pay for it."

"I'm sure there's no one else he would have rather died for."

"Yeah, well, I didn't want him to die for me."

The short, clipped tone from that morning was back. Katherine hated that she'd somehow put it there. "Doesn't matter. Don't cheapen his choice. If it was down to Sophia and me, I'd fling myself on burning hot coals if it meant she'd be okay. I'm sure Bucky felt the same way, and died knowing he'd helped save you. Don't let that sacrifice be in vain. Don't weaken his decision to save you. You're a pretty awesome guy."

The compliment had Steve looking at her, his eyes filled with an emotion Katherine didn't know how to decipher. "Thanks, Agent Baker."

"You don't have to thank me, Cap." She looked at the clock hanging on the other side of the room and smiled. "Except you can totally thank me for lunch, because it's ready."

Happy the conversation had taken a turn from the depressive state he'd made, they walked to the kitchen to serve themselves. The turkey looked perfect, and smelled better than anything Steve had eaten in the last two months of being out of the ice. They chatted while they dished out heaping portions of mashed potatoes and gravy, Steve's plate being at least three times the size of Katherine. Another thing he had noticed, he supposed. She ate enough to sustain life, but never had seconds of anything. He wasn't too worried, since she was still a healthy weight, but he always felt self-conscious eating his many helpings around her. She didn't seem to mind.

"After lunch, we can search some laptops and iPods if you want. You can pick different colors."

Steve had no idea what she was talking about, so he just nodded.

The meal was the best he'd had in a while. Even past waking up from the ice. He was used to the rations the Howling Commandos had gobbled down, with Dum Dum trying to steal a little bit of everyone's meal. As they were cleaning up dishes, Katherine looked at him with the same look she had before she asked if he'd want to get out of the safe house. Like she was nervous.

"Will you tell me about the Commandos?"

He wanted to appease her, he really did. But even talking about Bucky's family had drained him. He didn't want to ruin their nice Thanksgiving with ghosts from the past. Which was why he told her as such.

"I don't want to ruin our Thanksgiving talking about things from the past. Maybe some other time," he said, making sure to smooth the tone of his voice so she wouldn't be offended.

"Of course. It was insensitive of me to even ask."

"Not insensitive. You're just curious. I don't blame you for it." The small smile he gave her seemed to smooth over the rest of her nerves.

She dried the last plate and turned to face him. "Alright, time to go pick out an iPod." Grabbing her laptop from her room, she came back out and sat on one of the barstools. "We can get a Nano, a Shuffle, or an iPod Touch. The touch would probably be the easiest to work with, but if you want a fancy color, then I say the Nano."

"I have no idea what any of that means."

"I know," she grinned, laughing a little at his offended expression. "I'll show you the different makes of each of them."

The Nano was skinnier than the other two, but longer than the tiny little box she called a Shuffle. The Shuffle was immediately ruled out simply because his thumbs were too big and would be clumsy pushing the buttons. He liked the color aspect of the Nano, but the iPod touch was the easiest to manipulate, Katherine mentioned. She let him mess around with her own iPod touch to get used to it, and he decided that was the one he wanted.

"So how does Cyber Monday work?"

"I just put it in my cart and then early Monday morning I can check out."

"You don't have to go to the store?"

"Nope. It'll ship to the house." The disbelief on his face made her laugh again. "I'll most likely have Lionel pick it up. He'll be back Sunday afternoon."

The two finished watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and both told stories about their past that wouldn't make them uncomfortable. Katherine already felt guilty enough about earlier, and Steve felt guilty about making her feel bad. It was a surprise when Sophia requested to FaceTime, her little icon popping up on Katherine's phone.

"_Happy Thanksgiving_," Sophia said the moment Katherine answered. "_My mother wanted me to FaceTime you so she could see you and Capsicle_."

"Sophia," Katherine scolded, but Captain Rogers just let out a small chuckle.

"_Mamá_," Sophia called out, "_Kate está en el teléfono_!"

"_Mija! Sophia told me she would call you so I could check in. Did you make Thanksgiving dinner?_" Wendy asked before Katherine could actually see her on the camera. Then, she appeared, her brunette hair peppered with little streaks of gray and her eyes crinkled at the corners from her years spent laughing and making memories. Wendy Benjamin was the prettiest woman Katherine had ever seen. She remembered being in awe that someone who worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. could look so happy all the time, but Wendy managed.

"Thanksgiving lunch."

"_How's Captain Rogers?_" she asked.

When Cap looked a little worried that Wendy knew Katherine was with him, she shrugged it off. "Wendy used to be an active S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. She's retired now, but most of them know you've woken up from the ice."

"I'm great, Mrs. Benjamin," Cap said in a ridiculously loud voice, as if Wendy wouldn't hear him through the video. Wendy just laughed at the volume, ignoring Sophia poking fun of Captain Rogers in the background. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"_And Happy Thanksgiving to you! Next year when Fury is less grumpy, you'll be here for Thanksgiving. My Kate is a great cook, but I'm better._"

Katherine shrugged. "No arguments from me."

"_You're good? Everything is okay there? Sophia complains when you're gone._"

"Sophia complains all the time."

"_Hey!"_ Sophia called from the back of the shot of the Benjamin's kitchen.

"_Es muy guapo, Kate_," Wendy mentioned, making Sophia cackle in the background and Kate roll her eyes. "I'll see you soon, Kate. We love you."

"I love you guys too."

"Do I even want to know what she said?" Captain Rogers asked. Katherine simply shook her head and flung her phone onto the coffee table, kicking her feet up.

"Sorry if they made you uncomfortable. They're just trying to be nice."

"They didn't. It was nice to see you interacting with them. Makes me realize what you'd be like when you aren't forced in a boring safehouse watching a… Capsicle." He grinned at the term, seemingly not offended by Sophia's coined nickname.

"Encino Man is another one of her favorites," Katherine mentioned. "It's a movie. We'll have to watch it soon."

"Just add it to the list."

They spent the rest of the day vegging out and eating leftovers whenever their stomachs got low, which for Captain America, was often. By eight, Katherine was ready to curl up in her bed and sleep. However, when she bid Cap a goodnight and made her way to her room, sleep evaded her. She spent what must have been at least two hours staring at the ceiling, listening to the sounds of the wind blowing outside.

She missed her family. Talking to Sophia's parents always helped dull that ache, but she assumed it would always be there. Just like Cap would always feel the absence of Bucky and the Howling Commandos, Katherine would always feel the absence of her little brother and parents. And it was this comparison that had her feeling guilty again for asking Cap to talk about the Commandos. If the situations were reversed, if it were him asking her to dive into her past, could she? She didn't think so.

Pulling her laptop onto her knees, she opened it up and let the soft light wash over her face, blinking against the sudden brightness. She pulled up a word document, typing down a couple of things she wanted to make sure to introduce Captain Rogers to. Encino Man, of course, but other things as well. As she was halfway down a decent list, however, she got an idea.

She went back to online shopping, finding a basic black notebook and put it in her cart to buy Monday morning. Then, another divine idea struck and she searched up some nice sketchbooks and colored pencils, adding them in with the iPod and notebook.

Lastly, she opened up her email and typed a quick letter.

_Fury, give me all you have on Howling Commandos. And all you've got on the Barnes siblings._


	6. Chapter Five

**SERGEANT JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES**

_Alias: Bucky Barnes_

_DOB: March 10, 1917_

_Death: February, 1945_

Most of the stuff on his file was redacted, simply because Howard Stark had requested it to be, probably out of respect for Captain Rogers and Annie Cohen. She didn't mind that his personal information was redacted. Hell, she appreciated that even dead, the man still had a sliver of privacy. It was the death date she was looking for anyway. And it wasn't Bucky's that she was focused on.

Four attachments sat in her email, untouched. Katherine wondered if she should leave them that way. Captain Rogers had explicitly stated that he didn't want to talk about the Barnes siblings because it made him upset, but shouldn't he know if the three of them were still alive? Katherine knew her answer easily enough. She would want to know. And so she dragged her finger on the touchpad of her laptop and opened the first file, Bucky's sister Rebecca.

**REBECCA WINIFRED PROCTOR NÉE BARNES**

_Alias: Becca Barnes-Proctor, Becky Barnes-Proctor_

_DOB: January 24th, 1922_

_Death: April 3rd, 2001_

Rebecca had grown up and married Robert Proctor, just like Captain Rogers has mentioned. Her two kids, a son named Robert and a daughter named Sandra, were still alive and lived in Shelbyville, Indiana, where Bucky had been born before moving to New York sometime before 1924, since Steve had mentioned the Barnes family being in New York for the first Thanksgiving Day Parade. She had done some corporate work for a printing company up until she was fifty and then had retired to live in Shelbyville with her husband and kids. Katherine felt her heart swoop into a dull pang of sadness that another Barnes sibling was lost, but comforted in the fact that she and her husband had seemed to live a long, happy life. She even had two grandchildren, Scott and Kimberly, who were alive and well. There were even a great-grandchild mentioned in her file, but Katherine had her answer on Rebecca's death and felt like she was intruding if she read more.

Katherine's finger moved on the touchpad again, bringing up Mary's information.

**MIRIAM ELIZABETH TOWNSEND NÉE BARNES**

_Alias: Mary Barnes-Townsend_

_DOB: August 19th, 1924_

_Death: October 2nd, 1986_

That one was hard to see, mostly because if Katherine's math was correct, Mary was only sixty-two when she died. She had married William Townsend, the guy Captain Rogers must have been talking about a couple of nights before. She had lived the rest of her life in Indiana, but not Shelbyville. She only had one child, a son named Patrick, and a granddaughter named Lillian, after Mary's youngest sister.

On the subject of Lillian, Katherine pulled up the last of the Barnes children.

**LILLIAN SHELBY MORITA NÉE BARNES**

_Alias: Lily Barnes-Morita_

_DOB: April 29th, 1929_

_Death: N/A_

What caught Katherine's eye wasn't the fact that Lillian Barnes wasn't dead yet. It was the fact that her married name was Morita. Shuffling through her emails, she found Fury's second email that contained the names of all the Howling Commandos. And sure enough, it was there in plain sight. Jim Morita, a Japanese-American soldier that fought with Captain Rogers in World War Two. The two had married in 1950, five years after Bucky's death and five years after Captain Rogers went into the ice. They had three children, all daughters, and while Jim had passed away in 2007, Lillian Barnes was still alive.

Katherine found the information fascinating. How did the two meet? Did they ever talk about Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes? Is that what had brought them together? Did they face challenges when they got back to normal society due to the ten-year age difference?

Even with the questions circling around in her head, she was happy for them. At least they had found some happiness in the world. The rest of Fury's information he had sent her was in another email file, but she closed her laptop and decided to look later. Even though she knew she was doing what was best for Captain Rogers, it still went behind his wishes to not know what happened to the Barnes sisters or his old Howling Commando buddies.

"Knock knock," a voice sounded from outside her door. Due to the general positivity the voice carried, she assumed it was Lionel. It wasn't that Captain Rogers was negative all the time, but he had a darker tone to his voice that was understandable considering what he's been through.

"Come on in, Lionel," Katherine called from her side of the door, and smiled when Lionel poked his head in, along with his arms that were carrying several boxes from Amazon. "Oh good, his stuff came in. I ordered him a couple of things, showed him how Cyber Monday worked." She pointed to the bed, instructing Lionel to set the boxes there. "Got your car keys on you?" Lionel handed them to her without question and she sliced through the top of the tape.

The first thing she pulled out was the notebook. She examined the black cover of it and nodded in appreciation. It wasn't anything special, but for the purpose she was thinking of, it would do. Then she pulled out the set of colored pencils. She didn't know which pencils were considered good for sketching, but they had gotten good reviews on them and when she had looked up the brand, there had been pictures of sample sketches using them. They worked pretty decently. The sketchbooks had brown leather covers that would hopefully hold up through the test of time, which was why she had been drawn to them in the first place.

But the thing she was most excited about was the iPod.

"He'll love that," Lionel mentioned, giving Katherine a smile. "Also, Fury approved the trip for next weekend. He was going to send an agent, but I convinced him not to. I figure between you and Captain America, you have all the protection you need."

"Thanks, Lionel. I appreciate it." She cocked her head to the side thoughtfully. "I haven't been to the zoo since I was twelve. I went with Sophia's family."

It had been her first trip after her family's death. Sophia had tried to keep her occupied and smiling, but when she had passed by the giraffes, she had started crying. Giraffes were her brother's favorite animal. Every time they had gone to the zoo when they were younger, he would cry because he wanted to set the giraffes free.

Shaking off the memory, she smiled at Lionel. "You staying for lunch?"

"Nope. Grandkids are flying in today, and I'm picking them up from the airport. They're gonna be staying with me for a couple of days."

"Bring them all over here for dinner one night. I'd love to see them."

"Will do. See you later, Katherine."

Katherine waved her hand in his direction, hearing her door click shut behind Lionel as he left. She grabbed the black notebook and a pen she had sitting on her bedside table, opening up the first page. Katherine had debated long and hard about what Captain Rogers should know coming into the twenty-first century and figured she could start a list for him. Of course, Katherine couldn't help but scribble down a few of her top candidates. There were some Swedish things that Captain Rogers just _had_ to know. Kate had just scribbled down Nordic Mythology and IKEA as she situated the rest of Cap's things under her arm, walking out of her room to meet him in the living room.

If there was one thing Captain Rogers loved getting acquainted with, it was Netflix. Ever since she had introduced it to him, he was hooked. He had gone through most of the cooking shows Netflix offered and had started on Parks and Rec at Katherine's suggestion, since season one had been added to Netflix. He looked up when he saw her and immediately stood to help her reliever some of the stuff from under her arm.

"What is all this stuff?" he questioned, raising a brow as Katherine thought of something else to scribble down in his notebook.

"Our Cyber Monday deals," she answered, giving him a warm smile. "Lionel left the laptop on the counter, right?" she asked. Captain Rogers nodded at her. "Good. We'll have to get that set up before we set up the iPod, but it's a pretty easy process. It just takes a while." She could see his eyes light up a bit at the iPod she handed him. He had been excited about the music player ever since she had shown him her own. She'd been letting him borrow her iPod when he worked out in the home gym, putting on playlists she thought he'd like.

"Can we get that ABBA band on it?" Another thing he had been getting acquainted with. He was now pretty used to walking into the kitchen to some kind of ABBA record playing while Katherine cooked.

"Sure," Katherine said, nodding and walking to where the laptop was. She opened the sleek top, staring at the "Welcome" page displayed on the screen. She didn't ask whether or not Captain Rogers was behind her, since she could feel his body heat. "So this is your laptop. We'll get you set up with a password so only you can get into it. I had it stored up with the most storage and memory, so you'll be able to put a lot of stuff onto it." She clicked a couple of keys and went through the process of setting up his laptop. When it came time for him to pick a password, she slid it over to her right. "Here, put in a password."

"Can't you put in a password for me?"

Katherine's brows raised. "I can, but then I would know it. The password is so you have your privacy, even from me. I recommend not doing your birthday, since that's pretty easy to guess. Usually it's a good idea to do a capital letter, a lowercase, and a couple of numbers."

"How will I remember it?" Cap asked.

"You can save it in your phone. Writing it down isn't a good idea because if that paper ever got lost then someone would have your password."

He looked incredulous, but she saw him type something on the keyboard, albeit at a much slower pace than she had. When the computer went to his new home page, Katherine slid it back over so it was in front of her.

"You can set a photo as your wallpaper or you can keep it as is, doesn't matter." She connected the laptop to the WiFi and pulled up the iTunes web page. Downloading the app, she clicked on it. "This is where you'll go if you want to add music." She typed in ABBA to the search bar.

His eyes were wide, like he couldn't believe this technology could exist. Katherine didn't think of Captain Rogers as a little kid; he had lived through a war and had fought with the kindred spirit of a warrior. But as she looked at him now, staring at the laptop screen as if he had been hit over the head with a thick book, she found herself comparing him to a child. There were still so many things about this world that he had to learn.

And Fury wanted her to make sure he _did_ learn.

"We can add some other music to it as well, but for now I'm just focused on showing you how to do it." She led him through the steps, the painstaking process of waiting for them to sync onto the device. When they were done, she handed him the iPod and headphones. "Give it a try."

He put the headphones in and she started up the ABBA album he had purchased. It was probably too loud, considering she could hear the music from where she was standing, but he looked so amazed that she couldn't fathom turning it down. "This is really cool!" he shouted, and Katherine had to fight back the urge to laugh.

She gently tugged one of the earbuds out of his ear. "I bought you a couple more things. I hope you don't mind." He set the iPod down on the counter and accepted the colored pencils and sketchbooks she handed him. "I know your file mentioned that you went to art school for a couple of semesters, so I bought these." She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly as he gazed at them like he was remembering something. "I don't know if they're the best of the best because I don't know anything about art, but they'll do."

"This was really considerate of you," he whispered, still staring down at the sketchbooks. "Thank you."

Her cheeks felt hot with the compliment. She wasn't used to receiving them much. "It's nothing, really. I also got you a 'To Discover' notebook." He took that from her hands too. "This notebook is for you to write in whenever someone references something you'd like to know more about. I put some Swedish things in there, but it was more of a joke than anything. I want you to seriously fill it out."

He set the colored pencils and sketchbooks down and opened up the little notebook. "IKEA?" he asked, raising a brow. She simply nodded. Wouldn't have been very Swedish of her if she hadn't included it. "Lingonberry juice?"

"My mom used to give me some when I was sick. It's too sugary on its own, though, so she watered it down some. Ironically, they sell it at IKEA."

"This is all too much, Agent Baker," Captain Rogers said with a shake of his head, trying to press the notebook back into her fingers. She refused to take the bait.

"This is all stuff that you can use, Cap. I'm not returning them and I have no use for them, so you can't give them back to me. You can't return things you bought on Cyber Monday." That was a complete fallacy, but she was counting on him not knowing enough about Cyber Monday to argue. "It's a thank you gift more than anything."

"A thank you gift?" he asked.

"A 'thank you for putting up with me gift.' I know this isn't your ideal situation and you know it isn't mine. But we're making it work."

"We're making it work," he repeated, nodding his head as if making it work was an assignment given to him by a Colonel.

You could take the man out of the war, Katherine mused, but you couldn't take the war out of the man.

* * *

For a Saturday afternoon, the Brandywine Zoo wasn't very crowded.

This was beneficial because it meant Fury kept his promise and the two of them could go to the zoo alone without any security. Why they would need security when she was a trained field agent and Captain Rogers was an enhanced super soldier, she had no clue. But she was grateful Fury had decided they could handle themselves.

"First is the Carota Education Pavilion. That's probably for schools that visit," Katherine mused, looking up at the hooded figure of Captain Rogers.

He was wearing a baseball cap Lionel had given him when Lionel and his grandkids had come over for dinner Wednesday night. It had been nice to chat with the little kids, and Katherine selfishly enjoyed seeing Captain Rogers interact with the kids. It was apparent that he was more comfortable with kids than he was adults, and the end of the night had Lionel's grandchildren nearly crawling in Cap's lap and fighting for his attention. It had been sweet to see. He also had on dark sunglasses, which were effective in hiding his face as well as shielding his eyes from the sun. For an early December day, it was sunny out.

Katherine was wearing something similar. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail at the nape of her neck and tucked into a baseball cap. Her sunglasses were more of a sepia tone, so instead of darkening everything they made things look yellow.

"The next thing is the condor exhibit," Katherine continued, looking at the map of the zoo. "Want to head over there?"

Captain Rogers nodded. She could tell by his stiff shoulders and posture that he wasn't entirely comfortable being out in the real world yet. While the idea of leaving the safe house had been a good one, and he hadn't been lying about feeling awful that Agent Baker was stuck there as long as he was, he still wasn't used to the new normal of everyday life in 2012.

"We can leave if you want," Katherine said, and he could hear that she was trying to keep the disappointment out of her tone. The past week he had watched her around the house; she had begun to get cabin fever. Steve had mentioned more than once that she was welcome to head out just to walk around if she wanted to get out of the house, but she was too committed to the task Fury had given her. The knowledge that they were actually _getting_ out of the house had made her even more antsy.

"No, no," he muttered under his breath so only she would hear. "I'm fine."

She didn't believe that for a second. "Seriously, it's okay. Lionel probably didn't get very far. We can call him—"

"I said I was fine," he cut her off, and she closed her mouth immediately. He felt guilty the second the words left his mouth. Here she was, trying to make him feel more comfortable, and he was being rude. "I'm sorry."

"The condors are this way," she said in a small voice, pointing her thumb behind her. Then, without waiting for him, she turned and started walking towards the exhibit.

Katherine more than anyone understood her bad days. What she didn't understand was why Captain Rogers was so stubborn. It was obvious he didn't want to be at the zoo and even though she was excited to get out of the house, she would go back with him without argument if he wanted to go back. He didn't need to take it out on her. She crossed her arms in front of her chest as she looked at the large birds, wondering if any of their bird companions had ever taken their anger out on another bird. Then she realized she was thinking about birds too deeply and let out an annoyed scoff.

She felt him behind her but didn't bother turning around. They stared at the birds in silence, her hands crossed and his in his pockets.

The next exhibit was the bobcats. Katherine felt the anger melt away a little as she made her way to the large cats, figuring that if he wasn't going to admit that he wanted to leave, then she was going to enjoy her day. The cats were sleeping, but there was one that was napping pressed up against the glass. Katherine could see the back of the beautiful animal, see its fur and patterned markings. She wondered if the hair was soft to the touch or coarse.

The zoo brought back memories of her family. Katherine wasn't surprised. Most everything these days reminded her of her family. Charlie had begged for Katherine to get elephant shaped lollipops with him and their faces were a canvas of purple and orange once they were done. They had visited the giraffes three times before they had left the zoo. Charlie had gotten a stuffed animal that Katherine still had in her quarters at S.H.I.E.L.D. somewhere.

"I'm sorry," Captain Rogers said again. They had moved from the bobcats to the red pandas, and Steve had noticed that Agent Baker was staring at them with a weird look on her face, like she was remembering something. When she hadn't moved in ten minutes, he had decided to speak up.

She didn't answer, but he didn't really expect her to.

"What's your favorite animal?" he asked suddenly to make conversation. She flinched, like he had just screamed the question at her.

"Giraffes," she responded in a quiet voice.

"Do they have any of those here?"

"No."

They both stared at the red pandas for several more moments. Steve stared because he was sure he'd never seen a panda that wasn't black and white, so he was mildly interested in the coloring of them. Katherine stared because she seemed to be rooted in her spot, like a memory was an anchor attached to her feet.

"It's kinda sad, isn't it?" he questioned. She didn't answer again, but her shoulder shifted in his direction to tell him that she was listening. "These animals are fun to see and everything, but it's sad that they're kept in cages. They don't know where their home is."

If Katherine hadn't perfected reigning in her emotions for the better part of her whole life, her knees might have buckled. _They don't know where their home is_. Did she? Did she know where she belonged? Was she just like these animals, kept in glass cages and only aware of the world they'd been thrown into? She had Sophia and Sophia's parents and that was the closest thing to a home she'd had since her family had died, but there was always something missing. A tiny hole in her heart that wasn't filled when Wendy called her _mija_ or when Timothy pat her on the shoulder in a comforting motion.

Home was standing with her mother in their living room, dancing to whatever song was on the radio while Charlie laughed on the couch. It was seeing her father come home from work, scoop Charlie up in his arms, and kiss Katherine on the head.

It was a life that Katherine would have had if things had turned out differently.

"They don't know anything else," she argued softly. "It's hard to miss something when you don't know anything different."

"Still," Captain Rogers trailed off, shrugging his shoulders, "it's sad to know they've got something better out there and they're stuck here."

"Maybe they've found home in one another," Katherine said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Do you really think you can find home in a person?"

Katherine didn't know. She'd found love and a sister in Sophia, a mother figure in Wendy, and a father figure in Timothy. But did those titles equal the feeling of being _home_? She didn't think so.

"I don't know. I hope so."

The rest of their walk around the zoo was spent in silence. Steve couldn't tell if Agent Baker had forgiven him for his earlier attitude or not, but she didn't seem especially angry anymore. Just defeated, like someone had sucked the life out of her. The trip that had her so excited at the beginning of the week had just opened a black hole that she couldn't get out of. Lionel noticed the stiffness of the both of them when he picked them up, but didn't mention anything as he drove them back to the safe house.

Katherine immediately walked to the kitchen to prepare them dinner. She didn't care if it was still a little bit early. Cooking needed just the right amount of concentration to ensure her mind didn't wander to other things, and she was pretty sure Captain Rogers could eat at any time of day and still be hungry for more. There wasn't much left in the fridge since Lionel was supposed to go grocery shopping the next day, but Katherine was able to scrounge around enough to make a kielbasa casserole her mother had made when Katherine was younger.

She saw Captain Rogers make his way to the couch to turn on the television. She wasn't sure what he decided to watch, but she didn't bother asking. The both of them were stuck in the kind of awkward silence that couldn't easily be broken. So Katherine continued her cooking and Captain Rogers continued to watch his show, both ignoring that fact that the longer the silence stretched on, the more tension grew in the room.

As a kid, Katherine was an over-sharer. She would tell a stranger on the street that her middle name was Marion, that her favorite color was white, and that her birthday was in April. It was habit her parents had tried to break on multiple occasions. It was great that she wanted to meet new people and interact with them, she remembered her father telling her. It just wasn't safe to do that. Still, even with their warnings, it hadn't stopped Katherine from sharing things. She just liked to open up to people.

It hadn't stopped when her parents died. She opened up to Sophia quickly. It hadn't happened when she'd gotten the job at S.H.I.E.L.D. She was more aware of the kind of information she was allowed to spread, but she hadn't stopped. She told Sharon Carter her favorite band was Duran Duran when Sharon had asked for music recommendations. She told Fury to try the sushi place a couple of blocks away from headquarters because she had tried it the week before and it was good.

No, her sharing had stopped that day in Austria, when she was standing over the bodies of the HYDRA agents she'd killed and wondering if this was what her life was going to be.

Now, she barely opened up to anyone.

Captain Rogers was an unfortunate recipient of that flaw.

It wasn't in her job description to open up to him. Fury wanted her to get him acquainted with the twenty-first century and that was exactly what she was doing. She didn't need to coddle him and tell him her life story. But maybe that's why he felt so uncomfortable telling her what was going on with him. She had to give to receive.

Why was that so hard for her?

The casserole had to cook for an hour, so Katherine put it in the oven and stood in the kitchen for at least five minutes, wondering if her presence would be welcomed if she walked out to the living room. He wouldn't be outwardly cold, Captain Rogers would never do that. But his posture might change. His demeanor might shift.

She risked it.

Her legs carried her to the living room and she gently lowered her body to the couch. He was watching more Netflix, some documentary she didn't recognize. He didn't seem to be paying attention much anyway. He had his 'To Discover' notebook opened in front of him on the coffee table and he had his sketchbook in his lap, the colored pencils next to his thigh. He was scribbling away on the pad, and though she couldn't see what he was drawing, he looked concentrated. She didn't bother him, curling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

It would be so easy. He asked what her favorite animal was when they were at the zoo. He knew it was giraffes. It would be so easy now to open her mouth, tell him why she liked giraffes. She could tell him that Charlie's room had been plastered with giraffes and that he had a stuffed animal giraffe he couldn't sleep without. She didn't have to tell him what happened to Charlie. He could guess. She wouldn't have to say the words _Charlie was dead_, and so shouldn't it be easy?

Her mouth opened and closed at least five times before she scowled at herself and rested her chin on the top of her knees.

And then, the white flag came.

"My favorite animals are monkeys," he mentioned offhandedly.

So used to the silence between them, she jumped a little bit at his proclamation. He was still scribbling on his sketchpad and not looking in her direction, but his hand was moving with less fervor than it had been when his attention had been entirely focused on his task.

"Why?" she asked softly.

He smiled wryly, as if lost in a nast memory. "It was a joke at first. It was right after I was injected with the serum. I was selling bonds, going around and putting on performances. I was a laughing stock."

"I'm sure that's not true."

He finally faced her, giving her a funny expression. "I was the star of a musical that made light of a war. War isn't fireworks and girls in American flag costumes. It's men laying down their lives. It's letters being sent home and loved ones having to read that someone's not coming back. I was a laughing stock."

She tilted her head to encourage him to continue.

"I was sitting after one of the performances, the worst one. Usually I performed for people who weren't involved in the war. This one was for soldiers that were fighting. They were disgusted with me. I was disgusted with myself. I was a circus monkey. Peggy came up to me afterwards, told me that I was made for more than the circus act. It was the first time I started to believe it."

"So why are they your favorite animal now?"

He shrugged. "A reminder that Peggy was right. I was made for more."

"Did you feel like a circus monkey when you woke up? When Fury told you what you were going to be doing?"

She had just realized that he never really had a choice in the matter. He had woken up, been told that he was going to Delaware with a woman he didn't know, and he was leaving in the morning.

"Yeah," he mentioned, then sent her a tiny smile. "Until I saw that S.H.I.E.L.D. was founded by the very person who knew I could be more than I was. I've put a lot of trust in S.H.I.E.L.D. More than I should have. But if this is how I connect with Peggy… then so be it."

"You aren't a circus monkey anymore, you know. We value you. For more than the fact that you're Captain America."

He didn't reply, but she could tell that he didn't fully believe her.

Suddenly, she wanted him to trust her. She wanted him to know about her, because she wanted to know about him. She wanted to know more things like what he had shared. It would make the next six months easier if they could trust each other.

"My brother's favorite animals were giraffes. That's why they're my favorite."

His eyes met her. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she confirmed, nodding.

They sat in the weight of what she'd just revealed. And like word vomit, more came. "His name was Charlie."

"Was?"

"Was," she repeated, clutching her legs a little bit tighter in her arms. "He was seven."

"And how old were you?"

She didn't need to ask what he meant. How old were you when he died? How old were you when your life fell apart? "Ten."

She had once told him that S.H.I.E.L.D. had saved her life and that she'd moved to America to live at the facility when she was ten. She wondered if he put the dots together.

Their dinner was spent in silence. It wasn't the first time they'd been silent around each other, and she was certain it wouldn't be the last. But this silence was the heaviest, like it meant more than the others. She made some excuse about needing to get some sleep and retreated to her room for the night after the kitchen was cleaned. In reality, she knew sleep would evade her for hours to come. Nevertheless, she changed into her pajamas and let her body flop back on the bed.

Katherine stared at the ceiling for hours. And then, she heard it. The sound of shuffling footsteps coming towards her door. She sat up a little in her bed and saw the shadow of Captain Rogers's feet outside of her door. She wondered if he would knock, if he wanted to talk to her about something. But he just stood there for thirty seconds and then retreated, his shadow leaving as his body moved away from her door.

Curiously, she stood and walked over to her door, opening it up. He was nowhere to be seen, but there was a thin sheet of paper by her feet. Gingerly picking it up, her throat closed when she examined the picture he had drawn.

A circus monkey and a giraffe, hidden behind the glass case of a zoo exhibit.

* * *

_Hope you guys enjoyed!_


	7. Chapter Six

Captain Rogers had been gone for three hours.

This shouldn't have been alarming. He was out with Lionel, on a trip he had requested and gotten cleared a week ago by Fury himself. Lionel had picked him up, surprising Katherine, who had no idea about the little outing, and had left. After weeks of constantly being by his side and making sure he was adjusting accordingly, she felt almost lonely in the safe house by herself.

Their problems weren't magically solved with the picture of the giraffe and the circus monkey. She still had trouble sharing information about herself, and he still woke up from nightmares in the middle of the night. Their mornings in the home gym were served as their neutral ground, where they both sweat and worked in silence until Katherine eventually left to take a shower. Captain Rogers had taken it upon himself to be their official post-workout breakfast maker, and she was happy to see that he was learning his way around the kitchen pretty well.

Overall, there was a nice routine that Katherine had found herself getting used to. Which is why the silence in his absence seemed that much more deafening.

Christmas was in two weeks, which meant Katherine was starting to feel the loneliness seep in. She was used to Christmases without her family, but it never got easier. Having decided that whoever first said "time heals all wounds" was full of shit, she had long since accepted that Christmases were just going to be hard. But this Christmas was different. This time, she had to pull herself together to make sure it was a decent day for Captain Rogers. Which meant, of course, decorating the safe house.

The attic had a bunch of old Christmas decorations (something she'd have to ask Fury about, because she had no clue why they were up there) that she'd found when she hadn't been able to sleep at three in the morning the previous week and had wandered up to the attic. She'd have to get a tree, but there were ornaments and generic stockings in some red and green boxes that sat untouched in the corner of the small attic space. She crouched into the small space and dragged the boxes to the lip of the ladder that led upwards, carefully grasping one and lifting it out of the attic. Once she was sure she wasn't going to drop anything, she set the box on the floor and went to retrieve the other one.

Briefly, she wondered if she should even bother. Maybe he didn't even celebrate Christmas. It's not like his S.H.I.E.L.D. files mentioned anything about a religion. But then she decided that even if he didn't celebrate, it would still be nice to spruce up the house a little bit. Make it feel like it was somewhere he could come and relax instead of a safe house for an assignment.

So, she spent the next hour hanging up Christmas decorations. She put out miniature Santas (after dusting them off) and hung up lights with bulbs that needed to be replaced. She cleared a space in the living room for a tree, and set the small box of ornaments next to the space so they would be ready when Captain Rogers wanted to decorate. She set out the red plates with holly painted on them, and hung up the stockings only after writing their names on them with a Sharpie.

It wasn't much, but maybe it would make the both of them feel better.

She heard the door's keypad unlock and she waved when Lionel and Captain Roger walked through the door. They both had several bags in their hands, and Katherine could see that the Captain had stocked up on winter clothes. He probably wouldn't need them with how fast his body burned, but understood that it was the principle of the thing. She smiled at the two men. "Hi, boys. Was wondering when you guys would get back."

"Did you do this all yourself?" Captain Rogers asked, his eyes wide as he took in the decorations. There were still some littered across the living room floor, waiting to be put somewhere, but for the most part Katherine was finished.

"Yep. Found some Christmas decorations in the attic. They were pretty dusty, but I figured I could make them work."

"You should have waited for me," he said, but gave her a grateful look. He understood that she was trying to spread some holiday cheer among their situation. "I would have helped."

"It wasn't hard to do. Where did you guys run off to?"

Captain Rogers held up his bag with a sheepish smile. "Went crazy and got some new winter clothes. Also helped Lionel pick up the groceries this time."

"He also helped me pick out a toy for my new grandson. Got him a cute stuffed monkey."

"I'm sure he'll love it," Katherine mentioned, smiling softly. It was...nice to do all these domestic things. It had been so long since she'd had that chance. "And everything went...okay?"

He knew what she was asking. How was being out in the real, twenty-first century world? He shared a look with Lionel. There had been a moment, just a moment, when they'd been in a toy store and a toy train had let out a loud whistle. He'd been swarmed with memories of 1944, of seeing Bucky reaching out but not making it there in time. Lionel had been kind, distracting him with talk about his kids and grandkids until Steve's breathing had returned to normal. Steve had made him promise he wouldn't mention anything to Katherine.

Lionel gave him a nod and Steve breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Things were fine. Lots of people," he replied to her question nonchalantly.

"Yeah, that's the worst part about Christmas. There'll be crowds anywhere you go." She unfurled a strand of tinsel and aimlessly hung it over the fireplace. "What are you boys doing tonight?"

The two men looked at each other and shrugged. When Steve had requested the outing with Lionel, it hadn't included anything for that night. "Nothing I can think of. Why?"

He followed the finger she pointed to the empty space she had created. Guiltily, he realized she'd had to move the chair without him. He should've been around to help her. Though, he remembered the muscles he'd gotten a glimpse of that morning when they had been in the home gym and decided she probably hadn't even broken a sweat. "Made a space for a tree. I was figuring we could go and pick one out, since I've got a super soldier to help me carry it."

She had the satisfaction of watching a genuine smile spread across Captain America's face. She'd been trying to suggest outings to him ever since their disastrous first try at the zoo. So far he'd been to get the groceries with Lionel twice and had accompanied her to the post office so she could get more stamps. She hadn't even needed to mail anything, but she had noticed he was getting antsy just sitting around the house so she had made up an excuse to get him out.

"Sure. We getting a real one or a fake one?"

That stopped her in her tracks. She hadn't even thought about it. Getting a fake one would be convenient because she could just put it up in the attic again when Christmas was over. It also wouldn't drop pine needles all over the floor. But her parents had always gotten a real tree for Christmas, and she remembered the joy and excitement she felt going to pick it out with them each year. She'd take sweeping up pine needles if it meant she got to feel that little bit of home again. "I was thinking real. That alright with you?"

His grin widened, and Katherine blinked against the brightness of it. It was times like this, when he was genuine and real and not trying so hard to tiptoe around her, that she realized just how handsome the Captain was.

"No offense, but if a Christmas tree isn't real, it's pointless."

She let out a chuckle. "I'm glad we agree."

Lionel shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing wrong with a fake tree. My wife and I loved them, especially when we got the cats. Little suckers tried to crawl up all the time. When we got a fake tree, pine needles stopped falling everywhere when they climbed up."

"You okay with driving us, Lionel?"

He waved her off. "Don't worry about it. I'm going to go back to the apartment and freshen up before we go."

"Thanks for going with me this morning, Lionel," Captain Rogers said, and they shook hands. Katherine tried not to smile.

"Anytime, Steve. I'll see you guys tonight. I think the tree lot I saw earlier closes at eight, so I'll grab you guys at six-thirty?"

"Sounds like a plan. Thanks, Lionel." Katherine gave him a quick hug and closed the door behind him, locking it.

Then it was just she and Captain Rogers.

"I'm going to go put this stuff away. You doing anything for dinner tonight?" She noticed he didn't ask it in a way that meant he _expected_ her to make dinner, but rather simply asking if she had already decided what she was going to cook. It was something small, but she appreciated it nonetheless.

"I was thinking some soup. Something about decorating for Christmas makes me want soup. Maybe we can convince Lionel to drive us to the store after we get the tree and get some chocolate chip cookie mix."

He gave her a sheepish look. "I've got to say… I like sugar cookies better."

Katherine stared at him for a moment, eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar. Finally, after what felt like an eternity (and after ignoring the chuckles Captain Rogers was letting out), she shook her head. "I… I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear you say that."

"Pretend all you want. It's laid out in the open."

"Something about Christmas is making you act differently," she stated. When he glanced at her in confusion, she tried to clarify. "It just seems like you're more… I don't know. Lighter. Happier. It's nice to see. Gives me a glimpse into Steve Rogers and not just Captain America." Remembering that Lionel had addressed the Captain by his first name, she turned. "And when did Lionel start calling you by your first name?"

He shrugged. "It got weird with him calling me Cap all the time. It was just easier for him to call me Steve. And I prefer Steve, anyway. Makes me feel like less of a—"

"Circus monkey," she interrupted, sending him a gentle look as if to soften the blow of her statement.

But he didn't seem to be offended. He just nodded. "Yeah, less of a circus monkey." They were quiet for a few moments, Katherine getting things out of the fridge to start on a vegetable soup. It was broken when Cap's voice suddenly rang out, "you can call me Steve. If you want."

She paused. Turning to look at him, she noticed he was sitting on the arm of the couch, but his eyes weren't on her. They were on the floor, where his foot was tapping a nearly silent rhythm. She wondered if it was a nervous tick he picked up back before the serum. "Do you want me to call you Steve?"

He shrugged again. His eyes didn't leave his feet. "If you want. It was just a suggestion."

But she could understand where he was coming from. Back when she was a field agent, all they called her was Silhouette. She had this magical ability to remain shielded from view, like a shadow creeping up on its prey and leaping. No one besides Sophia ever saw her as anything more than that. The first time Sharon Carter had addressed her as Katherine, she had burst into tears. To know that Sharon had seen her as something more than just an agent made her feel like less of an asset. More of a person.

Now, she imagined that feeling and multiplying it by a hundred. And that's how Captain America was feeling. No, that's how _Steve Rogers_ was feeling.

"Okay," she said quietly, "but only if you call me Katherine. None of this Agent Baker stuff."

He looked up from his shoes and gave her a look. It wasn't a smile, and it wasn't a look of understanding, but it meant something. She could feel it. So, she wiped her hands on the towel next to the sink and walked over to where he was sitting, holding out her palm to him.

"Hi, my name's Katherine."

The corner of his lip twitched and he pressed his own palm against hers, shaking her hand. His hands were warm and engulfed hers completely. "Hi Katherine. I'm Steve. It's nice to meet you."

"It'll only be nice to meet you if you tell me that you like chocolate chip cookies better than sugar cookies. If you don't, I don't see any reason for further communication."

He gave her a mock-serious look. "Then I guess this is the end of our acquaintanceship. It was a pleasure to meet you, anyway."

They locked eyes for a beat, and then couldn't help the laughs that left the both of them.

* * *

The Christmas tree lot in Wilmington didn't have a ton of selections, but Katherine was certain they'd find their tree. Lionel had driven them and was currently looking around for a small tree he could keep in his apartment that Fury was providing him with during the duration of the safehouse stint. Katherine wanted something huge, though, and luckily Captain Rogers felt the same.

"Is Christmas your favorite holiday?" he asked as they walked through the rows of trees. He had one of his new jackets on, a comfy looking brown leather. Due to his superhero metabolism, he didn't get cold very easily. Katherine, on the other hand, was bundled up. Even so, her breath still left her mouth in little puffs of condensation.

"One of them. There's also Midsummer, which we celebrated back in Sweden. It's usually in the spring and it's like a big springtime celebration held outside."

"We should celebrate it," he suggested, and Katherine smiled.

"I haven't celebrated it since I was nine. I wouldn't even know how to celebrate it anymore. And something tells me you wouldn't like the food we eat. Pickled herring and stuff of the like." At Captain Rogers's disgusted expression, she let out a laugh. "I'm perfectly fine celebrating the traditional American holidays. What about you? I assume it's Independence Day."

"Funny," he drawled out, rolling his eyes at her attempt at a joke. "It's probably Christmas. Reminds me of home."

Katherine hummed thoughtfully. They continued down the line of trees, each one being either too small or too sparse. "Any Christmas traditions?"

"Just Bucky, Annie, and I hanging out. Bucky would come and help my ma and I cook. When she died, his family took me in every Christmas. Rebecca would always bring home one of her girlfriends to try and set me up with. I'd get shy and embarrass myself and Bucky and Annie would laugh."

"You like any of them?"

He had a shy smile on his face and a cute pink that flashed across his cheeks. "I thought Beatrice Turner was pretty. Nothing ever came out of it. I was too preoccupied with Bucky and Annie." Glancing down at her, he asked, "What about you? Anyone you liked?"

"I had a boyfriend when I was younger and in my rebellious phase. His name was Ian Chu and I was absolutely in love with him." She rolled her eyes in the Captain's direction.

"Things end badly?"

"Actually, no. We just grew up. I realized I couldn't date someone just because I wanted to be rebellious, he realized he wanted someone who didn't keep secrets from him." At the look he gave her, she returned a grim smile. "S.H.I.E.L.D. affects a lot of personal relationships. I cried for two weeks when we broke up. I'm not sure what happened to him."

"Sorry."

She shrugged. "It is what it is. I don't harbor any feelings for him anymore. Occasionally I'll wonder what he's up to. Mostly I just wish things with S.H.I.E.L.D. could be different." She snorted then, as if remembering something. "I went on a date with a guy a couple years back. He was a jerk. Sophia punched him in the face."

"She's scary," he commented.

Katherine laughed. "She gets it from her mom. Wendy's sweet until you cross her."

"Does she have any siblings?"

She wasn't sure when they started discussing personal things, but she found she didn't mind. It was nice to share something with someone again. "Nope. Just Sophia. Wendy and Timothy always wanted more kids, but things didn't work out. They adopted Sophia when she was born."

That was the moment people usually gasped in shock, like being adopted was something to be ashamed of. Somehow, Katherine knew he wouldn't do that. Still, it was a relief when the news didn't even faze him. He nodded thoughtfully and continued to walk, pointing out trees he thought might be candidates.

As much as she missed Sophia and the facility, Wilmington was pretty beautiful around Christmastime. The snow on the ground was fresh, making it the pretty white kind that Katherine saw in movies. The tree lot was filled with the scent of the trees, like she and Captain Rogers had stepped into a candle store that only sold pine scented products.

The two continued their search until they rounded a corner and came upon a tree that fit both their requirements. It was huge, standing even a foot over Captain Rogers in height, and was full with sprigs. They might have had to buy a skimpy star to go on top because she wasn't sure if a big star would fit between the tree and ceiling, but it was the perfect tree.

"This is it," Katherine announced, smiling brightly. "Let me go get an employee to help us cut it."

The employee was a scraggly teenager who looked like he couldn't lift five pounds, but he cut through the tree with the experience of someone who had worked there for years. Captain Rogers didn't need any help carrying it, simply picking it up by the trunk, but Katherine grabbed onto the other end to keep it from toppling him over. When Lionel saw them lugging out the tree, he opened up the trunk and strapped it in. His little tree went in next to it.

"Looks good," Lionel said happily, once the trees were secured. "Grocery store for cookie stuff?"

"Yes," Katherine replied, nodding happily. Maybe it was the Christmas spirit, but she was feeling lighter, just like she had mentioned Captain Rogers was feeling just hours prior. She sat in the front with Lionel while Cap stayed in the backseat, holding onto the tree so it didn't fall out of the trunk. The ride to the store was chilly, due to the trunk still being slightly ajar to accommodate their giant tree, but Katherine was too happy to care.

Getting the cookie stuff wasn't difficult at all. Captain Rogers, who didn't know pre-made cookie dough existed, stared at it in amazement for a couple of seconds before Katherine had to prompt him to start heading to the checkout. She wondered what other small things she took for granted would shock him. They checked out and walked back to Lionel's car.

It was a hassle trying to fit the tree through the front door of the safehouse, but with Lionel inside directing them on which way to turn, it ended up in the spot Katherine had created for it without too much of a hassle. Lionel left them with a goodbye and a quick hug to Katherine and handshake to Captain Rogers, promising that he'd be back soon to take Katherine up on her offer of cookies.

"I'll get the oven started if you want to put the star on top," Katherine suggested, making her way to the kitchen. She laid out the ingredients of the cookies and got out two bowls for each mixture. Though she didn't agree with his cookie preferences, she'd be nice and make him his boring sugar. It didn't take her long to whip up the two dough mixtures, and she dolloped a little bit of the sugar cookie dough onto a spoon. "Want to try the dough?"

"Isn't that bad for you?" he asked, walking into the kitchen. He had a couple of pine needles stuck to his jacket.

"No one really listens to that rule."

He chuckled and took the spoon from her hand. "My ma used to slap me on the butt with a wooden spoon if I tried to eat some of the dough. Only got away with it once."

"My brother and I always fought over which one of us got to have the spoon and try the dough," Katherine mentioned offhandedly, getting some of her chocolate chip mixture on her own spoon. "Eventually she just started getting out two spoons."

The dough was good, but needed a little more salt. As she reached for the salt shaker on the counter, she heard him shuffle his feet awkwardly. "Do you miss him?"

To her credit, she didn't freeze when he asked her. But she was silent as she dashed a pinch of salt into her bowl and started mixing it again. It wasn't as if the topic of her brother was off-limits. She was the one who had brought it up. But talking about him made her chest ache. And so she found she could only nod to his question.

"What was he like?"

She started to roll the dough into balls, setting them on the cookie sheet. "Annoying."

He granted her a small smile. "I think all little siblings are. Bucky used to spend the night at my place just to get away from his sisters. Annie was lucky. She didn't have any."

Katherine let out a chuckle, but they both could tell it wasn't genuine. "He always got into my things. For my seventh birthday, I asked for a lock on my door because he always tried to come in without knocking. But he was a good sport. He always came to my tea parties and didn't tell me it was too girly for him or anything. My parents always said he looked up to me, but god knows why." She took a break from the dough and leaned against the counter, looking up to meet Captain Rogers's eyes. "Looking back, he was probably my best friend." Katherine held her hand out for his empty spoon and he handed it to her without protest. "He, like you, preferred sugar cookies over chocolate chip."

"Sounds like we'd get along."

"You would. He had that way about him. Even as a kid, I recognized it." She wondered what Charlie would be like now, grown up. He would have been twenty-two. Maybe he would have been in college, studying to be an engineer. Or maybe he would have been more into English, striving to become an author. Maybe he would already be married. The what-ifs were more painful than anything.

Katherine pushed her body away from the counter and started back on her cookie dough. "Once I'm done here I can put on a Christmas movie or something. We can watch it while we decorate the tree."

"Sure, whatever you want. We just might have to go and get a new tree topper. The star doesn't fit."

* * *

Katherine always woke up too early on Christmas. Pairing this with the recent development of getting up at three to go workout in the home gym, Katherine was awake at two on Christmas morning.

Though her entire body screamed at her to go back to bed, she couldn't. Her brain was too awake, wheeling around in her head and demanding that she get up. She sighed out and slipped out of her bed, changing into some leggings and a warm thermal shirt. Since it was Christmas, she would indulge herself and not workout. Instead, she would start a fire and make herself some hot chocolate until Captain Rogers inevitably woke up shortly after she did.

She wasn't expecting his door to be open.

When she padded her way out into the living room, he was already trying to set up a Christmas movie on the TV. It was hard, because he hadn't turned on any lights in fear of waking her up and so it was still nearly pitch black in the room. She saw his silhouette straighten and heard him clear his throat. "Merry Christmas. Didn't expect you to be awake."

"Same here," Katherine replied, flicking on a light switch. His eyes squinted against the light like a child. She found it endearing. "I was going to make myself some hot chocolate. Want some?"

"That sounds really good, actually," he decided.

"No gym today?" she asked as she walked to the kitchen. Reaching for two mugs, she started the process of warming up milk.

"Figured today could be our day off. I tried to sleep in, but…" he trailed off. Katherine wondered if his nightmares woke him up just as often as hers did. "My ma used to have a rule that I couldn't wake her up before six. I would sit in my bed for hours waiting to be able to wake her up."

"Sophia and I were the same way when we were younger. Now I have to wake her up to celebrate. She'd sleep all day if she could." She wondered if Sophia was just now getting to bed. Sophia pulled pretty long nights at work. "Is it too early to make breakfast?" she joked.

"Probably," he chuckled.

It would just be the two of them. Lionel had flown out to be with his family. Fury had asked if she and Captain Rogers had needed to be cleared for any outings, but she couldn't imagine anything being open on Christmas and so it was pointless. It was quiet compared to the Christmas mornings she was used to. Her family had been bundles of energy and she had been awoken by Charlie jumping on her bed. When she moved in with Sophia's family, Wendy's family usually came over Christmas morning so there was always hustle and bustle.

It was weirdly nice sitting in the silence.

"Well, we can put on a Christmas movie while we wait for it to actually be sunny outside."

They picked whatever Christmas movie popped up when they turned the TV on and drank their hot chocolate in relative silence. Everything seemed so much calmer in the morning, as they watched the sun rise and got through two movies. It was a Christmas morning, she realized, she would probably remember for the rest of her life.

Around six, when they had made their way through two movies and were starting on their third, she stood to go make breakfast. However, Captain Rogers halted her movements when he spoke. "I...um...I got you a gift."

She raised her eyebrows. "You got me a gift? How?"

He rubbed the back of his neck as his cheeks flushed. She realized the neck rub was a nervous habit and found it endearing. "When I went out with Lionel a couple weeks ago. It's not much, but I saw it and thought of you."

"Those are the best Christmas gifts," she whispered, giving him a small smile to let him know that she appreciated it. "I got you something too."

And that was how the two of them found themselves sitting on the couch, facing each other. He held a medium-sized green and gold box in his hands, complete with a bright red bow. She had a small silver box in hers, with a small silver ribbon. "Open them at the same time?"

"No," he argued, shaking his head. "I always like to see people's reactions when they open their gifts. You go first."

She hated people staring at her when she opened gifts, but she conceded. The ribbon was easy to slide off the box, and she gently lifted the lid when the ribbon fell discarded to the floor. Inside was a small porcelain giraffe Christmas ornament hanging from a pretty gold string.

Katherine's throat tightened.

"I'm sorry it's not much. I just thought you would like it."

"I love it," she said quickly, not wanting him to think that her silence was because she didn't appreciate it. "It's perfect."

He rubbed his neck again. "It reminded me of you. And I hoped it would remind you of your brother."

Deciding that she didn't need to burst into tears in front of him, she hurriedly gestured towards the box on his lap. "Open yours," she said, hoping her voice didn't sound thick with emotion. She watched as he peeled the wrapping paper carefully, like she was going to save it, and saw the scrapbook.

"There's a place that makes scrapbooks if you turn in some photos," she explained as he stared down at the gift. Gently, he opened the cover and stared at the picture. "I asked Fury for all of the photos and news clippings he had on the Howling Commandos. I thought it might be nice to have something personal to look at when you miss them."

She saw his Adam's apple bob and thought he might be as emotional as she was. He was staring down at a photo of him, Bucky, and Annie, black and white in color and stained yellow around the edges with age, but he was looking at it like it was his most prized possession. "This is… I don't know what to say."

"I know the feeling," she said softly, holding up her giraffe. "I guess there's just… thanks. And Merry Christmas."

"Thanks," he repeated, turning another page in his book. When he looked up at her, his eyes were glossy. "And Merry Christmas."

* * *

_Hope you guys enjoyed as much as I enjoyed writing! That could just be because I love Christmas though. If you want to see more on Katherine and Disfigure as a whole, check out my tumblr** fleetwoodmcs**!_


	8. Chapter Seven

Now that the two of them had been in safe house for about two months, Fury was letting them go out with minimal clearance.

Which is how they found themselves standing in the Delaware Art Museum.

Katherine never went to many museums in her life. One, she'd ever really had time when she was a field agent, and two because she wasn't entirely enamored with art. She'd rather watch a movie and see the visuals play out in front of her. The day they could make artwork move was the day she'd probably enjoy it more. Captain Rogers, however, was different. He loved art. When she had told him after their gym session that morning that they were going to go to the museum, his face lit up in a way she hadn't seen before.

They were learning more and more about each other as time stretched on. He ate his eggs with ketchup. He always started with boxing when they worked out. He had nightmares. She was sure he was picking up just as much little tidbits of information from her. Maybe he took notice of the fact that she rarely wore bright colors, that she had a birthmark on her arm near the crease of her elbow, or that she only wore one piece of jewelry— a simple, silver, pendant-less chain that hung from her neck.

Perhaps the one thing she learned about him the most was his affinity for art.

He used the sketchbook she got him religiously. He was always scribbling down little doodles and sketches, and when she managed to get a glimpse at one, she realized he was _fantastic_. It was no wonder he'd wanted to pursue it if he hadn't become a soldier. Which was why she had called the Delaware Art Museum to see if they did any classes for adults. They didn't, but they said they'd make an exception for Captain America, naturally.

Their art lesson was to begin at noon, and it was nearing eleven forty-five. Captain Rogers still had no idea, but it was hard to imagine him being even more excited than he already was at that moment. He was walking through the halls of the museum, eyes wide behind his fake glasses and underneath his Yankees hat. She had laughed when he was informed that the Dodgers were no longer in New York but in California. The look on his face was priceless, if not a little melodramatic. So when he had done Christmas shopping with Lionel, he had picked up the Yankees cap and scowled vehemently at the Dodgers one, as if the team had personally wronged him.

"These are incredible," he mentioned. They were in the contemporary art section. He had marveled over the sculptures in the garden, eyes pouring over the artwork until she was afraid his eyes were glued there.

"I'm glad you like them," Katherine said. Though she wasn't an art buff by any means, it was exciting watching him get excited. It was rare. She liked the moments when the shadows of his past forgot to follow him somewhere. "I've got another small surprise for you."

His eyebrows raised. "Another surprise?"

Katherine nodded. "One of the artists for their contemporary section agreed to do a private art lesson with us. We're scheduled in fifteen minutes."

"We're...we're going to get to paint?"

"Paint, sketch, sculpt. She said she's going to lay out a ton of mediums and teach us a little bit of everything. Her name's Sonya Clark. She mostly does sculptures." They came across her sculpture in the section they were in and Katherine pointed her art out. "I hope that's okay."

"It's fantastic." He smiled shyly at her. "Thanks, Katherine."

That was another thing she was getting used to. She was so used to hearing him call her Agent Baker that sometimes he said her name and she didn't realize he was talking to her. It was the same with her own conditioning. Sometimes she almost slipped and called him Captain Rogers before she remembered that he wanted to be more than just Captain America. Just like she wanted to be more than Silhouette.

"No problem. Sonya said to meet her at the front desk, so we've got to head back that way." She threw her thumb over her shoulder. And though Steve was enamored with the art in front of him, he must have been itching to get his hands on a sketch of his own, because he started walking in the direction she pointed without hesitation.

Sonya was a nice woman. She shook Steve's hand immediately and smiled whenever Steve asked a question about what they were going to do. She led the two of them back into the studio of the museum, where Katherine could see canvases, brushes, pencils, and clay. Steve wanted to start with sketching, so Sonya set a generic bowl of fruit in front of them and asked them to practice that first.

"I'm terrible at drawing," Katherine found herself telling Steve when she started to try and sketch an oval shape for the top of the bowl.

"No one's terrible at it," Sonya said, catching Katherine's whispered confession. "People just have different styles."

Katherine had to disagree, considering the apple she was trying to draw was too fat and resembled a pumpkin more than anything. She didn't dare look over at Steve's sketch because she knew she'd just feel bad about her own work if she did.

"That's not the fruit bowl," Sonya suddenly said. Katherine tensed up, knowing that Sonya was probably talking to her and about to let her know how awful her drawing was, when she realized it was Steve that Sonya had directed her comment to. Katherine leaned over to get a peek of his sketch.

Sonya was half-wrong. He had drawn the fruit bowl, in the right hand corner of the paper (which looked like the most impeccable fruit bowl she'd ever seen in her life). However, that wasn't the focus of the picture. Because across from the bowl on the left side of the paper, was a mirror image of Katherine with her canvas, tongue stuck out a little in concentration.

"You looked really determined so I wanted to draw that," Steve mentioned quietly, his cheeks pink and his gaze lowered. He looked so shy in that moment that Katherine itched to take his embarrassment away.

"It looks wonderful, Steve," she said quietly. And it truly did. Katherine didn't know how to draw faces, but Steve most definitely didn't have the same problem. If anything, his drawing was a little too gracious in its portrayal of her. His cheeks were still pink as he nodded his head in acknowledgement of her praise before he went back to sketching.

After their portraits were drawn out, Sonya let them paint. Katherine was a little better with a paintbrush than she was with the sketching pencils because if she messed up a painting, she could just label it as her own personal style. After painting, when Katherine had a red pumpkin-fat apple combination, Sonya started laying out small slabs of clay for them to work with.

"This is what I'm most comfortable with," Katherine said happily as they finished their paintings and made their way to the clay. "I did ceramics once when I was little. I loved it."

Sonya instructed them to try and make a clay replica of their apples. Katherine, feeling the most confident with the clay, started molding the shape of her apple immediately, dipping her hands in water to keep the clay damp so it was easier to shape. Unlike with sketching and painting, Steve seemed to have some trouble with sculpting.

"It's nice to know you aren't good at everything," Katherine said in a sing-song voice. Steve merely chuckled at her.

"I'm definitely not good at everything. Or did you not see the files on me from before the serum?"

"That was _before_ the serum, though."

Steve shrugged. "Still the same guy."

Katherine wasn't sure if she'd offended him with her comment, so she didn't reply, growing quiet as she continued to mold her apple. When she risked a glance at him, he was giving her a knowing smile, one that said he knew her worries about offending him and that she hadn't.

Their apples, once molded into the shape they wanted, were put into the kiln. They would have to come back in the next couple of days to glaze them, which Sonya said was painting the color onto them, and then they'd go back into the kiln again. After setting up an appointment to come back and paint them, Steve and Katherine left the museum, covered in paint and clay but wearing smiles.

"That was amazing," Steve said happily as they walked down the street. "Thanks for setting that up, Katherine."

"My pleasure. It's always nice to see how much artistic talent I _don't_ have."

Steve laughed, and the sound was so free and happy that it made Katherine feel lighter. That lightness, however, disappeared when she realized she couldn't see Lionel's car. "I forgot to text Lionel when we got out."

"Text him now," Steve suggested.

"Yeah. It'll probably just take him a while, so we'll have to wait. Sorry about that." She got her phone out and started drafting a text to Lionel when Steve stopped her, his hand coming to rest on her arm and halting her typing fingers. "What?"

"There's a diner over there. Let's take the day off from cooking and we can text Lionel when we're almost done."

The diner in question was a small little hole-in-the-wall, made up of a variety of tables and chairs that all seemed mismatched but also seemed to go together in a strange way. Katherine stared at it for a few moments before nodding. "Sure. Sounds good."

They made their way to the entrance of the diner and Katherine smiled when Steve held the door open for her. She was still getting used to his weird chivalrous gestures. It wasn't that she lamented the fact that men didn't do stuff like that anymore, because honestly, she didn't care much. But it was still funny to see what kind of manner stuck with him in the twenty-first century.

The sign told them to seat themselves, so they chose a booth in the back of the restaurant, perpendicular to the front because they both liked to keep an eye on the door. An elderly woman came by and handed them menus.

"What can I get you to drink?" Her voice was low and raspy, like she had smoked for the better part of her life.

"Water for me," Katherine ordered, her eyes flickering to Steve.

"Could I get a Coke?" Another thing he had been happy about this time period. Coke was still around and relatively cheap.

"We don't have Coke. Pepsi okay?"

Steve's eyes moved to Katherine, wide and slightly panicked because he didn't know what Pepsi was. "That'll be great," Katherine said for him, smiling at the waitress. When she left with their drink orders, Katherine explained. "Pepsi's in the same vein as Coke. It's another kind of soda."

"We call it pop," Steve mentioned.

"Sorry. It's another kind of _pop_," Katherine exaggerated sarcastically while Steve grinned. "If you don't like it, we can get you something else. No big deal. I don't really taste a difference between the two, but a lot of people do. We'll see if you're a soda snob or not."

"A soda snob? Harsh words."

Katherine shrugged and opened up her menu, trying to hold in her laughter. The two of them examined their menus in silence when the waitress came back with their drinks. "You ready to order?"

"Could we have a couple more minutes, please? Thanks," Katherine said when the waitress nodded and moved away. "I want to see the look on your face when you try Pepsi."

"It's not a monumental thing," Steve argued, rolling his eyes.

"It is. Captain America's first time trying Pepsi. Next week, we'll try frozen Eggo waffles."

That caught Steve's attention. His nose wrinkled in disgust. "Frozen...waffles?"

"Just drink the Pepsi."

He raised the cup to his mouth and took a decent swig. When he lowered it back down to the table, he chuckled at the expression that must have been on her face. "It's decent. Not as good as Coke, but it's an admirable substitute."

"I'll make a soda connoisseur out of you, yet."

"_Pop_ connoisseur."

When the waitress came back to take their order, Steve had decided on the grilled chicken breast with mashed potatoes and green beans, and Katherine had gotten a turkey club sandwich with a promise to Steve that she'd let him have some of her fries because she never finished them and he seemed to eat like a horse.

"Today was fun," Katherine said when the waitress left again, smiling when Steve took another long sip of his Pepsi. He seemed to be liking it more and more the more he drank it.

"It was. Thanks again. It felt like the first day I've been able to take a breath."

"Really?"

He nodded. "I know you've been doing your best trying to get us out and doing fun stuff, but I'm always on alert. I think it's a side effect of the serum. At the zoo, out with Lionel, even Christmas tree shopping, I just haven't been able to relax. Today I did."

"Probably because you were doing something you really love," Katherine suggested. "You're… really good at it, Steve."

"I'm alright." He shrugged it off like it was nothing.

"No. You're brilliant. There are a bunch of literary journals in New York that Wendy reads. They always need illustrations to go along with the pieces they put in there. If you'd ever want to submit something, I could help you."

"I probably wouldn't."

"Why not?"

"They wouldn't want Steve Rogers' drawings. They'd want Captain America's."

It was quiet after that, the two of them sitting in Steve's words. She wished there was something she could say to keep the hurt away from the walls around his heart. The real Steve, the one who hung out with Bucky in the 1940s and got sick every weekend was still in there, guarded because people only seemed to want the new and improved version of him.

"You could submit it under a different name," Katherine suggested softly, picking at her fingernail. "But only if you want to. I just wanted to offer in case it was something you wanted to do."

"I appreciate it, but it's just not in my future right now." But his eyes told her more than his words did. He wanted to, but he didn't feel as though he could. She understood the reservations he had and decided she would drop the subject for now.

Their food was delivered to them relatively quickly, and Katherine made do on her promise to slide over some of her fries to him as he scarfed down the chicken and mashed potatoes. He looked up at her and smiled. "Doesn't taste nearly as good as your cooking."

"Flattery will get you everywhere,"

The next few moments were quiet as they ate their food, Steve at a much quicker rate than Katherine did. In the end, she only ate three-quarters of her sandwich and let him have the rest, laughing when he immediately accepted it. She wondered if the quick eating was a mentality left over from the war or if it really only because of his fast metabolism due to the serum. Once his plate was clean, he leaned back and allowed Katherine to finish nibbling on the small pile of fries left on her plate.

"I don't know anything about you," Steve said after a few moments, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What do you mean?" He knew about Charlie. That was the most important piece of information in her life.

"I know the bad stuff. The stuff that brought you to S.H.I.E.L.D. But I don't know the good stuff, like what your favorite band is or when your birthday is."

"Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, and April nineteenth," she quipped back. He gave her a look that had her laughing. "Fine. We can play twenty questions."

After briefly explaining the rules, they began. His first question was easy, simply asking what her favorite color was. Neutrals. Her first question was what his favorite song was. Til the End of Time by Perry Como. When she was younger, what did she want to be when she grew up? A doctor. What had his favorite subject in school been? Science.

Time flew by, and Steve mentioned when the waitress brought the check over that they should probably text Lionel. "We each have one more question. Make it count," she warned him.

He took it seriously, the idea that this was his last question. Stalling, he grabbed the check before she could and set the card Fury had given him in the little pouch made for credit cards. While she jokingly glowered at him, he asked, "Do you regret letting Fury send you here with me?"

She knew what he was asking. Was he the burden that he obviously thought he was? "No," she said immediately, shaking her head. "I was upset at first because I would be so far from Sophia and her family, but I don't regret it." They paused for a moment so Katherine could calculate the tip for him since he was still getting used to the conversion of money value from the 1940s to now. As he scribbled down his signature, Katherine asked, "Speaking purely out of selfish reasons and if there had been no consequences… do you regret landing the Valkyrie in the ocean?"

He thought about her inquiry for a moment. "Yeah," he finally answered, and his voice was reverent. "It would have been nice to have a life with Peggy. And I hated that I brought Annie down with me. She told me it was okay, that we were going out together and that's what mattered, but… I still feel guilty she was there with me."

"It wasn't your fault. You were doing what was right. I'm not going to blame you for selfishly wishing it didn't happen."

Steve shrugged, as if telling her that things were unchangeable now. It was what it was. Lionel messaged her back saying he'd be there soon, so they were in the diner for a couple more minutes. Katherine didn't want the last thing they said in the diner to be heavy, so she gave him a smile and tried to lighten the mood.

"So, do you think you could teach me to draw?"

Steve raised his brows. "You want me to teach you how to draw?"

"I think it might be fun. We watch way too much TV," she joked. She was happy when he cracked a smile in her direction. "Obviously I don't want to be the next Picasso or anything, but it would be nice to learn a new skill."

"I wouldn't think learning how to draw would be a skill you'd be interested in learning. It doesn't really matter at S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Well, no, but… you like it and it's something we could do together. We're stuck with each other, so let's make the most of it, right?"

He thought about it for a moment before he slowly nodded. "Okay, sure. I'll try. I'm no teacher."

"I'm not a good student," Katherine replied, smiling. "You should have seen me in school when I was younger."

"I was a good student in classes. It was outside of class you had to worry about me. I was constantly getting in fights. Bucky patched me up more times than I could count. And then Annie when she became a nurse."

"Will you tell me about your life before the serum?" Katherine asked, leaning forward in interest.

He looked surprised. "You could just pick up a history book, you know."

"But I want to hear it from you. I want to know about Steve Rogers. I've heard bits and pieces, but I want to know more."

He leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. She wondered if he knew he was in a defensive position, blocking off his body as if to shield himself from the inquiry.

"There's really not much else to tell. I was scrawny but wanted to fight. I didn't like bullies. I tried to be like my dad and I think I failed. My mom was my favorite person in the world. Bucky and Annie deserved a better friend than me. They were always having to clean up my messes."

"I'm sure they didn't see it that way," Katherine said quietly.

"No, they didn't. They were too protective to let me think that way about myself. I miss them more everyday. Both of them are dead because of me."

"That's not true and you know it." He opened his mouth like he was ready to argue, but she shook her head. "They died doing what they thought was right. They didn't die _because _of you. They died _for_ you. And yeah, that makes you feel guilty but it should also make you feel incredibly respected and cared for, because they thought your life was worth risking theirs. Not many people in life would do that for someone else. You've got to cherish that. Honor it. Because if it was the other way around, they would be feeling the same way you are."

How many times had she been curled in her bed at night, unable to sleep because she was too busy wishing it had been her gone instead of Charlie? And how many times did she think, if the situation were reversed, that she would absolutely hate it that he thought that way? That he would be so willing to give his life for hers?

"You're thinking about your brother, aren't you?" Steve asked gently. His voice was no longer defensive like it had been. Instead, it sounded empathetic. He knew exactly what was going through her head.

"If it had been him to live and not me, and I found out he was wishing every day that it had been him who died instead… I would be furious. Livid. But that's just survivor's guilt. I think all of us feel it eventually. No matter how much we hate it."

Her phone chirped and she saw Lionel's message. When she looked outside the diner's window, she saw his car. "Lionel's here," she said unnecessarily, for Steve was looking out at Lionel's car too.

The two of them walked out of the diner and greeted Lionel happily, Katherine giving him a short hug as she got into the backseat. She didn't like being in the back, but she knew Steve hated it even more. He was too large to be squished in the backseat, and she could deal with it for the short ride to the safe house. Lionel chatted happily as they drove back, winding through the now familiar roads. He dropped them off with a cheerful goodbye.

"Thanks again for today, Katherine." Steve held the door open for her and she sent him a grateful smile. She was still getting used to his insistence on opening the doors for her. "It was exactly what I needed."

"I'm glad. We'll have to do it again sometime."

She shrugged her purse strap off her shoulder and started in the direction of her room. She thought she heard him take in a breath like he was going to say something, but decided against it as she closed the door to her room.

* * *

"_I think I'm paranoid_."

Sophia's voice trailed through the speaker of Katherine's phone. She was in her room, clicking away at her keyboard and searching once more for information on the last living Barnes sibling. She didn't know why Lillian being alive mattered so much, because Steve had explicitly stated he didn't want any of the Barnes siblings to be brought up, but she was thinking long term. Someday, he might feel differently, and if that day ever came, she would have information on Lillian if he wanted to get in touch with her.

"Why do you think you're going paranoid?" Katherine asked as she typed in a few more letters. S.H.I.E.L.D. had provided an address for Lillian, but she was in a retirement home which meant Katherine had to do a little more digging.

"_Fury just sent Romanoff off for some secret mission. But get this… I caught a glimpse of Tony Stark's file_."

"Why is that surprising? Howard was big at S.H.I.E.L.D."

"_Yeah, but Howard Stark wasn't Iron Man_."

Right. How could Katherine had forgotten? She had only had the pleasure of meeting Tony Stark twice in her life, despite the fact that Howard had been such a huge part of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s history. She had never met the elder Stark, given the fact he died before Katherine had even come to America, but she'd grown up on stories about him from Wendy and Timothy.

The first time she'd met Tony was when she was at one of his parties. She hadn't been invited, but it had been easy enough to sneak in under the guise of a pretty female. It had taken her about three days to completely scrub the makeup off her face, but it had been worth it. Stark Industries had a habit of selling weapons to people who were less than reputable. Katherine had been there with her partner Oscar De Santiago, scoping out arms dealer Andreas Kapelos.

While Oscar had been able to get Andreas alone and deal with him accordingly, Katherine had been stopped by a very drunk Tony Stark who called her Melissa (her undercover name had been Maia, so he hadn't been _terribly_ far off) before handing her an entire bottle of champagne and disappearing in a drunken stupor.

She hadn't thought he was responsible enough to be selling weapons, but she had reigned in her opinions in favor of helping Oscar out with Andreas.

The second time she met Tony Stark was after his kidnapping, at a press conference before the infamous "I am Iron Man" and before her disastrous mission in Austria. She had just been sent to keep an eye on him, evaluate his mental health for a file Fury was compiling on him. She had posed as a concierge at a hotel he stayed at, under the guise of a manager named Jordan Price. She had gathered her intel and had been on her way.

He hadn't been doing well.

"You're right. You think they sent Romanoff to keep an eye on him again?"

"_I don't know why. The jig is up on her whole Natalie Rushman act. I talked to Barton and he was pretty tight-lipped, but let it slip they're sending her to Kolkata_."

"What the hell are they sending her to Kolkata for?"

"_I'm not sure. But I did some digging_."

This didn't surprise Katherine. She and Sophia were similar. If there was information to be dug, they would dig. "And? You gonna keep me on my toes?"

"_Bruce Banner's last known location was at JFK, on a flight to India_."

Katherine's nose scrunched. "The Hulk? S.H.I.E.L.D. keeps tabs on him, Sophia. She's probably just going there for a routine checkup."

"_But going there and then compiling shit on Stark? And this whole damn experiment with you and Captain Rogers. Why the sudden interest in all these supers_?"

Katherine closed her laptop, rubbing at the bridge of her nose. "Coincidence?" she asked tiredly.

"_You're not that stupid_."

"No, but I am that exhausted. You gonna talk to Fury about it?"

"_Not yet. It wouldn't surprise me if they're planning something. You know the lengths they'd go to just to ensure HYDRA stops doing their shit_."

"Yeah," she said numbly. She knew exactly what S.H.I.E.L.D. would do to stop HYDRA. She knew what _she _would do to stop HYDRA. She didn't like to think about Austria, but the memories were always in the back of her mind. HYDRA had stopped scaring her a long time ago, but the fear of herself and what she was capable of was fresh and new. It was like trying to cure an infection with a bandaid. The real hurt and pain weren't even close to being healed.

"_Shit. Sorry, Kate_." Sophia must have guessed the direction Katherine's thoughts had taken.

"You're fine. Let me know what you find out, okay?"

"Sounds good. I'll talk to you soon, yeah? Only a couple more months of this."

Katherine ended their phone call and let out a long sigh, flopping her body back against her bed. She understood Sophia's worries about some super secret mission, since it wasn't the first and definitely wouldn't be the last time S.H.I.E.L.D. did something similar. But she wasn't in the field anymore. She couldn't figure out how anything having to do with Bruce Banner, Tony Stark, and Steve would affect her.

Finally deciding she'd laid around too much, she swung her leg over the side of her bed and stood. She heard the faint sound of the television from the living room, on some nature documentary Steve had started watching the night before. When he finally came into view, she saw him sitting on the couch, sketchbook and pencils in hand.

"What are you working on?" she asked quietly, as not to startle him. He looked up and gave her a small smile.

"Just messing around." He held out the sketchbook to her when she took a seat on the couch next to him. It was a cartoon styled depiction of the Redwood Forest in California. "Were you serious about those sketching lessons?"

Katherine raised a brow. "You think you're up for dealing with how absolutely horrid my artistic abilities are?"

"Somehow, I think I can handle it." He gently ripped out a page from the sketchbook and handed it to her, along with a large hardcover book so she had something to support it. "What do you want to draw?"

She debated for a moment. "Let's start easy."

"We'll try a rose." He got his own sheet of paper ready. "Start with the stem. Sketching is all about basic shapes first." She tried to mimic the thorned stem he'd drawn, feeling her tongue poke out in concentration. "Now draw two circles, one at the base of the stem facing you. The other will be facing the ceiling, so it's a different perspective."

"What do you mean, facing the ceiling?" Katherine asked, leaning over to look at his again. He slowed his pencil movements down so he wasn't going ahead of her. Once he was satisfied with her two circles, he moved on drawing two teardrop shapes poking out of the stem.

"You're not terrible," Steve mentioned when he showed her how to start drawing the petals. "I don't know why you think you are."

Katherine shrugged. "I guess I've never really tried sketching before." She finished the petal she was working on and started drawing the next one. He was getting ahead of her now, but not so much that she was getting confused. "What have you never done before?"

He didn't seem shocked at the question, seemingly used to Katherine asking him questions out of the blue. "Dance with someone." He immediately shook his head. "Wait, that's not true. I've never danced with a woman before. Bucky and I used to do stupid dances all the time when we were kids."

"You never danced with Annie?"

"Annie was too focused on nursing school and then she was with Howard. Peggy...Peggy and I never got the chance. I went in the ice before we could."

She hadn't really danced either. When she was younger, she and Charlie would dance in the living room of their house. Then he was dead and she was in America, but she wasn't like other little girls who got to go to formals or proms. When girls her age were dancing with their boyfriends at an embarrassing school dance, she was doing field work and learning how to disassemble and reassemble a gun. "You know, thinking about it, I've never really danced with a man before."

"You never danced with Ian?"

"We never really had an opportunity. I feel like dancing nowadays wouldn't be as fun as it was when you were younger."

"What do you mean?"

"We don't have classic dance halls much anymore. It's mostly just clubs and bars. And those are definitely fun, but it's not the same as an actual dance hall like the ones in the forties."

"You would have liked them. They always seemed bigger than they were. Part of it was the layout and part of it was the magic of them. The band was always too loud, but not in a bad way. I never danced but I used to sit in a booth and listen to them play all night."

"They sound awesome." Katherine finished her last petal and started on the leaf, like Steve was doing. After a couple of mistakes easily fixed with the eraser he provided her, she held her rose up proudly. "Tada."

"Looks great," Steve complimented.

"I had a good teacher," she joked, stretching out her legs until they rested on the table in front of her. "Charlie used to love watching stuff like this." She gestured to the television.

"Was he big into nature?"

"He said he wanted to climb Mount Rushmore because he wanted to take a picture with Abraham Lincoln." Katherine rolled her eyes.

"When I went into the ice, Mount Rushmore had only been opened to the public for four years," Steve mused. "Good to know it wasn't a waste."

"He was the adventurous one. He wanted to travel all over the world. I didn't really care about traveling. I think eventually I would have, but back then I didn't. You want to know something stupid?"

"I'm sure it's not stupid."

"He used to collect keychains whenever he visited a new city. Whenever I go somewhere new, I'll get one just to add to his collection."

"Definitely not stupid," Steve assured, setting his sketchbook on the table and facing her. "Are you going to get one from here?"

"Yeah, I'll get one. Maybe you can help me pick it out."

"Where are some of the places you've gotten keychains from?"

Katherine had to think about it for a minute. "Malibu, London, Egypt, and Seoul. Those were some of my favorites."

There was only one place she hadn't bought a keychain for, and it was Austria. She couldn't bring herself to. Even when she was standing in the airport, at one of those stupid little kiosks the had, she couldn't. She wouldn't have wanted Charlie to know what she had done. Who she had become.

"I've only been to London out of those places. I was in California once, when I was on the tour, but we never went to Malibu."

"My favorite was Mexico. I went with Sophia and her family to visit some family they had over there. It was beautiful."

"Where's somewhere you haven't gone that you want to someday?"

There were several places she had yet to visit, but she could live without seeing them. She tried to think of one she absolutely had to see. "Probably New Zealand. What about you?"

"It's going to sound stupid."

"I'm sure it's not stupid," she repeated his words from earlier, giving him a joking smile. He laughed, the laugh that she was growing so fond of. It was free of the pressures of Captain America.

"I want to visit Bucky's old place in Shelbyville. I made plans to go, but always got sick before we could leave. He used to talk about it all the time. I was so jealous he'd been somewhere like that."

"Definitely not stupid." And it made her think of Bucky's siblings, one of which who was very much alive. She wanted so desperately to tell Steve, but it wasn't the right time. Not when it could ruin everything. And definitely not when his eyes were starting to droop and he was still sitting on the living room couch. "Sleepy much?" she joked.

"Didn't get much sleep last night. I'm not meaning to be rude, I promise."

"I don't mind. Go get some sleep."

"I could say the same for you."

She laughed. "I'll go to bed eventually. I actually slept pretty well last night." That was a lie, but she wasn't feeling tired just yet. She was still energized enough to stay awake for a few hours. "Go, it's fine. I'll probably just watch another movie or something."

He finally conceded, standing from the couch. "I'll see you in the morning." They were still very much active in the home gym every morning. Since they woke around the same time now, they had a system in the gym. She boxed first while he tried out the treadmill and then they switched. He usually boxed the rest of their morning session but she stopped on the treadmill after forty minutes and did yoga the rest of the time. Steve still wasn't brave enough to try it with her.

"See you," she replied. "Oh, Steve?"

"Hm?" He turned around.

"I think the both of us will get to dance someday."

The smile he gave her in response was slow and warm, simmering underneath his skin like the embers of a fire. It did something strange to her stomach. "Yeah, we will. Night, Katherine."

She waved as his bedroom door closed for the night.

* * *

_Hope you guys enjoyed! This chapter is set in mid-January, and the Avengers plot obviously takes place in May, so I'm sprinkling in some stuff without being too obvious. If you want to see more on Katherine and Disfigure as a whole, check out my tumblr** fleetwoodmcs**!_


	9. Chapter Eight

Nicholas J. Fury was a frightening man. Katherine had only been ten when she'd met him, teary-eyed and still riding the lows she felt from her family's death. Back then, he had been this looming presence that just exuded importance, like nothing you said would ever be important enough for him to listen to. That feeling hadn't gone away over the years, but she had built up a hesitant relationship with him. He respected her as an agent, and that was all she could ever ask of him. When Austria had happened, he had even looked at her with a shred of pity he tried to hide, but she had caught the glimpse of it.

Him behind the screen of a computer didn't make him any less intimidating.

They had scheduled a briefing for when Lionel was going grocery shopping, and she had encouraged Steve to accompany their driver. That way she and Fury could discuss his progress without feeling like they had to tone it down for Steve's sake. Well, without _Katherine _feeling like she had to tone it down. She knew Fury well enough to know that he would never hold back for anyone's sake. Since Katherine didn't know just how much Steve trusted Fury yet, she figured it was a better idea to keep them apart.

"Status report," Fury said through the grainy speaker before Katherine could even say hello.

"Signs of PTSD, but that's normal. Nightmares, depression, anxiety. Normal stuff given what he's been through."

"Physically?"

"He's fine. I'm not sure what the limitations of the serum are, since Erskine didn't leave much notes, but I'd imagine his stats haven't changed since the forties."

"Socially?"

"He's been out of the house approximately twelve times now. Some nervousness in big crowds, but he does better one-on-one. Our outing at the museum proved to be successful."

"This is a significant improvement. I knew you were the right person for the job," Fury mentioned, leaning back in his chair. It was rare that he handed out compliments, so she took it with a respectful nod. Truthfully, there really hadn't been any other choices. Sure, there were agents that didn't work in the field, but they were rookies and didn't have the kind of security clearance to take on Captain America just yet. "And getting him up to speed on the modern world?"

"It's happening slowly but surely. It wouldn't be beneficial for his mental health to stress him about this now."

"I'm trusting your judgement on this," Fury agreed, nodding his head and crossing his arms over his chest. "Continue on with the work you're doing, Agent Baker. It's my assumption that you'll come home sometime around May or June, like we previously discussed. That will give him enough time to get used to the modern world and you enough time to figure out what the hell happened at Austria."

Fury had yet to bring up Austria, but she knew that he had been upset about it. It was supposed to be covert, and not result in the deaths of the HYDRA agents. They could have used them for intel. Most HYDRA agents had cyanide pills on hand, in case they were captured, but it wasn't always guaranteed. Katherine had screwed up. But when she'd returned from Austria, Fury hadn't said anything, just given her a look that conveyed how angry he was at her. It wasn't until Wendy suggested that he take it easy on her that he let the situation drop, but it was only a matter of time before he threw it back in her face.

"Don't give me that look, Baker," Fury said, rolling the eye that wasn't hidden behind the patch. "I've not discussed Austria since you returned. Whatever mental block it has on you, we need to get rid of it."

Katherine's hands were hardly clean of murder. There had been unfortunate times in the field that she'd had no other choice. But to willingly go against orders and kill the HYDRA agents they were sent to capture? The worst part was, Katherine always had a smidge of guilt when she killed. In Austria, that feeling had been gone.

Someone had told her once that when the guilt of killing went away, that was when she'd truly lost herself.

"I know, sir," Katherine managed to stutter out.

"We need Silhouette back in the field. You weren't meant to sit behind a desk all day."

And just like that, the screen was black. Fury was gone.

He had been right. Silhouette wasn't meant to sit behind a desk all day. She was too important, too helpful. But maybe Katherine Baker _was _meant to be out of the field. For too long, she had identified Silhouette and Katherine Baker as one person. The same coin, but representing the two different sides. Now, however, she wondered if Silhouette was a different coin entirely.

The first few months after Austria, Katherine had been sent to a mandatory therapist. There was one at the base, on standby in case anything like Austria ever happened. Katherine was all for trying to talk it out in therapy, but it hadn't helped much. All Doctor Ashbury could do was recommend some breathing exercises and antidepressants. Since Katherine had already been on those since her family's deaths, it didn't change her daily life in the grand scheme of things. Eventually, her appointments with Doctor Ashbury went few and far between until they stopped completely. That had been just weeks before Steve had woken up.

Steve was a great distraction, she had to admit. In trying to keep him from succumbing to his sadness and guilt and confusion, it had kept her busy enough to not focus on her own. Though she wouldn't wish the pain and anxiety on anyone, she was glad that Steve understood what she was feeling.

The padlock on the door let out a tiny little beeping noise when Steve entered the code to the door, and it swung open to reveal him carrying in all of the grocery bags, Lionel standing uselessly behind him with his hands up, as if to tell Katherine "he offered."

"I hope we got everything that you needed," Steve said as he set the bags down on the counter. "We got some extra stuff that wasn't on your list. I was thinking tomorrow we could go to the fish market and you could make a traditional Swedish dish?" he grinned when he saw Katherine, and the sight of his breezy smile made Katherine's heart lighter. It was nice to see him so giddy, all traces of the pain he had suffered through gone from his features.

Katherine stood from the couch and made her way over to him, examining what they'd picked up at the store. There were lots of vegetables, since a lot of the fruits still weren't entirely in season yet, and several pounds of meat that she could keep in the freezer until they were ready to be used. "Thanks," she said, giving Steve a smile. "We'll definitely hit the fish market tomorrow."

Lionel sat on one of the barstools and crossed his arms over his chest. "My daughter's birthday is tomorrow, so I'll be gone for two days. I already cleared it, but I just wanted to let you guys know."

"Tell her I say happy birthday," Steve mentioned offhandedly, helping Katherine unload some of the grocery bags.

"How will we ever survive without you?" Katherine asked, and Lionel let out a laugh.

"Somehow, I think you'll manage. I'm taking off." He stood from the barstool and gave both Katherine and Steve hugs. It was comical to see him hug Steve, who was a giant compared to Lionel, but she held in the laugh that threatened to bubble over. When Lionel let the door close behind him, Steve let out a breath.

"You okay?"

He gave her a wry look. "Getting out today was difficult. It's just...one of those days, you know?" Katherine slowly stopped pulling out the groceries from the bag as he leaned against the counter, his large arms crossing over his chest. She could see the weariness in his expression, in the way he held his head low and the furrow of his eyebrows. It was an expression she was familiar with. She had worn it for most of her life, and was still struggling with it. Which was why when she finished putting the groceries away, she smiled at him.

"I have an idea."

* * *

It had taken them about an hour to set up the at-home gym the way they wanted to, but Katherine had found wrestling mats in one of the corners of the gym and Steve had helped her set it out with no trouble at all. In reality, he probably could have done it himself, but he seemed to realize that she wanted to feel useful and allowed her to carry one end, though he carried most of the weight. Once it had been rolled out on the floor, they started to move the equipment like the elliptical and treadmill. Soon, the mat was pretty much the only thing in the center of the room.

"You sure about this?" Steve asked hesitantly. It was the fourth time in the past hour that he'd asked the question. If she didn't know Steve, she might have been offended that he doubted her skill. But she knew it came form a place of genuine worry and not sexism.

"You know I was a field agent for the past seven years, correct?" Katherine joked, placing her hands on her hips. They had both changed into their workout gear, which consisted of a racerback tank and sports bra with leggings for Katherine, and a plain white shirt and mesh sweatpants for Steve.

He didn't seem to be appeased by her answer, but shrugged his shoulders. Katherine had some of her music playing from the speaker she had brought in, but she could pinpoint the exact moment that Steve stopped hearing it. His eyes became more focused, staring at her with the steadiness of a sharpshooter. His muscles looked relaxed, but she knew from experience that they were poised and ready to be used. He seemed to be waiting for her to make the first move, and eyed her as she straightened her ponytail. The hair was a gamble because he could easily grab it in his fist and use it against her, but she felt in her gut that he wouldn't even think of it.

His eyes flickered to her left leg when she started to move it, just before he brought his hands up to defend himself as she shot at him like a bullet. Because of his strength, she knew that it would be difficult to get him down, but hopefully his strength didn't exactly equal battle strategy. She pulled away from his grip easily enough, knowing that he wasn't using his full strength and sneering a little at the thought that he was going easy on her.

He rushed at her, and she barely had time to duck out of the way, turning quickly and kicking her foot upwards to try and get him in the side of his face. She underestimated how fast he was, and her eyes widened a little in surprise when his hand shot out to grab her foot and twist it, forcing her to propel her body in the direction he moved it, twirling a little in the air before landing unsteadily back on her feet.

But he was starting to smile. And that was all that mattered.

She shot out her hand to catch him in the jaw, but he moved too quickly, grabbing her elbow and side-stepping her. He was behind her now, elbow still locked in his grip, close enough so she could feel the breath on her neck. The angle was awkward for the arm that he held, so she kicked her foot backwards and caught him on his shin. Still, that wasn't enough to surprise him. She tried again, moving her other arm to try and elbow him in the gut and wind him enough to let her go, but he simply caught that in his hands too.

_Jesus, this was going to hurt_, she thought to herself before she slammed her head backwards, her skull meeting his jaw with a horrifying banging noise. The surprise of it was enough to have him jumping backwards, rendering her free from his grip. Her head pounded a little, but the adrenaline was keeping her from feeling the full pain of it.

"You're not giving a hundred percent," she said in an annoyed tone of voice, narrowing her eyes at him. He was rubbing his jaw, his eyes void of all the guilt and anxiety she had seen in them earlier.

"I can promise you I am," he argued, grinning a little at the statement. "You're stronger than I give you credit for."

She laughed. "Strength sometimes doesn't mean shit. It's strategy." As soon as she finished her sentence, he was running at her again. She dropped into a crouch, swinging her leg out so it would get him in the ankles and hopefully send him tumbling to the ground. Unfortunately for her, his size didn't distract from his focus and concentration, and he jumped over her swinging foot at the last second. When she cursed, he just laughed. He descended upon her, ready to pick her up by the arms and trap her again, but she quickly rolled herself backwards to get some distance between the two of them and could stand without him interfering. Back on her feet, she held up her hands in front of her defensively.

It was her turn to run at him, throwing a punch that missed its mark entirely. She wasn't terrible with hand-to-hand, but because her body was small and she hadn't done this kind of fighting in a while, she was tiring out easier than she would have in any other circumstance. She knew that she had to end the little sparring session before her body crumpled from the weight of exhaustion. If she had her bow and arrow, this fight would have ended more quickly than it had begun. Turns out, fighting a super soldier was more difficult than it looked.

He went to grab at her and she kicked her foot into the back of his knee. He didn't drop to the ground like she had hoped, but his knee bent just enough for his height to get to where she wanted it. Using his bent knee as a stepping stool, she jumped up on it and wrapped her leg around his neck, throwing her body backwards onto the mat. When her body made contact with the ground, she wrapped her other leg around his neck and grabbed the hand that tried to reach up to unravel his neck from her grip. With his neck and arm incapacitated, there weren't many other moves he could pull.

She saw the arm she didn't hold reach to tap the mat with a quick pattering motion. She released the iron-like grip her thighs had on his neck and let go of his hand. He was a terrible, sweating mess, but she imagined she looked the same. Instead of standing, the both of them just laid on the mat, staring up at the ceiling.

"How long has it been since you've been on a mission?" he asked, and she hated that he didn't even seem out of breath.

Her eyes closed. "Coming up on four months. I had one, it went badly, you cropped up on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s radars and I was assigned to you. Fury thought I needed to get out of the field for a while."

"Did you think you needed to get out of the field?"

She turned her head to look at him. He had his head propped up on one of his arms, and though his eyes were on the ceiling instead of her, she could tell that he was eagerly awaiting her answer. "Yeah. It was probably for the best. I...I kind of lost control for a minute there. Forgot myself and the mission. Treated it like a personal vendetta rather than a job. Fury was smart to take me out."

"And does he want you back in?"

Katherine twisted her body so she was leaning her head on her hand, elbow propped up. Her eyes met his and he moved slightly to copy her position, the both of them facing each other. "He thinks he does. But he wants my skill, not necessarily me. He still thinks that I might be a loose cannon. I'll definitely have to go through evals before he puts me back in the field permanently. Obviously I'll go back if it's a huge crisis, but...I think I might be a little terrified of myself."

Steve reached out, gently touching her shoulder. The touch was comforting, like an anchor to remind her that she was here, she was valid, and she was _real_. "You're a good person, Katherine. I sense that. Everyone makes mistakes." Her hand reached up to pat his, then grimaced a little at the sweat. "What?" he asked, grinning a little.

"We both desperately need a shower. Rock, paper, scissors for who gets first?"

"Rock paper scissors?" he asked quizzically, raising a brow.

"Roshambo."

The grin widened. "Roshambo. Bucky and I used to do that when we saw a pretty dame we both liked. We all knew Bucky was going to win because he was the ladies man, but I liked thinking I had a chance."

"I'm sure there was some lucky lady who would have gone for you and not Bucky." Katherine sat up, sitting on the mat and grimacing at the sweat that glistened when she pulled her body away. She would definitely have to clean this sooner rather than later. Steve snorted, but didn't say anything to refute her statement as he too sat up. Katherine placed her hand out in front of her, putting her other fist on top of it. He copied her motion. "Alright, so nowadays we say rock, paper, scissors instead of roshambo. Put down your hand on scissors. Closed fist is rock, flat hand is paper, and two fingers are scissors."

"Best two out of three?" Steve asked. Katherine nodded eagerly.

"Rock, paper, scissors!" Katherine frowned when Steve produced a flat hand and she presented her closed fist. He shrugged with a little smirk when she glared at him. "Rock, paper, scissors," she said again, and groaned when his scissors cut her paper. "Fine, you get first shower. I'll try and clean the mat up while you're in the bathroom."

"I can help if you want," he offered, but she saw the longing in his eyes for the long, hot shower. She couldn't blame him.

"Don't worry about it. You won, fair and square." She waved him off and he sent her a grateful smile. Once he moved out of the gym, Katherine grabbed some disinfectant spray and sprayed the mat down well, letting it air dry before she worked to fold it up and put it back in the corner they had found it in. Though she hadn't done any of the cardio or yoga she usually did, she felt herself energized and ready for the day. They didn't have any plans, but suddenly Katherine wanted to get out of the house and use the energy that had built up to do something fun.

Steve was quick to get out of the shower, popping his head into the gym to tell her that he was done. She was quick to take one, still making sure to thoroughly scrub her body so she got all the grime off her skin before she got out and changed into her usual neutral colored clothing. Sophia gave her shit for wearing them all the time, but they were nice and comforting to look at. Made Katherine feel like she didn't stand out.

"You look ready for the day," Steve commented when she exited the bathroom about thirty minutes later, her hair still a little wet but pulled up into a ponytail. He was wearing jeans and a comfy looking gray tee. She accepted the small bacon and egg sandwich he provided her and took a bite out of it. Steve didn't like to season his with anything, just put an abnormal glob of cheese on it, so she grabbed the hot sauce out of the pantry and put a couple of drops on it.

"Was wondering if you wanted to go on a walk with me. No particular destination, but it'll be nice to get out of the house."

He shrugged, seeming to be a fan of the idea. They finished up their sandwiches, Steve quickly grabbing his notebook, sketchbook, and pencils. He liked to bring them wherever he went because he "never knew when he would be inspired" or when he would "need to write a reference down." Katherine thought it was a rather endearing habit. The two of them exited the house, walking down the driveway and taking in the cool Delaware air. Steve was perfectly happy without a jacket, but as it was the first week of February, Katherine snuggled into the warmth her sweatshirt provided. Things were quiet between them for several minutes, but the both of them were comfortable with it.

"It's going to be weird getting back into human civilization once the six months are up," Steve commented once they had been walking for about ten minutes.

Katherine looked over at him. "I know. Two and a half more months to go."

"I can't believe it's already been four," he stated, and it looked like he wanted to stuff his hands in his pockets, which she had noticed seemed to be his nervous habit. However, due to the stuff in his hands, he couldn't. "Mind if we sit at that park bench? I want to sketch something."

"Sure." They made their way over. The park had a little lake in the middle of it, so when they were seated comfortably, Steve immediately set out to sketch the outline of the lake. "You think you're ready to get back out there in the real world?"

Steve smiled wryly. "No. Yes. I don't know. I'm tired of feeling like a burden or an invalid, but I also know it's stupid to assume I know everything I need to before becoming a functioning member of society."

"I assure you, there are several people around in this time period who haven't grasped the concept of being a functioning member of society." Both she and Steve snorted at her statement and she watched his hand delicately trace a pencil across the page. She could see the beginnings of some of the plants around the lake form on his paper. "You don't have to if you don't want to, you know. We can talk to Fury. If you aren't comfortable—"

"Fury wouldn't let me sit anything out and you know it," he said in a soft voice. The words were cruel and cutting, but she knew he didn't mean them that way. It was just another reminder that he didn't even own himself. Steve Rogers had been buried long ago.

"I could talk to him."

"It sounds like he wouldn't let you sit out anything either," he argued gently.

She pressed her lips together. "He wouldn't let Silhouette sit out. He'd be fine letting Katherine Baker sit out."

"Silhouette?"

"My S.H.I.E.L.D. alias. My version of Captain America."

His hand suddenly made a striking dark line. Her eyes followed the movement. "There's a distinction between the two?"

"There's a distinction between Captain America and Steve Rogers, isn't there?"

He nodded absentmindedly, but she could tell most of his focus was on the sketch in front of him. She allowed herself to be silent, closing her eyes and listening to the sounds of the park around her. It was still too cold for any children to be out playing, so any voices she heard were from people who wanted to walk like she and Steve had. The lake moved every so often, making a sort of velvety sound against the dirt surrounding it. The loudest thing she could hear was the scratch of the pencil against the page, and sometimes the sound of an eraser being used.

"Tell me about Charlie," he whispered.

Normally she would tense at a request like that. She would get clammy and avoid it. Talking about Charlie hurt. It was like this giant part of her heart that had died with her family that day. But remembering Charlie, with his bright smile and big brown eyes, hurt even more. Her parents at least had gotten to experience most of their lives. They had fallen in love, had children, travelled. Charlie never got those same experiences. Instead, there was just this empty space in her brain where memories of his should have been. She should have watched him fall in love, watched him learn to play the piano, watched him become a father.

When Steve asked, though...something was different. Steve, who knew much more pain than she would ever know. He had lost his family and friends. He had lost Bucky, who was just as much of a brother to him as Charlie was to her.

Which is why she smiled a little. "He was afraid of Donald Duck."

She heard him laugh. "Why?"

"Didn't like how he talked. The sound used to scare him."

With her eyes closed, she could imagine that Charlie was sitting right there with her. He would be staring at the same lake Steve was, bugging every ten seconds to see what Steve was drawing. Though he would be twenty-two now, he would still be as curious as he had been when he was seven. Maybe he would be doing something stupid to make Katherine and Steve laugh, or maybe he would be skulking angrily because he hadn't wanted to go to the park.

Katherine wondered if Steve imagined Bucky like that sometimes.

"Tell me something about Bucky," she requested. The last time she had asked, he had shut her down. He only offered information about Bucky when he wanted to. And she would respect that, should he choose the same when he answered her now. But she would always remain curious.

He cleared his throat and she heard the pencil stop moving against the paper. "He once got suspended for putting itching powder in the gym shorts of someone who had been bullying me."

Katherine's eyes opened at that little anecdote, letting out a big laugh as the sentence settled between them. "That's priceless. The bully deserved it."

"I tried to take the fall for it, but Bucky wouldn't let me. The bully ended up getting suspended too."

She leaned over to examine the sketch. It was a beautiful depiction of the lake, with large weeds surrounding it. It looked complete, but he was still drawing something underneath it. When he pulled his hand away, she saw that it was a silhouette of her profile, eyes closed and face tilted towards the sky.

"You're so talented," she said absentmindedly. "I always wanted to be good at something like that."

"Apparently you're good at fighting," he retorted, giving her a small smile as he remembered their little sparring session. "You ever use weapons? Like how I use my shield?"

Katherine looked out to the lake. "I'm best with a bow and arrow. There's another agent, Barton, he and I always mess around and try to see who hits the most targets. If Romanoff or Sophia didn't mediate, we'd be in there for days. Usually it ends in a tie. Other than that, I'm pretty okay with daggers too, but I don't use them much."

"Did you get to pick what weapon you used?"

Katherine shrugged. "When I first became an agent, I went through this...try-out of sorts. They put you in a room with a bunch of different weapons and you see which ones you're most proficient with. It doesn't always work out like that, since sometimes Fury recruits pretty well-known combat people, but for most field agents, they have to be proficient with at least three weapons before they're sent out into the field. And they have to be able to beat Romanoff in a spar."

"Romanoff?" Steve asked.

"Notorious agent for S.H.I.E.L.D. She's slightly frightening, but she knows her stuff. Once you get to know her, she's really cool. I showed Fury I was decent with a bow and arrow, daggers, and a gun pretty quickly. I think I was only in there for two hours. But it took me six tries to beat Romanoff. And I'd been doing training for seven years before that," she explained. Steve looked surprised. She wondered if it was because he had automatically gained his strength and stamina instead of having to build it up, like she had when she was training to go into the field. She didn't envy him for it or anything. But it was funny how different their circumstances were.

"I'm not going to have to go through that training, am I?" he asked suddenly.

Katherine couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled up in her throat. "For some wild reason, I don't think they'll make Captain America go through the same training."

"But then have I really earned a place at S.H.I.E.L.D?"

"Do you really want to? I thought you were still on the fence about them."

That seemed to get through to him, and he pursed his lips as he thought about how he was going to answer.

"No one's expecting you to trust us right away. I didn't trust S.H.I.E.L.D. right away, either. And yeah, I guess I'm a little biased because they took me in, but S.H.I.E.L.D. saved my life. More times than I can count. But...you have a choice, Steve. I know it may not feel like it, but Fury will let you walk away if you genuinely want to hang up the mantle."

"That's the thing," he whispered, closing his sketchbook and setting his pencil down, "I'm not sure if I want to hang it up."

The two of them stared at the lake some more, letting his words sink in. He had a choice, sure. If he walked away from this, Fury would still provide him with enough money for him to live comfortably on until the day he died, whenever that may be. He wouldn't be obligated. He didn't...owe them like she did. Katherine couldn't ever imagine walking away from S.H.I.E.L.D. Because it wouldn't just be S.H.I.E.L.D. she was walking away from. It was Sophia and her family, it was the only life Katherine had ever known since she was ten, and it was the idea that without S.H.I.E.L.D, all she'd be was a sad little girl who lost her family.

"Ready to head back?" Katherine asked, standing from the bench and pressing her palms together to get some warmth back in them.

"Sure."

It wasn't home they were returning to. Home for Steve meant a little place in Brooklyn with Bucky by his side. Home for Katherine meant sitting around with Sophia's family, listening to Wendy tell a joke and call Katherine _mija_. But it was a hell of a lot better than S.H.I.E.L.D, which was what the both of them needed at the moment.

It wasn't home they were returning to. But it wasn't war, either.


End file.
